Body Dysmorphia

jwolfdh

Hi everyone... I just started MFP about 2 and a half weeks ago, and so far I am LOVING IT, but this is my first time going to these message boards and I wanted to talk about body dysmorphia. Again, this is my FIRST post, and it is very personal, so please be respectful and only reply if you have something productive to say!

I'm know I'm not the only one out there that feels the way I do, so I'm hoping to get some good feedback on this topic. I'm sure this problem isn't limited to ex-gymnasts, dancers, athletes, models, etc, but I think it affects us more because we're expected to look and perform in a particular way for so many years of our lives. I haven't been in the sport (gymnastics) for almost 8 years, but still feel that when I look in the mirror, there's SO much...almost hatred...for "letting myself go". I find so many flaws and even though I've been working out and losing a few lbs for almost a month now and admit I am starting to feel better about myself, I feel like I'll never really be able to look at myself and be satisfied...at least not until I think I'm at a place where I was last happy with my body...which was in a leotard 10 years ago. And I know that's SO unreasonable and unfair to put that pressure on myself. I was a teenager and early 20's then, and I'm pushing 30 now!!!

I know that there's degrees of severity of this problem, and I'm sure I'm pretty sure I'm at the lower end of it (thankfully, I have no eating disorders related to it like many others do), however, I know it's still a problem that I need to work through. I know I'm taking the first step not just by joining MFP, but also by admitting this to the world! I'm hoping there's others out there that have been through similar experiences and/or thought processes and can let me know what they've done to get past it. Thanks ahead of time and again, I'm new and would love to meet some new people and have a larger support system so please add me as a friend!