When family are bitter about your weight loss...

dointhis4me

I'm not sure if others out there have had this trouble... but it seems that there are certain people that would rather I keep my weight and nutrition accomplishments in the closet. At thanksgiving I received a boatload of compliments, my mother would simply purse her lips and walk away from the conversation. We had a talk over FB a few weeks back and she bemoaned the fact that she can't seem to lose weight... that "what I eat has nothing to do with my weight." I said I understood her medical conditions (diabetes, high blood pressure...) but that diet really is important. Then cited the fact that she has said that her DR. told her white starches such as rice and potatoes are deadly to her blood sugar... yet there she was eating a plate of nothing but mashed potatoes at Thnksgvn. She immediately got snide, sent me several windy paragraphs about how I should mind my own business, canceled the dinner the family had planned for the next night because "you'll be watching everything I put in my mouth"... and we didn't talk for weeks. Then when we did see each other again, my father made the mistake of complimenting my figure in front of her. She threw a fit and stated that we weren't discussing this.

These are MY victories. I don't shove them in people's faces. I don't trumpet my weight to anyone that will listen. But it's difficult when it seems I can't catch any slack. I mean seriously, is it wrong when you ask me what I want for x-mas and I say "gift cards to clothing stores because I've had to donate half my wardrobe"?

What are your experiences? How have you been a good example to your family and/or dealt with the negativity?

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dointhis4me

The only issues I've ever had were valid ones, I think, because of my....erm....disordered tendencies.

Been there, done that. I had back surgery and a three week hospital liquid diet that had me 50lbs lighter seemingly overnight. I was asked if I was a model, I won first runner up in a beauty pageant... and I started eating nothing on purpose. It took 10 years for the weight to come back but I'm bound and determined to take it off the healthy way this time.

UponThisRock

leannelately

Don't let your mom's reaction get you down. She is really struggling and it isn't fair, but she is taking it out on you. It's hard when you know what she should be doing and so does she, but she won't do it.

VeggieKelli

I grew up with the opposite problem with family; everyone is thin, and although I've typically been healthy, I am really short and built differently. My Dad started paying me to work out when I was 12, my current height of 5'2, and 125lbs. When I reached 140lbs it became "I'll pay you for every pound you lose". And so in my teen and until recently, it's been a real struggle. But now I'm doing it for myself and have forgiven him and just focusing on being healthy.

Family butting in is really difficult. It sounds like your Mom is really jealous and is hardcore living in denial. I don't know what else you can do other than say that you love her and hopes she talks to her doctor about it more-- sometimes hearing what's healthy from a doctor is more "valid" than hearing it from a friend or family member.

The only times I've begrudged someone's weight loss is where I suspected they weren't being healthy about it at all... a couple of times I learned later I was right and they had to seek help! It's amazing the difference you can see in someone who is losing weight in a healthy way vs. someone who isn't, both physical, mental and social differences.

ramonasowner

I am sorry you have to deal with that. First I'm proud of you, don't let that bull**** de-rail you.
Second I can sympathize: I got made fun of at thanksgiving for measuring my food. I am finally making progress and I get asked if I am eating enough from my mom.
Really I don't know why mothers and daughters do this. Its real, and it can be ugly. Try your hardest to look past it, if you can. I just refuse to give in to the *****ing pretending like I don't hear it.

MsTanya77

I actually had this same problem last year. My best friend and I had both gained a significant amount of weight and tried numerous diets and eating plans just to lose a few pounds and quit. She finally got serious and started losing weight and I became quite jealous of her weight loss. I was never mean to her and I never said anything, but inside I could feel myself becoming jealous of her success. It forced me to take my weight loss journey more seriously and I have lost 20 lbs since then. Maybe your mom will look at your weight loss as motivation now that she sees it can be done.

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