I Ate the Skinny Girl

MochaMixAZ

There will always be someone you perceive as thinner, smarter, faster, wealthier, kinder, stronger, prettier, funnier, or sexier. And to that I say – HOORAY! It’s time to turn that envy around to work FOR you and not against you!

This was crystallized for me during a recent trip to visit friends in Washington State. On any given day, I consider myself a relatively positive, healthy, motivated, person. I constantly set mini-goals for myself and am on a continuous (and fun!) quest for self-improvement. Most recently, I’ve been trying to “go green”… and I’ve been pretty proud of the strides I’ve made. Until my visit to Washington, that is. Our friends, who we will call Pip and Kia, are uber-greenophytes. On a visit to the store where we bought our food staples for the weekend, Kia was aghast that our groceries were packaged in plastic bags… which would push her over her self-imposed plastic bag limit of seven a year. Yes, a YEAR. Moreover, when she laid out our homemade, impressive picnic-lunch spread, she produced real silverware. . . that we could use, brings back home, and wash. (Hasn’t she heard of plastic silverware?) All the products in their beautiful home were organic (down to the hand soap and cleaning products). Even their home was a renovated 1920’s structure! How could I even *consider* saying *I* was going green when compared to this standard?

For a moment, I felt inferior. Even with all my recent green efforts, I probably produced more waste and expended more energy in a day then they would in a year. But then I really began to appreciate all they do, and turned it into an opportunity to learn more and get ideas. Rather than look at it as my failure, why not turn it into inspiration?

I think we can do that with almost any situation where our initial reactions may include envy, inferiority, jealousy, or the like. When you hear a friend has lost 30 pounds… do you beat yourself up about why YOU haven’t been successful? Do you secretly begrudge her? When a colleague snags a lucrative promotion, do you wonder why it wasn’t you instead? When a “skinny b*tch” sidles past you looking smoking hot in a bikini, do you surreptitiously curse your love handles and hurl silent curses that she breaks a heel and tumbles into the pool? Well… STOP!

Instead, I propose these are opportunities for you to celebrate someone else’s success, perhaps learn something new, and to leverage for your own use. For that friend who has lost 30 pounds – why not share heartfelt congratulations and even ask her what she found to help her be successful? Why not use this as an occasion to say to yourself, “Wow! That’s inspiring! This really shows me it’s worthwhile to stick to my program!” For that colleague with the promotion, consider applauding her without reserve. Then, if you still wonder why you haven’t realized equal commemoration, take a moment to really analyze the situation. To get a similar promotion, what would you have to give up (i.e. time off, projects you enjoy, lower stress)? If, after analysis, it’s something you really would like… then make a plan to achieve it. Ask your friend for ideas and tips. Embrace that someone else’s success does not equal your failure. For the hot chic in the bikini, why not tell her she looks tremendous, steal some of her confidence, and strut your own stuff?

I’ve chosen to be motivated by others, not intimidated or challenged. Every once in awhile, it’s important to do a realistic and honest self-assessment. What HAVE you accomplished? What are you proud of? What are you good at? What have you improved? What are your opportunities? What might others envy about YOU? With a candid self-appraisal, you will probably discover you’re pretty fabulous. You can uncover things you’d like to work on, then make a plan to get there. Solicit advice and ideas from those you admire. Understand you can always work to self-improve, but that you’re remarkable just as you are. And you’ll soon discover something else… confidence is HOT, addictive, and contagious. The more confident you are, the more confident you will become. It’s okay, become a legend in your own mind! And by doing so, you WILL be one in your own time! You’re worth it!