So upset!!

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Malani2010
Malani2010 Posts: 245
in Motivation and Support
Well I talked to my mom tonight which is the first time of Really talking in over a month. Anytime she wants a lengthy conversation is when she wants to gossip about my sister!!!! Well in the middle of all that I tried to tell her of my successes with losing 60 lbs and the new clothing sizes I was currently in. I said "Mom, I'm in a size 14!!" her response was "14 what?" I said "Pants size 14 and I wear a size medium shirt." she said " We will have to see about that" After that I my son opened my birthday present early and realized my grandparents got me a couple of nice shirts but are in XL. I told my mom that I was going to ask them if they can exchange them for a smaller size and she said "Well I'm coming over tomorrow so try it on in front of me so I can see"

With all that being said I hung up the phone and was really, really hurt because I am having the hardest time seeing my success and hubby has tried everything to get me to see it and then I have someone like my mom who doubts me. I don't wear clothes that show everything or clothes that are too tight!!!! Sorry guys I just needed to vent!
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Replies

  • Bellyroll
    Bellyroll Posts: 316
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    I would be mad to.
  • econut2000
    econut2000 Posts: 395 Member
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    You lost 60 lbs!!!! You wouldn't have lost that much if you hadn't done it for yourself, right? So celebrate it yourself -- don't let your mother get you down. You know what will happen if she gets to you.....you will put that weight right back on! Be kind to yourself and be proud. Sixty pounds is an awesome accomplishment :-)
  • edryer123
    edryer123 Posts: 502 Member
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    Oh hun, I'm so sorry to hear that. You are doing a wonderful job! 60lbs is a huge accomplishment! Especially as you are a parent. Just think how wonderful it will be when you get to get those medium tops! You are an inspiration!
  • BobbyClerici
    BobbyClerici Posts: 813 Member
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    Hear me - please.

    Family is NOT a good system of support.
    Don't even mention your weight loss, and when you get the gifts, be gracious and just exchange them.

    Expect to be let down by your family, and build your new system of support from like-minded people in the same boat.

    Good Luck!
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
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    Your weight loss so far is amazing. Don't listen to your Mom & don't let her make you self doubt.
    You are fantastic :flowerforyou:
  • LeeDahlen38
    LeeDahlen38 Posts: 119 Member
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    Sorry to be crass, but I would have called my mom back and said "Ya know, i Think I need more positive support on my successes these days" How bout you just stay home tomorrow til you can find some to bring over?" and hang up. My mom would call back in 30 seconds and apologize
  • Sunshine_Bettie
    Sunshine_Bettie Posts: 13
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    Awww, I'm sorry hun! It sounds terrific that you have a hubby who has been trying to get you to see your own progress though. All we can do in life is focus on our blessings & the good people around us. I understand it's hurtful when people say things like that to you though, especially when it's someone you love. My mom used to call me fat when I was younger. But CONGRATULATIONS! WELL DONE! That's so inspiring that you are making such good progress! That takes discipline. Keep on being healthy, keep on chugging along. It only matters how YOU feel about YOU & it sounds like your hubby is proud too. We can't please or change everyone...& you know what? That's okay, Merry Christmas, doll!
  • AZTrailRunner
    AZTrailRunner Posts: 1,199 Member
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    Hear me - please.

    Family is NOT a good system of support.
    Don't even mention your weight loss, and when you get the gifts, be gracious and just exchange them.

    Expect to be let down by your family, and build your new system of support from like-minded people in the same boat.

    Good Luck!

    I gotta agree with this. ^^^^ Family is the worst for support. That's why you should hang out here more often. :drinker:
  • Guardien
    Guardien Posts: 109 Member
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    What you have accomplished is a feat that many will never be able to claim. I say take your mom's disbelief and show her your new body. Maybe even shove your progress in her face. I know that sounds quite juvenile, but she wasn't acting very grown up.
    Revile in your success.
  • mrzpeep1
    mrzpeep1 Posts: 64 Member
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    you have every right to be mad! When she comes over show her how big those shirts are! I know how hard it is to be let down by your family not being excited about you weight loss but for what it is worth I think you are doing an awesome job! Look at all that you accomplished
  • andreabball
    andreabball Posts: 90 Member
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    Hear me - please.

    Family is NOT a good system of support.
    Don't even mention your weight loss, and when you get the gifts, be gracious and just exchange them.

    Expect to be let down by your family, and build your new system of support from like-minded people in the same boat.

    Good Luck!

    ^^^couldn't have said it better myself^^^
  • heatherterp
    heatherterp Posts: 239
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    when you try them on for her she will see. Make sure you have a hair clip to show her how you would need them pulled in. 60 pounds is Awesome. do not let her get you down. I have lost 40 and my folks have been here for 4 days and have not said a word. I keep doing my work outs and posting here. I do not need them to notice, I need to know I am a success.

    I am so proud of you!
  • Suzanne106
    Suzanne106 Posts: 149 Member
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    Family sucks; Merry Christmas. I just had a big *ss argument with my sister-in-law (who I cannot stand, but tolerate) and just went off on her and boy did it feel good.

    I understand that your mom sucked the wind out of your sail but blow it off for now and when she comes over talk to her about it. Don't hold it in because it will only cause resentment but it might push you further in the losing weight dept.

    Is your mom a large lady? If so, she might just be envious of your success.

    Good Luck!!!
  • kmcrey87
    kmcrey87 Posts: 422 Member
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    Let me start by saying CONGRATS! 60lbs is amazing and I know that took a lot of hard work and dedication. Amazing work!!!!

    I am so very sorry to hear about your mother's response to your weightloss, but you came to the right place to feel better about it! We all understand what a huge success it is to lose that much weight! Brush it off the best you can because nothing should make you feel bad after how far you have come!
  • 1a1a
    1a1a Posts: 761 Member
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    No one I'm close to has noticed I'm down a few kilos, acquaintances seem to see it though. Never mind your mum, congratulations on your loss thus far :-)
  • Apazman
    Apazman Posts: 494 Member
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    Hear me - please.

    Family is NOT a good system of support.
    Don't even mention your weight loss, and when you get the gifts, be gracious and just exchange them.

    Expect to be let down by your family, and build your new system of support from like-minded people in the same boat.

    Good Luck!

    Praise BE! Family blows for support like this. You know what you are doing! You don't need validation from anyone but yourself. you are down 2 shirt sizes! ... 2 ... that is incredible. You can shop at regular stores and get the hottest stuff... I mean .. really you are amazing, and should trust the husband, who sees you for everything you are not everything you have been.
  • Demwitted
    Demwitted Posts: 163
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    Congrats on your success! Family is hard to deal with sometimes. If you are close, they will be happy for you eventually. Listen to hubby and take mom with a grain of salt. I have to remind myself to do that ALL the time.
  • lovinbutterflys
    lovinbutterflys Posts: 131 Member
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    Hear me - please.

    Family is NOT a good system of support.
    Don't even mention your weight loss, and when you get the gifts, be gracious and just exchange them.

    Expect to be let down by your family, and build your new system of support from like-minded people in the same boat.

    Good Luck!

    I do not agree with that at all. no one knows you family or your mom better than you! The more people that know that you are trying to lose weight the better. You have more people to keep you on track. I am sure your mom did not mean any harm. I don't know you but have you tried to lose weight before and gain it back? I ask that because maybe your mom is like she has heard that before you know.....Sometimes mom's can best your best friend or your worse enemy. Instead of hanging up on her you need to voice the way you feel or else it is bound for her to keep saying whatever to you. If you don't let her know what she is saying is hurting you then how do you except for her to stop saying mean things and be more supportive.
  • davidcookfan
    davidcookfan Posts: 37 Member
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    Sorry to be crass, but I would have called my mom back and said "Ya know, i Think I need more positive support on my successes these days" How bout you just stay home tomorrow til you can find some to bring over?" and hang up. My mom would call back in 30 seconds and apologize



    Ok i am with him! I would have told my mother something like that. That is very rude what your mother said. Eventhough i only lost 47 pounds so far my parents teill me everyday how much they are proud of me. Losing 60 pounds is alot, and that is something you should be very very proud of. Way to go on your loss. and keep up the awesome work!!!
  • SheRa1964
    SheRa1964 Posts: 155
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    *sigh* I'd just take them back myself. How ridiculous. *hugs*

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