No support w/the family

BrittanyLynne21

I'm so frustrated because I'm trying so hard to lose weight and my family doesn't support me at all or take health serious. My dad is a diabetic my mom is a predictable with high blood pressure, high cholesterol they both take 5-10 pills a day and my sister is also a predict as well. The doctor said we all need to lose weight and get healthy and that if my sister and mom lose weight they can fight the chances of become a diabetic. But none of them try. They all complain and wine but do nothing to try and change. I asked all of them to go to the gym tonight and they all said no for lame excuses to why not.It makes me so mad because I believe they can lose this weight and I want them to live a long happy life but they won't try. Its so frustrating to here them say they want this but won't workout or eat right. I try to help by making small changes but they won't even do that. I keep asking my mom to use pam spray to wipe the pan when making eggs and still to this day she puts 3 tablespoon of butter. Its so hard to lose weight here. Anyone else have any advice. I live at home so my mom buys the food and idk i'm so angry right now because I really wanted to go to zumba and I thought my family would go with me but now it's off...

andy2486

Keep asking them to go with you or maybe suggest taking a walk together around your neighborhood or maybe play frisbee or something at the park. Maybe have a sit down with your parents and tell them that you are doing this for your health and you would really like to do it with them or for them to at least support you. Everyone who is overweight knows that it is hard to lose the weight and that is probably why they dont want to do this. Its easier to go through the drive through than to cook some veggies and chicken. Or you can try writing a letter to them and explain how important it is to you to lose weight and why you want them to lose weight. Since your mom buys the food, maybe ask her if she wont buy the foods that you want maybe she will give you an allowance to buy the foods that you want or go with her and ask her to buy some things that you want to eat. Stay strong and let them know how you feel.

xMedullaOblongatax

That is such a lame situation. I'm sorry =(

I was in a similar situation: I lived in a house with 2 other roomates (one is my fiance) who are the biggest junk-food addicts I have EVER known. Everyday (and I do mean everyday), it's Pizza Hut, McDonald's, Applebee's, ice cream, hot dogs, Spangles, greasy greasy chinese food, and MORE Pizza Hut! They complained about being out of shape but never curbed their diet!

The one roomate moved out, now it's just me and my fiance. I am doing now what I am about to suggest to you:

LEAD BY EXAMPLE!

It has taken a little while, but eventually my fiance came around and is slowly starting to eat healthier. My bothering him about eating right and getting out for a walk NEVER worked... but when he saw my progress with weight loss, and saw that eating healthy can taste REALLY good, he has taken steps to reduce his soda intake and choose veggie-loaded foods over grease-loaded foods.

There is a large misconception among the people I know that eating healthy means eating "rabbit food": unappetizing vegetables and dubious soy-products in tiny quantities. SO not true! But that misconception is very difficult to shake when people want to hold to that kind of belief. Many people also have a large misconception that physical fitness is torturous, debilitating and overwhelmingly difficult work. Nothing could be further from the truth!

So, lead by example! When they start seeing your progress, and smelling how good healthy food can be, it will help in changing minds! When they see that taking small steps - like taking a 15 minute walk each day - is easy to do and makes a difference, then hopefully that will help bring them around!

Scorpioangel

I just love the part lead by example

cramernh

The only person you can control is yourself. Your family members need to take control for theirselves.... only your Mom can be responsible for Mom, Dad for dad, so on and so forth. When each individual family member is ready to tackle their own health problems, they will do so when they are willing to acknowledge that its time to get serious.. and at that point, by seeing you stay strong for yourself, they will then at that point go to you and ask for guidance.

If they dont want to go to the gym with you, that is their perogative and ultimately THEIR bad decision. Not yours.
If they dont want to eat healthy, that is their perogative and ultimately, again, THEIR bad decision.... Not yours either...

My mother is HORRIBLE. She has a pharmacy sitting on her dining room table of prescriptions, right next to her carton of cigarettes which never moves. The foods she makes are exactly the same foods that put her in the hospital for a heart attack and TWO strokes. She has often tried to convince me to come over for dinner, and Im not going over any time soon. Add the fact that she is a raging alcoholic brings me to the point of where I want nothing to do with her because despite the fact she KNOWS everything she is doing is wrong, but, she doesnt care.

My mother-in-law is just as HORRIBLE....
My step-father is INDEED HORRIBLE....
My sister is right up there with our mother....

Plain and simply put, I want nothing to do with them because I wont let them affect my weight-loss efforts. If they want to ruin their lives by not making the necessary changes that they all have been advised about... that is on them. I will have nothing to do with it.

And their poor choices will not be rubbed against me when I decline to have more food, or ANY of their foods that they prepare....

I actually ran into my mother at her job the other night while picking up some items. She had asked me if I planned on coming to dinner on Christmas... I was very honest with her and said "Mom, you know I prefer staying home and cooking dinner for my husband and I and we have no intention of travelling anywhere. We want to enjoy each other's company in the comforts of our own home"... she kept pushing the subject and tried us for dessert. I told her "Mom, we are not coming over - we already have made our plans well in advance and I intend to keep those plans"... she didnt like that I wouldnt bend.. but thats too bad. And, I really dont care.

JustLindaLou

Oh my dear I so hear you and share your frustration... My family lives over 2000 miles away so I am unable to lead by daily example, but I am so angry at times with the health issues my parents have and 90% of it could be prevented with healthy eating habits and some exercise. Almost lost my mom earlier this year due to complications from just STUPID stuff. 15+ medications a day. My sister lives there (they have 5 acres in NY and she lives on the property, not actually in the house), and she is SO fed up with trying to get them to change. I hope that by conquering my weight issues this year and having a significant loss to show when I see them this summer, will in some way motivate them to knock off the excuses. But if not, at least I know I am taking the steps I need to take to counteract the bad habits and genetics I am dealing with. I know how hard it is to live in a household with unhealthy eaters, and all I can say is, do the best you can!! YOU go get the workouts in, YOU measure your portions, YOU do whatever YOU can do to make better food choices for yourself. Even if you are not in a position right now to maybe eat the way you would like to eat, you can at least manage your portions and do your best to get the veggies, whole grains, and lean protein in there. Drink your water too - it helps the liver metabolize fat and you will need that to offset the butter LOL!! (My parents always, always have 2 lbs of butter in the cupboard at room temp for easy spreading... my Dad, the diabetic, butters frosted cookies... yeah that's the eating habits I grew up with!!). Stay tuned in to MFP for inspiration and support!! YOU CAN DO IT no matter what challenges are before you!!!! We are here when you need to vent, we are here to lift you up.

december8teen

I know how that feels. I usually live by myself since I'm studying in another country. Now that I'm back home for the holidays...guess who is trying to sabotage my meals. :grumble:

My dad has high blood pressure, mum has no sickness (thank God) but she's becoming overweight due to her love for food, and sister thinks I'm being "annoying" for wanting to eat healthy.

It's frustrating I know. So what I usually do is it to make my stand clear and do the best I can. When they insist of going to McDonald's, I order the burger without the tartar sauce and skip the fries.

I make adjustments to the best I can. Recently my parents have began to ask me whether if I'm ok to go to these places or not.

I guess as time goes by, and with perseverance, they can see our efforts of trying to eat better.

redheadmommy

I agree with the previous poster, everybody only responsible for themselves, except for under-age children of course.

I think the best way to put things to your own hand is offer to cook your own meal. Or better, you can offer to cook for the entire family once in a while.
It is a double win situation. Your mom will appreciate your help in the kitchen, and the same time, you will able to eat helthier and maybe make your family healthier too.

tegla

I'm proud of YOU, despite your family, YOU want to be healthy and work at it. You can do this, you can still totally do it, yes it will be hard, very hard and frustrating. But You are going to be stronger for it, inside and out... Do it, I'm totally pulling for you, we are here for you. There are so many people , even young people your age to group up with and get through this.

You are thinking of alternative ways to do this, you found MFP, you will find more ways. I wish you the best, you can totally do this!

aflane

While your intentions are good, unfortunately, you can't make others change their self-destructive behavior. All you can do, is change your own life and attitudes. No one wants to go to the gym with you, go without them. Your mom is cooking with lots of butter (btw, a little won't hurt you), cook for yourself. Lead by QUIET example.... don't lecture or scold, because they'll do the opposite. Take care of yourself properly, and they might just notice, and start to slowly change.

pinkgigi

Well I don't know why you didn't go to Zumba anyway?

I struggled with trying to force my mother into changing her life for years, and you know what, she is an adult woman who is responsible for her own life and has made her own choices, and she has to live with it. Unfortunately, that has led her to a very nasty place, but that is her choice, it is sad, but I couldn't do it for her (believe me I tried).

As you have made a decision to live a healthier life (bravo to you), you may have to go on that journey on your own. You will have to develop strategies that mean you can manage without support, but you know what it is worth it and you will fashion your own life in the way you chose, yay for you!!!

GG

og8997889

That’s the first step into acknowledging a big problem. It's almost all downhill from here besides a few speed bumps. I remember last new year’s is when I started wanting to lose weight and came across http://boyels.com . And now a year later I have 37 pounds lighter and have a 2 pack of abs showing lol. Anyways you took the first hard step now just remember to never give up and always push yourselves further than the day before and you will get there. Also remember while others are sleeping, we are running.