When you realize it may not be entirely your fault

briblue72

Since food addiction has been clumped with other addictions on MFP, I was thinking of this differently.

Many people get their first sip of beer from their dads. Should they use that to continue drinking heavily way into adulthood?

Many people are molested as children. Will their future sex victims take it as a good reason for their current crimes?

Many people were spanked or abused in their past. Does that give them the right to continue the cycle?

No. We all have our pasts/histories that have helped us become the people we are now.
When I was 10, my neighbor and I stole cigarettes out of her dad's car and smoked for the first time. I quit 2 years ago, but I don't think I'd even think of her if I were diagnosed with lung cancer down the road.

Take what you know, store it in your heart and brain, and work hard at bettering your life! We're all rooting for you!

Fitness_Chick

Since food addiction has been clumped with other addictions on MFP, I was thinking of this differently.

Many people get their first sip of beer from their dads. Should they use that to continue drinking heavily way into adulthood?

Many people are molested as children. Will their future sex victims take it as a good reason for their current crimes?

Many people were spanked or abused in their past. Does that give them the right to continue the cycle?

No. We all have our pasts/histories that have helped us become the people we are now.
When I was 10, my neighbor and I stole cigarettes out of her dad's car and smoked for the first time. I quit 2 years ago, but I don't think I'd even think of her if I were diagnosed with lung cancer down the road.

Take what you know, store it in your heart and brain, and work hard at bettering your life! We're all rooting for you!

Nicely Put M'Dear:bigsmile:

Fitness_Chick

I quite agree FC. I've been here a couple of weeks now and whilst I've had great support, I've also noticed great divides. There are so many people her, from so many walks of life, our views are bound to differ. So long as we can be civil and even friendly to one another, surely we should welcome this different views? If you take someone's advice, great. If not, also great. It's all about your own journey. I think there are three problems: 1. As I said, there are multiple differing opinions on the boards. 2. What is posted online cannot always be read in the way it was intended. 3. We're placing our bodies under a change. I'm grouchy as a result of a lack of caffiene and I can't comfort eat anymore- I'm sure I'm not the only one a little touchy as a result of a major unheaval to my diet. We're all in this together and we need to stop fighting and start supporting one another, and accepting that the support may be more like that teacher in school who pushed you had and you sometimes disliked because of it, but you got your A. Rather than the teacher who let you make excuses for homework and you always liked- until you got a poor grade!

WOWZA...Rose you get IT!! Only a few weeks here and YOU GET IT GIRL!!!:happy: Great post Chick!! Great Post!

Bringing in the special jeweled butterfly for you Hon


Oh yea and to add to the sugar, caffeine withdrawels add the chicks all going thru PMS many at the same time...:ohwell: :sad: :laugh: :laugh: Add all that up with no faces only words it can be confusing at times how something is meant.:drinker:

FC

FC,

I just have to say, You rock my socks off!:bigsmile: :drinker:

Every post is inspirational but REAL, and obviously you have come a very long way in your journey and are making the world a better place.

Thanks Michelle what a very cool compliment:drinker: :happy:

mgullette

Since food addiction has been clumped with other addictions on MFP, I was thinking of this differently.

Many people get their first sip of beer from their dads. Should they use that to continue drinking heavily way into adulthood?

Many people are molested as children. Will their future sex victims take it as a good reason for their current crimes?

Many people were spanked or abused in their past. Does that give them the right to continue the cycle?

No. We all have our pasts/histories that have helped us become the people we are now.
When I was 10, my neighbor and I stole cigarettes out of her dad's car and smoked for the first time. I quit 2 years ago, but I don't think I'd even think of her if I were diagnosed with lung cancer down the road.

Take what you know, store it in your heart and brain, and work hard at bettering your life! We're all rooting for you!

I was thinking the exact same thing briblue72. Many people have overcome negative pasts, so we know it can be done.

stef_e_b

My mum says its my dad's fault because from such a young age (3) he told me I better not eat too much or I'll end up fat like my mommy. he would measure me weekly and listen outside the bathroom door to make sure I wasn't "cheating" ie vomiting up the giant meal I had eaten. My dad obvously believed that my weight problems (which I didn't have until highschool) was because my mother wouldn't make me work out.

I think everyone tries their best for their children, and screws them up in special and individual ways. Adolensence is when we try to figure out what we think is right despite which paths our parents have lead us down. Life is all about screwing up and trying again. How else do we learn who we are?

mgullette

My mum says its my dad's fault because from such a young age (3) he told me I better not eat too much or I'll end up fat like my mommy. he would measure me weekly and listen outside the bathroom door to make sure I wasn't "cheating" ie vomiting up the giant meal I had eaten. My dad obvously believed that my weight problems (which I didn't have until highschool) was because my mother wouldn't make me work out.

I think everyone tries their best for their children, and screws them up in special and individual ways. Adolensence is when we try to figure out what we think is right despite which paths our parents have lead us down. Life is all about screwing up and trying again. How else do we learn who we are?

Stef_e_b,

I think that at some point, we've all had someone in our lives who probably influenced us down a path that wasn' t optimal for our health, our lifestyles, or our goals, but many of us were able to overcome them some way or another. Your dad's obsession with making sure you didn't get fat were his attempts to make sure he raised a healthy child, however misled they were.

As for parents screwing up their children, I have to disagree. We all learn at a young age that our parents are not, after all, invincible, and that they're human and make mistakes too. I think that we can CHOOSE to use our parents shortcomings as a crutch, or we can take what we learned from it and do what's best for us, whether it was their way or not.

I have a 14 year old brother who probably falls into the morbidly obese category, and while he is young, he still has the capability to know what's right and what's wrong, and he has the personal power to make his own decisions to get healthy. I can't wait for the day that he decides it's his moment to dig deep, reach higher, and do this for himself, his family, and his future. Until then, I can only try to do my best and lead by a healthy example.

TudorRose

I quite agree FC. I've been here a couple of weeks now and whilst I've had great support, I've also noticed great divides. There are so many people her, from so many walks of life, our views are bound to differ. So long as we can be civil and even friendly to one another, surely we should welcome this different views? If you take someone's advice, great. If not, also great. It's all about your own journey. I think there are three problems: 1. As I said, there are multiple differing opinions on the boards. 2. What is posted online cannot always be read in the way it was intended. 3. We're placing our bodies under a change. I'm grouchy as a result of a lack of caffiene and I can't comfort eat anymore- I'm sure I'm not the only one a little touchy as a result of a major unheaval to my diet. We're all in this together and we need to stop fighting and start supporting one another, and accepting that the support may be more like that teacher in school who pushed you had and you sometimes disliked because of it, but you got your A. Rather than the teacher who let you make excuses for homework and you always liked- until you got a poor grade!

WOWZA...Rose you get IT!! Only a few weeks here and YOU GET IT GIRL!!!:happy: Great post Chick!! Great Post!

Bringing in the special jeweled butterfly for you Hon


Oh yea and to add to the sugar, caffeine withdrawels add the chicks all going thru PMS many at the same time...:ohwell: :sad: :laugh: :laugh: Add all that up with no faces only words it can be confusing at times how something is meant.:drinker:

FC

Oh wow! A jewlled butterfly! For me? You just made my day FC, thank you :bigsmile:

Umeboshi

There are a ton of factors that caused my obesity now...

First, when I was very young (kindergarten and a couple grades beyond that) I would have two dinners. My grandma would feed me at around 5:00 and then when my parents got home around 8:00 or so, I would have dinner with them.
Next, when I went to day care for a few years my parents would send me whatever I wanted. Aka, spaghettios, lunchables, etc. My dad would pack my lunch for school, too, which generally included cookies or chocolates along with my sandwich and etc.
At dinners, I would always get seconds. I was often offered or just given seconds at every meal. I modelled my portions after my father who is a runner. If you know runners, they eat a LOT.

These factors so far put me at 5'2" and 170 pounds entering freshman year. I was chubby but not super-obese.
Unfortunately, my dad for years bashed into my head that I was SO fat, and forced me to exercise, etc. I ended up hating exercise even more and had extremely bad body image. The way my dad acted made me think and feel like I was more like 300 pounds.

This made me basically give up for a while. Combined with my chronic depression, that lead to binge-eating cookie dough and not caring at all about how much I ate or what I ate.
An abusive boyfriend further destroyed my self-esteem and since my parents rarely provided food at home, and I was out with him quite a lot, I ended up relying on fast food.

4 years later, I'm 270 pounds, and trying to fix all of this. :sad:

I'm a foodie and an emotional eater too, so after 3 weeks, unfortunately I'm pretty much right where I started. I go over on calories for a day or two, go back to dieting, and etc... SO discouraging when the scale shows I lost a couple pounds, then i gain it all back. It's going to be a long road...