Support and Encouragment

sunandstars2

As I begin, yet again, on a weight loss and fitness program, I am happy to say that THIS TIME I have the unconditional support of my wonderful boyfriend. It is SO NICE to know that I have someone backing me up, cheering me on, keeping me on track, and excited for my success.

I read a lot of posts here about women who "aren't allowed to lose too much weight" or "get a 6-pack"... I am thinking to myself, "what kind of man does not want his woman to be in shape?" I suppose there are some that get to the extreme, with chiseled abs and snap-you-in-half thighs. But realistically, most women do not want that kind of build. We just want to slim down, tone up, and feel good about ourselves.

Everyone's self-image is different -- Keeping the body we want in mind, we set goals, and we get varied results. Somewhere in there hopefully you end up happy with the work you've done. Personally, I am feeling pretty good at a size 4, but I'm still very out of shape, in general. So, as I "tone up", I will inadvertantly lose a few pounds. I have learned not to put too much emphasis on my weight or size. At the point that I feel "in shape", there's always someone who thinks I'm "too thin". As a result of this, I don't usually tell people what I weigh or what size I am.

I am grateful to have found this forum where we can all share, no matter what our situation. The hard part for me has always been talking about my goals and practices with my friends. In-shape people are generally more supportive of other thin people in their efforts to get in shape. Heavier people tend to say things like "You don't need to lose ANY weight, you're already so small." ... It's hard to respond to something like that without sounding shallow. I don't care if I'm "smaller" -- I want to be stronger and more fit. There is a difference.

I have a long history of "working on it" when it comes to my weight. At age 19 I was severely under weight. Within a year I gained 45 pounds and stayed there until I was almost 30 years old. I have since yo-yo'd between 135 and 115. As I am only 5'3", those 20 pounds can mean a difference of 6 jeans sizes, up or down.

So, now I'm in a relationship with someone who has always been very fit. He's not "as" fit now as he was a couple years ago, but he's still sexy as hell to me. We both put quite an emphasis on body image and I know it is important to both of us to stay in decent shape. So many couples "let themselves go" ... that will never be us.

As we hit the year mark in our relationship, I was just getting to that point with my weight where I knew it was time to hit the treadmill again. Regularly. And quit pigging out. GEEZ... I had been in the best shape EVER when we first got together, and then slowly, it all went away. The nights of working out at home after work and having a salad and brocolli for dinner were replaced with meeting him for enchiladas at Avila's and playing darts or movie nights with ice cream sandwiches. And then we moved in together. And then the big meals and the yummy desserts happened. And the after work plans with friends or movie nights or what ever the heck else... everything other than going to the gym. You know how that goes...

The "me time" I used to have turned into US time. Which I LOVE... but I sacrificed myself without realizing it. So I found myself at the front end of beginning the process of working up to getting back on track, but never quite finding the best way or the time to make a routine stick. Then one day he simply said, "That's your personal time. When you get off work, take that *time* to work out, like you used to. We'll have US time after you're done."

(pause ... thinking ...)

That was a revelation! I could take ME TIME ... and THEN cook and eat and relax and watch movies. And I could even have dessert, once in a while. But HE had to put it out there... He reminded me that the person he fell in love with was the one who took time for herself and took care of herself and was happy and sexy and proud. I had lost sight of that version of me, just for a little while. But now I'm back, and I'm thankful that he notices.

I now work out, at home with a 25 minute DVD, 4-6 times per week, right after work or a while after dinner (whichever works best depending on the day), mid-morning on weekends. I sometimes walk on my lunch hour. I use this site to track my calories and I have not once yet totally blown it. I was under my calorie goal one day after dinner, so I had a bag of gummy bears. LOL ... that was my one cheat day so far in 3 weeks. He has not once *****ed at the time I need to take to do my workout, or at the fact that I alter my dinner choices from what I cook for him (I do not subject him to what I'm eating... all hell would break loose). He has been very supportive and that is amazing. I appreciate him every day.

To all the ladies out there, who do not have the support of their significant other ... I say, do it for yourself. Find support in freinds with similar goals, or in family. He should love you no matter what. He might love you even more when he sees the person you become, when you're happy and healthy and feeling good.

Best wishes to everyone.