I didnt fall off the wagon.....I JUMPED OFF!!!!!

latinqueencee
latinqueencee Posts: 120 Member
It all started this morning....I KNEW I had no business weighing myself today, however, I didnt feel like myself, I felt heavier, I really did. I KNEW it was TOM, I KNEW it wouldnt be good. Wadda ya know? 3.2 pounds heavier!!! No big deal, I said to myself, you'll be fine by Sunday, but it just kept gnawing at me and gnawing at me. I was not happy. So what do I do? I start eating some darn cookies, it went from 1 to like 10 in 3 seconds flat!!! Then my mother calls me and gives me some rather disturbing news about my daughter, who's married, lives out of state, and is going through some marital issues. Let me explain, my daughter and I dont have the best relationship, I love her immensely but she's my problem child....23 years old, with a child and acts more infantile than my 10 year old!! But I digress......back to me and my whining.....so with this news, I felt so out of control, so angry, hurt, sad, disappointed....what do I do? I go for a drive and end up at a McDonald's drive-thru, and without any hesitation, ordered a Big Mac Value meal...and I ate it ALL....burger, fries and drank the soda!!!! While eating it my thought was "OMG, I'm in heaven" a few minutes later and it was all gone!!! My thought then was " what have I done". My first impulse was to stick my finger down my throat and just bring it all back up but......I dont like throwing up....EWWWW! So now I'm stuck feeling like a dirtbag greedy heffer with absolutely no self-control. Sure tomorrow is another day....sure I can start over, but I shouldnt be at this point. I shouldve had some self control and talked myself out of such stupidity, so what does this mean? That whenever I have disappointments in my life, I'll turn to junk food and ruin all of the hardwork I've put in? Nothing I do tonight will correct what I've done but I CAN change it around and find the strength to get back on this wagon and hold on tight!!......Here I go, wish me luck!!

Replies

  • KendraElmendorf
    KendraElmendorf Posts: 837 Member
    Lot's of Luck! You can do it. I've caught myself doing the same thing... kind of like a flying leap
  • Wow reading this stressed me out. I feel your pain sweetie just hang in there. You will be just fine. xoxo hugs
  • Stefanie7125
    Stefanie7125 Posts: 462 Member
    must be in the air, I did the same, but my food of choice was KFC. I even commented on my status that " I didn't fall off the wagon, I jumped off and ran the other direction" lol, great minds....It's alright, tomorrow is a new day. We will do MUCH, MUCH better tomorrow!!!
  • treesloth
    treesloth Posts: 162 Member
    No question. You can do it. You've identified the triggers. You know the temptations. You know what to expect from the impulses you want to control. You're set to do it. Good luck, although I don't think you'll need it, considering how well you've understood what's going on.
  • Iamkim73
    Iamkim73 Posts: 924 Member
    No one is perfect. Don't look at it as if you jumped off and fell to the ground, think of it as if you were bungie jumping.
  • WonderKP
    WonderKP Posts: 146 Member
    you CAN work to fix it tonight. Go for a walk, or do a circuit training program at home for 30 mins or an hour. McD's has a lot of protein usually in their meals, so take advantage of that and pump some weights! It'll also relieve your stress. :)
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Each day is a new day. What you eat today won't matter tomorrow! Maybe do a little exercise tonight to work it off, but other than that, don't worry too much!
  • JoDeeD
    JoDeeD Posts: 391
    Lots of luck. You just started your journey, you should expect some bumps in the road. Tomorrow is a new day and you have the power to make the difference. I know this just sounds like words, but I really believe it. It takes at least 3 weeks to break a habit. I have been learning self control during my journey. I am almost at 100 days in and have had several bumps but they are getting fewer. I have decreased my pure sugar input so much that when I did have some on Wednesday (a piece of cake and a couple cups of sweet tea) my intestines rebelled and I embarrassed myself. I see that as a victory in my journey. Because of that I actually lost weight :) Good luck again. I know you can get back on the wagon.
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
    Hope you didn't hurt your leg.
  • kymarai
    kymarai Posts: 3,702 Member
    This is a long journey. You start with finding a supportive group to help you through, your identify your down falls, (mine are boredom and cookies!), and you learn from mistakes. You can't change yesterday, you can only work on today! Don't beat yourself up too badly, we are here to help.

    A few minutes either walking or even marching in place, might make you feel better.
  • Shaneekwa
    Shaneekwa Posts: 130 Member
    Wishing you the best of luck. I also eat (for absolutely no reaon) when I'm stressed which is totally horrible because I really don't be hungry...I do it just to be doing...never good. But don't beat yourself up about it. We all go through it...some worst than others. You realized your mistake and moving on from it. You can't change the mistakes of today...Tomorrow is a new day
  • BobbyClerici
    BobbyClerici Posts: 813 Member
    .....Here I go, wish me luck!!

    In life, we make our own luck; success is a choice.

    You can do this if reaching your goals become more of a priority than the fleeting pleasures of glutting the drive-thu at McD. :sick:

    It's a battle, and I've failed too, and so we learn to gather our energies, get centered and charge ahead toward the prize.

    ALL IS POSSIBLE!
  • jtmh2012
    jtmh2012 Posts: 32 Member
    Sure tomorrow is another day....sure I can start over, but I shouldnt be at this point. I shouldve had some self control and talked myself out of such stupidity, so what does this mean?

    Been there, done that many many many times over. Last Saturday I was 233.2 lbs. I'm hovering around 240 again. The church had a going away lunch, then a coworker left so another going away lunch, plus it was anniversary week for the fiancée and I so another dinner out. On top of that, I made two cookie sundaes this week.

    So now I start again. I'm tired of losing the same weight over and over again. :(
  • stevwil41
    stevwil41 Posts: 608 Member
    It sounds like you've got more to worry about right now than a bad food day. We all have them. The trick is to pick yourself up and get right back at it tomorrow. I let a couple of bad days send me into a tailspin that lasted for something like 7 years and 75 lbs. Don't do that. That's bad:)

    We're all going to slip up. My slip up today was a double doozie from The Great American Cookie Company. 630 calories in one fell swoop. I walked past the place 3 times before I gave in and then I could have had a single cookie but instead I had 2 with a bunch of fluffy icing in between. My small victory (or so I keep telling myself) is that I got the regular one rather than the giant version.

    Anyway, drink plenty of water and don't weigh yourself for a few days. Maybe do some extra exercise for a day or two. Good luck and try to stay positive. These little setbacks can only defeat us if we allow them:)
  • latinqueencee
    latinqueencee Posts: 120 Member
    thank you everyone for all of your kind words of encouragement. I greatly appreciate you all taking the time to respond. I'm not a failure, I just messed up pretty bad ((hugs))
  • Man I know exactly how you feel except my weapon of choice was/ always is ice cream. Just remember you are only human and this one little hurdle only proves that. You're not bad or wrong and you certainly haven't failed. Breakdowns can be exciting if you view them as an opportunity to breakthrough. I mean like if you look at it e right way, the only way you can go now is up and you have so much to fuel you both physically and emotionally.... Does that make sense?
    I'm in exactly the same position today. Good luck!!! Xoxo
  • jul21r
    jul21r Posts: 34
    Just know you are NOT alone! I am struggling with the same eating issue but will continue on this journey. It took me 9 years to gain all this weight and I recognize it will take me a while to loss it. Good Luck!
  • MikeInAZ
    MikeInAZ Posts: 483 Member
    Go for a 6 mile jog tomorrow (a 10K)
  • latinqueencee
    latinqueencee Posts: 120 Member
    a 10K????? I'm only on week 5 of C25k, no where near ready for a 10k...lol
  • ingfit
    ingfit Posts: 180 Member
    I've done the same thing this week so I totally relate to what you are experiencing. Most of us here have been there too. But I refuse to beat myself up over it and you should too. Be kind to yourself and it will pass. And I truely believe having this website and all these wonderful people here who will listen, comfort and give sound advice is a blessing. It has helped me get back up every time I fall down, every time the scale shows a gain, every time the cravings hit, every time something ****ty happens in my life and I want to binge on unhealthy foods. You will succeed this time. One day at a time as long as you learn to let go of the dissappointments and your "failures" and look at each new day as a new beginning to be the best version of yourself. At least for that day.
  • rugbyphreak
    rugbyphreak Posts: 509 Member
    EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE!!! you can do this! all of these people are behind you, rooting for you, and here to catch you when you fall. stay positive and start over. don't let a value meal keep you down!
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