Know what I really hate?

kennethmgreen

Getting poked in the eye with a sharp stick.

ilookthetype

*puts stick down* I think I have the wrong address.

Pollywog39

My Mom always said that would happen.......................

CaptainGordo

Cottage cheese in my eye.

Thomasm198

Getting poked in the eye with a sharp stick.

taso42

The stick is just jealous and/or trying to sabotage you.

engineman312

The stick is just jealous and/or trying to sabotage you.

agreed. it is a hater.

Pocket_Pixi

What if I used my etching pen instead of the stick?

Pollywog39

YOU'LL POKE YER EYE OUT!

killagb

Totally reminds me of this skit from old school SNL:

Frankie: Hey, Willie.

Willie: Hi, Frankie.

Frankie: How's the west wing?

Willie: All secure.

Frankie: That's good.

Willie: You know somethin', Frank?

Frankie: What?

Willie: I - I - I don't like bein' a night watchman. There - there's nobody here.

Frankie: It means we're doin' our job, Willie. And doin' it well.

Willie: Yeah, but I - I - I - I - I liked it better when we - when we was messengers, I mean, and then I - I was out - I was meetin' people.

Frankie: Like that woman over at Scheidelman's Suits, right?

Willie: [reluctantly] I dropped her. Yeah, she was all over me. All over me, she was. I - I - I need room to breathe.

Frankie: I know, Willie. The stallion needs to run. [Willie nods solemnly in agreement] And run free.

Willie: [rubs his shoulder in pain] Shoo, boy.

Frankie: What's the matter?

Willie: Eh, my shoulder hurts. You know - you know that narrow hallway in the boiler room? The one with the, uh--?

Frankie: Exposed bolts comin' out o' the wall?

Willie: Yeah. Well, every time I walk past it, the bolts dig right into my shoulder. I-- It's very painful.

Frankie: Boy. You wanna talk about some pain? I bought one o' them linoleum knives the other day, you know?

Willie: With the double edge?

Frankie: Right.

Willie: Yeah?

Frankie: So, I go home, you know, and I spread my toes apart and I just start sawing, back and forth and back and forth, you know?

Willie: Mm hmm.

Frankie: And I take a little thing o' Tobasco sauce, you know?

Willie: Yeah.

Frankie: And just dump it on there. Talk about a hotfoot, mister! Boy, that was rough.

Willie: Yeah, I know what you mean. You know, the other day, I took one o' them, uh--?

Frankie: Meat thermometers?

Willie: Yeah! And I just shoved it into my ear, you know? As far as it could go, you know? But then I took one o' them, uh--?

Frankie: Ball-peen hammers?

Willie: Right. And just whacked it a few times right in there, you know.

Frankie: Boy, that must smart.

Willie: I know! I HATE when THAT happens.

Frankie: You know what I hate?

Willie: What?

Frankie: I go into the kitchen, I open the drawer, you know?

Willie: Uh huh?

Frankie: And I take out a, uh--

Willie: Carrot scraper?

Frankie: Right. And I stick it up my nose, you know, and I'm rootin' it around, and, you know, gettin' all the mucus membranes out o' there, you know? And then I take one o' them, uh--?

Willie: Mentholated eucalyptus cough drops?

Frankie: Right. And I stick it-- wedge it up there, you know? I take a couple o' whiffs, boy. Heh, ya feel like your head's gonna explode.

Willie: Boy, isn't THAT the truth? It's like the other night. I'm in the attic and I got a bunch o' mousetraps, ya know?

Frankie: Right.

Willie: And, for bait, I used a big piece of, uh--

Frankie: Camembert?

Willie: Right. So, so I set the trap, right? A-a-a-a-and I wanna see if the trap was gonna work, right? So I got the Camembert in there.

Frankie: Right.

Willie: But every time I went to taste the cheese, the thing came down right on my tongue! ... I'm tellin' ya -- after forty, fifty times, I - I - I couldn't even feel the cheese, much less taste it. I hate when THAT happens, I'll tell ya that.

Frankie: Boy, you know what I hate? I hate-- I got a gross o' them, uh--?

Willie: Razor blades?

Frankie: No.

Willie: Fish hooks?

Frankie: No.

Willie: Ah?

Frankie: Thumb tacks.

Willie: Ah! Yeah.

Frankie: Right?

Willie: Yeah.

Frankie: So I bring 'em home, you know, and I sprinkle 'em all out over the floor, you know?

Willie: Points up?

Frankie: Right.

Willie: Uh huh.

Frankie: Then I strip down to the nude and I just ROLL back and forth across the room, ya know? Stickin' in all over my body. Then I jump in a hot tub and just soak.

Willie: Mm hmm.

Frankie: Hate that.

Willie: Sounds very painful.

Frankie: Very painful.

Willie: [heavy sigh] Boy. So what're ya gonna do now?

Frankie: Eh, I'm gonna check fifteen.

Willie: Yeah. I'm gonna check nine.

Frankie: Okay.

[They head back up the hall, testing doorknobs as they go. Finally, they pause to give each other a friendly pat on the shoulder.]

Frankie: Good night, Willie!

TDGee

I hate being attacked by a man wielding fresh fruit.

IronmanPanda

You wouldn't happen to have brown eyes...
I imagine that would be uncomfortable.

Pocket_Pixi

Totally reminds me of this skit from old school SNL:

Frankie: Hey, Willie.

Willie: Hi, Frankie.

Frankie: How's the west wing?

Willie: All secure.

Frankie: That's good.

Willie: You know somethin', Frank?

Frankie: What?

Willie: I - I - I don't like bein' a night watchman. There - there's nobody here.

Frankie: It means we're doin' our job, Willie. And doin' it well.

Willie: Yeah, but I - I - I - I - I liked it better when we - when we was messengers, I mean, and then I - I was out - I was meetin' people.

Frankie: Like that woman over at Scheidelman's Suits, right?

Willie: [reluctantly] I dropped her. Yeah, she was all over me. All over me, she was. I - I - I need room to breathe.

Frankie: I know, Willie. The stallion needs to run. [Willie nods solemnly in agreement] And run free.

Willie: [rubs his shoulder in pain] Shoo, boy.

Frankie: What's the matter?

Willie: Eh, my shoulder hurts. You know - you know that narrow hallway in the boiler room? The one with the, uh--?

Frankie: Exposed bolts comin' out o' the wall?

Willie: Yeah. Well, every time I walk past it, the bolts dig right into my shoulder. I-- It's very painful.

Frankie: Boy. You wanna talk about some pain? I bought one o' them linoleum knives the other day, you know?

Willie: With the double edge?

Frankie: Right.

Willie: Yeah?

Frankie: So, I go home, you know, and I spread my toes apart and I just start sawing, back and forth and back and forth, you know?

Willie: Mm hmm.

Frankie: And I take a little thing o' Tobasco sauce, you know?

Willie: Yeah.

Frankie: And just dump it on there. Talk about a hotfoot, mister! Boy, that was rough.

Willie: Yeah, I know what you mean. You know, the other day, I took one o' them, uh--?

Frankie: Meat thermometers?

Willie: Yeah! And I just shoved it into my ear, you know? As far as it could go, you know? But then I took one o' them, uh--?

Frankie: Ball-peen hammers?

Willie: Right. And just whacked it a few times right in there, you know.

Frankie: Boy, that must smart.

Willie: I know! I HATE when THAT happens.

Frankie: You know what I hate?

Willie: What?

Frankie: I go into the kitchen, I open the drawer, you know?

Willie: Uh huh?

Frankie: And I take out a, uh--

Willie: Carrot scraper?

Frankie: Right. And I stick it up my nose, you know, and I'm rootin' it around, and, you know, gettin' all the mucus membranes out o' there, you know? And then I take one o' them, uh--?

Willie: Mentholated eucalyptus cough drops?

Frankie: Right. And I stick it-- wedge it up there, you know? I take a couple o' whiffs, boy. Heh, ya feel like your head's gonna explode.

Willie: Boy, isn't THAT the truth? It's like the other night. I'm in the attic and I got a bunch o' mousetraps, ya know?

Frankie: Right.

Willie: And, for bait, I used a big piece of, uh--

Frankie: Camembert?

Willie: Right. So, so I set the trap, right? A-a-a-a-and I wanna see if the trap was gonna work, right? So I got the Camembert in there.

Frankie: Right.

Willie: But every time I went to taste the cheese, the thing came down right on my tongue! ... I'm tellin' ya -- after forty, fifty times, I - I - I couldn't even feel the cheese, much less taste it. I hate when THAT happens, I'll tell ya that.

Frankie: Boy, you know what I hate? I hate-- I got a gross o' them, uh--?

Willie: Razor blades?

Frankie: No.

Willie: Fish hooks?

Frankie: No.

Willie: Ah?

Frankie: Thumb tacks.

Willie: Ah! Yeah.

Frankie: Right?

Willie: Yeah.

Frankie: So I bring 'em home, you know, and I sprinkle 'em all out over the floor, you know?

Willie: Points up?

Frankie: Right.

Willie: Uh huh.

Frankie: Then I strip down to the nude and I just ROLL back and forth across the room, ya know? Stickin' in all over my body. Then I jump in a hot tub and just soak.

Willie: Mm hmm.

Frankie: Hate that.

Willie: Sounds very painful.

Frankie: Very painful.

Willie: [heavy sigh] Boy. So what're ya gonna do now?

Frankie: Eh, I'm gonna check fifteen.

Willie: Yeah. I'm gonna check nine.

Frankie: Okay.

[They head back up the hall, testing doorknobs as they go. Finally, they pause to give each other a friendly pat on the shoulder.]

Frankie: Good night, Willie!

haha totally forgot about this skit.

engineman312

mattquit, for someone that claims not to understand english well in other posts, you do know internet jargon pretty good.

CountryDevil

Totally reminds me of this skit from old school SNL:

Frankie: Hey, Willie.

Willie: Hi, Frankie.

Frankie: How's the west wing?

Willie: All secure.

Frankie: That's good.

Willie: You know somethin', Frank?

Frankie: What?

Willie: I - I - I don't like bein' a night watchman. There - there's nobody here.

Frankie: It means we're doin' our job, Willie. And doin' it well.

Willie: Yeah, but I - I - I - I - I liked it better when we - when we was messengers, I mean, and then I - I was out - I was meetin' people.

................

I was about to post the exact same thing.

Here is the YouTube's ... http://youtu.be/U1N01V73IAc

CaptainGordo

Totally reminds me of this skit from old school SNL:

Frankie: Hey, Willie.

Willie: Hi, Frankie.

Frankie: How's the west wing?

Willie: All secure.

Frankie: That's good.

Willie: You know somethin', Frank?

Frankie: What?

Willie: I - I - I don't like bein' a night watchman. There - there's nobody here.

Frankie: It means we're doin' our job, Willie. And doin' it well.

Willie: Yeah, but I - I - I - I - I liked it better when we - when we was messengers, I mean, and then I - I was out - I was meetin' people.

................

And that reminded me of a sketch from 1990, with Tom Hanks.

The Gross-Out Family: A family sits down to dinner but when the father (Hanks) drinks some rancid milk, the rest of the family (Hooks, Sweeney, Myers) tastes it anyway just to be sure. This continues several more times with leftover fish, feeling Kevin's (Farley) sweat, sitting on a nail, smelling foul kitty litter and throwing themselves down the stairs.

http://tviv.org/Saturday_Night_Live/Tom_Hanks/Edie_Brickell_and_New_Bohemians

TDGee

Sometimes I will poke random sticks into the ground. I call them sundials.

mattquit

mattquit, for someone that claims not to understand english well in other posts, you do know internet jargon pretty good.

i don't think i've ever claimed that i can't understand english well. I have only said that i can't speak or type english well, it's harder to translate. anyways, even if i didn't understand english properly it would be easy to know tl;dr since it's on a lot of comic humour sites.

CaptainGordo

mattquit, for someone that claims not to understand english well in other posts, you do know internet jargon pretty good.

i don't think i've ever claimed that i can't understand english well. I have only said that i can't speak or type english well, it's harder to translate. anyways, even if i didn't understand english properly it would be easy to know tl;dr since it's on a lot of comic humour sites.

[/quote]

It really helped sorry for my stupid replies its because i was just sad and i'm not very fluent in english

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/419516-stupid

mattquit

mattquit, for someone that claims not to understand english well in other posts, you do know internet jargon pretty good.

i don't think i've ever claimed that i can't understand english well. I have only said that i can't speak or type english well, it's harder to translate. anyways, even if i didn't understand english properly it would be easy to know tl;dr since it's on a lot of comic humour sites.

It really helped sorry for my stupid replies its because i was just sad and i'm not very fluent in english

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/419516-stupid

[/quote]

ya i know so? my understanding of fluent is speaking, not understanding. it's easy to understand a language but its hard to fluently speak it. i'm sorry. y do i even bother? sorry i won't post on public boards anymore

czechsmate

Getting poked in the eye with a sharp stick.

anything is better than getting poked in the eye with sharp stick!

CaptainGordo

ya i know so? my understanding of fluent is speaking, not understanding. it's easy to understand a language but its hard to fluently speak it. i'm sorry. y do i even bother? sorry i won't post on public boards anymore

Not a problem, dude. Just pointing out why one would be under the impression -- you did mention it once. Relax.

czechsmate

You wouldn't happen to have brown eyes...
I imagine that would be uncomfortable.

My Dad always told me I had brown eyes because I was full of *kitten* :noway:

MisterDubs303

Anyone ever splash toothpaste in their eye?
I'll take the jalapeño juice please.

wellbert

Taking an arrow to the knee.