why it's so easy to lose focus

skinz2k2

I found this quote tempting to believe, except it's not realistic. "My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me."
Benjamin Disraeli

My attitude is primary in what what haapens in my life. Having said that, I find sometimes in life our greatest saboteurs are the ones we would hope would be honest with us (be it family, close friends, etc.) but this is usually not the case. Yet for the sake of being nice and not wanting to hurt our feelings people will say nothing, and sometimes even gossip about our circumstances. I remember over the few years when I gained all the weight I'm working off now, no one said you know Jerome I'm concerned about your health and I'm here to support you in getting healthy. Most people probably think that's mean or it's no ones business to say that to me. At the other end is the critical attitude. I remember someone said to me "wow, you've gained so much weight, what happened to you?" Embarassed I laughed it off but was deeply hurt because there was no offer of support with the criticism. But I am learning that true friendship entails being completely honest and being supportive with kindness. I suspect that most people who are on this site for its purpose have found it much easier to stayed focused because of the positive encouragement and empathetic response we get (ironically) from almost complete strangers. I've realized sometimes that's what it takes for me to change my thought process. So Disraeli's quote above should be amended, to
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who is open and honest with me in a way that I know they care.

Thanks MFP,
Jerome

Helloitsdan

Add me!
I was in the same boat about 211 days ago.
I went from a size 30 jean to size 36+.
People who worked with me didnt say much but when old friends visit I now get the "Holy **** Dan!!! You look great!"
But alas...i'm like the DeathStar!

A work in progress!

shoshi68

Ah. This is so true. It has become the elephant in the room, a person's weight, if you will pardon the expression. We can't point out someone's weight, and therefore we can't talk about it. I am a health care provider, and in my work, I use myself as an example, pointing out how not addressing the problem does not help.

I have come to understand that in our society, overweight and obesity is this awful, terrible thing, yet though it is widespread, no one talks about it in any helpful way.

I find it is helpful to acknowledge that people are beautiful at any size, and once having acknowledged their beauty and worth, explain how they can value themselves and start to get healthy.

It will be a long road back for each and every one of us to get healthy, to value our worth, and get fit. I imagine so much must change in society as a whole to reverse the epidemic of obesity and its associated diseases in western society.