Tech Support

LauraMacNCheese

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?




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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: ! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
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This one and the next are our personal favorites!
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
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And last but not least!
Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

quigonnjae

LOL.. I have seriously done phone PC support for quite a few years.. Oh the storys that i can tell that REALLY happened ..

quigonnjae

For instance... Customer called in stating that the display on his laptop was really dim... I asked him if he could press the FN key and hit the number 6 on the keyboard... The customer responded what did you just say ... I replied I need you to press the FN key and hit the number 6.... At this point the customer started going off on me about my apparent unprofessionalism.. Confused I asked how I was being unprofessional and he responded that I was cursing . After an awkward silence it dawned on me ... the customer thought I was telling him to hit the "EFFIN" key.. I then had to appologize profusely and explain that I needed him to hit the FUNCTION key

LauraMacNCheese

A friend of mine used to work on our IT Help Desk...he got this call: "my computer won’t turn on, BUT there is a black cable just laying on the floor. Should that be plugged in?..." *facepalm*

5q4vwp2bxq

How do I view my “friends” info. They can see mine, but I can’t see theirs.

Corina1143

You've got me down perfect. That's exactly how much I know about computers.