Brought down to earth with a bump :(

chatterbox3110

I've been feeling really good about myself recently, my weight is dropping and I am more mobile and exercising regularly. I'd received a lovely comment from my son in law a few days ago, who apparently hadn't recognised me in the crowd when he was trying to find me in our local shopping centre, and I was really feeling as though I was starting to get somewhere, even though I've not really dropped clothing sizes much.

THEN - my brother called in last night to collect Christmas gifts. I haven't seen him in ages so was hoping for a 'phew, you lost weight' comment - stupid me.

He looked as though he'd lost some weight, and was looking good, so I asked him, and he said that he'd lost 28lbs. I congratulated him, and said that I'd been working hard too, and lost 76lbs. He looked at me, and then quite seriously said 'where?' I think he must have seen my face drop, as he quickly said 'only joking', but the damage was done, and now I feel c**p about myself again

risefromruin

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that! Family members should be much more supportive. If it makes you feel any better, I've lost over 100 lbs and my brother has never said anything to me about it, lol. My mom asks him, "Doesn't Jeanette look good?" and he says "of course" or whatever, but never on his own! It's okay though. I hope that your brother learns to be more supportive in the future and learns from his mistake. It's obvious that you're doing wonderful. Keep up all of your hard work!

RoanneRed

He's obviously not very observant - it's a weakness I'm aware of in myself but otherwise suspect it might be a male thing.

taso42

Oh what a jerk! He probably thought he was being funny, since it it's plainly obvious what a great job you've done so far. I think he probably was just making a dumb joke, and had no idea how hurtful it would be.

Bottom line - you're doing fantastic, look great, and I bet you feel great too. Keep up the good work, and never mind that brother of yours.

chatterbox3110

Thanks everyone.

I think it hurt me more because my mother also tells me, every time I update her on how I'm progressing, that its such a shame it doesn't show on me.

So I'm left thinking 'are people who know I'm dieting just making noises they think I want to hear?' or does it really NOT show?

AAAAAGGGHHHH - so fed up right now, but I'll bounce back I'm sure........

chatterbox3110

Thanks everyone.

I think it hurt me more because my mother also tells me, every time I update her on how I'm progressing, that its such a shame it doesn't show on me.

So I'm left thinking 'are people who know I'm dieting just making noises they think I want to hear?' or does it really NOT show?

AAAAAGGGHHHH - so fed up right now, but I'll bounce back I'm sure........

chevy88grl

Thanks everyone.

I think it hurt me more because my mother also tells me, every time I update her on how I'm progressing, that its such a shame it doesn't show on me.

So I'm left thinking 'are people who know I'm dieting just making noises they think I want to hear?' or does it really NOT show?

AAAAAGGGHHHH - so fed up right now, but I'll bounce back I'm sure........

Sometimes I think those closest to us are the worst supporters in this journey. When I was overweight, my mom would tell me "Your real dad's family has heart issues! You should lose weight". When I started losing weight, instead of congratulating me or whatever.. she would say "You do know you'll kill yourself running on the treadmill".

I think you're doing a fabulous job. Keep it up and don't let jerk a$$es get you down!

em9371

ive not seen you before and i can see the difference straight away in your profile pic, your face is loads slimmer keep it up and dont take any notice of your brother he is probably just jealous you have lost so much more than him!

Naomi_84

Don't let it get you down, use it as motivation and show him!! Men can be blunt and aren't the most observant creatures, you have lost the most amazing amount of weight, carry on and you'll be where you want to be in no time and you will no longer need the approval of your insensitive brother x

ChitownFoodie

You can see the difference....and you've done a great job! Don't let it get to you. He was probably just kidding.

RieBerg

Sometimes peoople, especially men aren't keen to details, just tell yourself that next time you will lose so much it will be impossible for him not to see!

Elf_Princess1210

((Hugs)) You know how brothers can be. You're doing so well, though! Don't let it get you down.

Elf_Princess1210

Thanks everyone.

I think it hurt me more because my mother also tells me, every time I update her on how I'm progressing, that its such a shame it doesn't show on me.

So I'm left thinking 'are people who know I'm dieting just making noises they think I want to hear?' or does it really NOT show?

AAAAAGGGHHHH - so fed up right now, but I'll bounce back I'm sure........

I can see a real difference in your before and after photos. Do you see your mom every day? Maybe she doesn't notice a difference because she sees you every day. I don't know......but i think you look great. My sister has the same body type as you do, and she has the same problems. She'll lose a bunch of weight, but only people who are paying attention will notice. Then she'll get depressed because no one notices and gain all the weight she lost and then some. I understand it is hard when you see the scale move, but don't notice a difference in how you look. Stay strong

RachelT14

First off looking at your pictures i can see a huge difference, you have done an amazing job dont let anyones comments stop you it is definelty obvious that you have lost lots.

Secondly in my experience men and familly members seem to be the last people to notice these things, your brother clearly spoke without thinking which is a shame as he is in the weight loss boat as well. Be proud of yourself and keep on with your amazing work,

kenzietea

I don't know your family dynamics, but men can be silly like that sometimes.

I can see a difference, I am sorry your brother was insensitive. You should definitely keep going, because you really are looking great. My fiance really can't tell a difference because he sees me everyday and thought I was sexy 36 pounds ago.. But, because of my confidence he says I come across sexier. So hold your head up, and keep up that confidence. I'm sorry you had your feelings hurt

Eleanorjanethinner

Hi there,

To me, your post suggests that you should try really hard not to give other people that power over your feelings. Surely you're not on this journey for their approval? Try to make your own approval the main thing that matters. Take into account what people say, but in the end, be confident in your choices and your progress. Even if no-one says anything positive or is 100% negative, you know that you've made great strides!

Ideally you wouldn't need me to say this, but your weight loss is amazing! Keep focussed on your progress and being proud of yourself.

Good luck!

tassles

you are doing great...remember that...no matter what others say or don't say! as long as you are feeling better physically then nothing else should matter!

besides i can see the difference and im sure your heart can too!

keep up the great work! you'll look back at this time one day and laugh about it.....Im sure of it! x x

ArchyJill

You can totally see the difference, and I bet you can feel the difference even more. Sometimes it's hard to remember that most men have oatmeal instead of the observation/think before speaking part of their brain and brothers seem doubly affected by this.

SLKMERC

OMGoodness there is a huge difference in your photos!

I have a brother so know all too well how it is, I know the damage that can be done with one comment like that, but only you can decide to brush it aside and be stronger! Good luck on your path, you are certainly going in the right direction!

paulwgun

Like Em9371 said above Ive never seen you before either but noticed straight away from your face that youve lost
Ive had a few comments on my loss but the people im thinking should be saying supportive comments arent saying them

birdielosingit

Don't let it get you down or stall your progress!! Sometimes I feel like those closest to me are my biggest saboteurs. In my case, I think it is because admitting that losing weight is good for me would be acknowledging their own weight issues. 76 lbs is phenomenal! The only person who can get you to your goals is you- keep it up!!

feliciapeters

he's a man AND he's your brother. Probably wouldnt notice if you cut off your nose & glued it to your forehead.
'Nuff said LOL
YOU notice right?
YOUR the only one who matters

RoanneRed

While we can look at your photos and note the difference, it can take a while to show with so much weight to lose - keep up the great work and one day you will have suddenly gotten to a point where noone can help but notice!

Gabriall

I'm so sorry, I really honestly know how that feels, and because of similar remarks a healthy dose of depression and stuff ended up putting the weight back on but yanno what, im back im here, i acknowledge that there will always be people like that and hurtful things said but i'm here doing it for me... and i WANT it .

theres such a lovely community here and everybody is very supportive have faith in yourself you've already done such a marverlous job keep it up

ajbeans

Why are you letting him dictate your attitude and self-image? YOU know you've come a long way. YOU know you've done an amazing job. YOU know you look awesome. Who cares what he thinks? Don't let someone else have control over you that way. He was being a *kitten* and he knew it.

Don't let anyone else steal your happiness. They don't deserve to have that power over you.

:flowerforyou:

PrincessEliNa

Well...let me share a story with you,
I put a picture of my self on facebook (My current pic) with the title 14 lbs lost, 14 to go!
Many people were very sweet, but then the "why do you need to lose more", "are you eating", "You're gonna look like Lindsay Lohan-and that's BAD" comments came rolling my way

I was about to feel horrible about myself-but really, they don't matter! You're the one that knows your body, you KNOW you've lost that weight, and will continue to lose and be HEALTHY.

Don't let other's opinion or silly comments get you down. *hug*

CouchSpud

Out your boot up your brothers back side... what a git and yes, it is obvious that you have lost weight only from looking at your pics, so don;t let it get you down

thcri

Try not to let it get you down. As others said you are doing a fantastic job so keep doing what you have been doing. He will notice some day. If you let it get to you it can only bring you down. Keep at it.

MaraDiaz

I think it's also harder to tell with the clothes you're wearing. They're designed to hide you, and they do. Which unfortunately means they also hide the weight you've lost. But give it some more progress, and when you can change up your clothing style a bit, I really do think it will show. And then you're going to get to enjoy the shock on everyone's faces as you come out of hiding a much smaller you.

AmberLiscous

Sweetie you are doing an amazing job!!! You look fantastic!!! Brothers don't know when to not say anything.....if he is anything like my brother he is a smart *kitten* and needs to put his foot in his mouth! Maybe he is jealous because you have lost more than him and you are taking your health serious.....don't let this get you down....if anything use this as fuel to keep pushing through to your goal!!!!!!

kelseyhere

i can see that you've made progress. in fact, it's pretty obvious. i'm of the opinion that men are just not very observant. even if he did notice, he could be feeling jealous that you've made more progress than him and that could be why he said that. many people say mean things because they themselves are hurting.

more than how you look on the outside though, is how you feel on the inside. all of the weight loss has no doubt made you a much healthier person. you are on the road to a longer, happier life.

next time your brother, or anyone else for that matter, says something unsupportive, try to turn their negative energy into physical energy. i am often tempted to comfort myself with food, but instead i let myself get a little mad, then walk vigourously for about 10 minutes or pick up some hand weights. after a few minutes of physical distraction, i always feel better. plus, that extra 10 minutes will just add up and help you get closer to your goal