So upset!!
Malani2010
Posts: 245
Well I talked to my mom tonight which is the first time of Really talking in over a month. Anytime she wants a lengthy conversation is when she wants to gossip about my sister!!!! Well in the middle of all that I tried to tell her of my successes with losing 60 lbs and the new clothing sizes I was currently in. I said "Mom, I'm in a size 14!!" her response was "14 what?" I said "Pants size 14 and I wear a size medium shirt." she said " We will have to see about that" After that I my son opened my birthday present early and realized my grandparents got me a couple of nice shirts but are in XL. I told my mom that I was going to ask them if they can exchange them for a smaller size and she said "Well I'm coming over tomorrow so try it on in front of me so I can see"
With all that being said I hung up the phone and was really, really hurt because I am having the hardest time seeing my success and hubby has tried everything to get me to see it and then I have someone like my mom who doubts me. I don't wear clothes that show everything or clothes that are too tight!!!! Sorry guys I just needed to vent!
With all that being said I hung up the phone and was really, really hurt because I am having the hardest time seeing my success and hubby has tried everything to get me to see it and then I have someone like my mom who doubts me. I don't wear clothes that show everything or clothes that are too tight!!!! Sorry guys I just needed to vent!
0
Replies
-
I would be mad to.0
-
You lost 60 lbs!!!! You wouldn't have lost that much if you hadn't done it for yourself, right? So celebrate it yourself -- don't let your mother get you down. You know what will happen if she gets to you.....you will put that weight right back on! Be kind to yourself and be proud. Sixty pounds is an awesome accomplishment :-)0
-
Oh hun, I'm so sorry to hear that. You are doing a wonderful job! 60lbs is a huge accomplishment! Especially as you are a parent. Just think how wonderful it will be when you get to get those medium tops! You are an inspiration!0
-
Hear me - please.
Family is NOT a good system of support.
Don't even mention your weight loss, and when you get the gifts, be gracious and just exchange them.
Expect to be let down by your family, and build your new system of support from like-minded people in the same boat.
Good Luck!0 -
Your weight loss so far is amazing. Don't listen to your Mom & don't let her make you self doubt.
You are fantastic :flowerforyou:0 -
Sorry to be crass, but I would have called my mom back and said "Ya know, i Think I need more positive support on my successes these days" How bout you just stay home tomorrow til you can find some to bring over?" and hang up. My mom would call back in 30 seconds and apologize0
-
Awww, I'm sorry hun! It sounds terrific that you have a hubby who has been trying to get you to see your own progress though. All we can do in life is focus on our blessings & the good people around us. I understand it's hurtful when people say things like that to you though, especially when it's someone you love. My mom used to call me fat when I was younger. But CONGRATULATIONS! WELL DONE! That's so inspiring that you are making such good progress! That takes discipline. Keep on being healthy, keep on chugging along. It only matters how YOU feel about YOU & it sounds like your hubby is proud too. We can't please or change everyone...& you know what? That's okay, Merry Christmas, doll!0
-
Hear me - please.
Family is NOT a good system of support.
Don't even mention your weight loss, and when you get the gifts, be gracious and just exchange them.
Expect to be let down by your family, and build your new system of support from like-minded people in the same boat.
Good Luck!
I gotta agree with this. ^^^^ Family is the worst for support. That's why you should hang out here more often. :drinker:0 -
What you have accomplished is a feat that many will never be able to claim. I say take your mom's disbelief and show her your new body. Maybe even shove your progress in her face. I know that sounds quite juvenile, but she wasn't acting very grown up.
Revile in your success.0 -
you have every right to be mad! When she comes over show her how big those shirts are! I know how hard it is to be let down by your family not being excited about you weight loss but for what it is worth I think you are doing an awesome job! Look at all that you accomplished0
-
Hear me - please.
Family is NOT a good system of support.
Don't even mention your weight loss, and when you get the gifts, be gracious and just exchange them.
Expect to be let down by your family, and build your new system of support from like-minded people in the same boat.
Good Luck!
^^^couldn't have said it better myself^^^0 -
when you try them on for her she will see. Make sure you have a hair clip to show her how you would need them pulled in. 60 pounds is Awesome. do not let her get you down. I have lost 40 and my folks have been here for 4 days and have not said a word. I keep doing my work outs and posting here. I do not need them to notice, I need to know I am a success.
I am so proud of you!0 -
Family sucks; Merry Christmas. I just had a big *ss argument with my sister-in-law (who I cannot stand, but tolerate) and just went off on her and boy did it feel good.
I understand that your mom sucked the wind out of your sail but blow it off for now and when she comes over talk to her about it. Don't hold it in because it will only cause resentment but it might push you further in the losing weight dept.
Is your mom a large lady? If so, she might just be envious of your success.
Good Luck!!!0 -
Let me start by saying CONGRATS! 60lbs is amazing and I know that took a lot of hard work and dedication. Amazing work!!!!
I am so very sorry to hear about your mother's response to your weightloss, but you came to the right place to feel better about it! We all understand what a huge success it is to lose that much weight! Brush it off the best you can because nothing should make you feel bad after how far you have come!0 -
No one I'm close to has noticed I'm down a few kilos, acquaintances seem to see it though. Never mind your mum, congratulations on your loss thus far :-)0
-
Hear me - please.
Family is NOT a good system of support.
Don't even mention your weight loss, and when you get the gifts, be gracious and just exchange them.
Expect to be let down by your family, and build your new system of support from like-minded people in the same boat.
Good Luck!
Praise BE! Family blows for support like this. You know what you are doing! You don't need validation from anyone but yourself. you are down 2 shirt sizes! ... 2 ... that is incredible. You can shop at regular stores and get the hottest stuff... I mean .. really you are amazing, and should trust the husband, who sees you for everything you are not everything you have been.0 -
Congrats on your success! Family is hard to deal with sometimes. If you are close, they will be happy for you eventually. Listen to hubby and take mom with a grain of salt. I have to remind myself to do that ALL the time.0
-
Hear me - please.
Family is NOT a good system of support.
Don't even mention your weight loss, and when you get the gifts, be gracious and just exchange them.
Expect to be let down by your family, and build your new system of support from like-minded people in the same boat.
Good Luck!
I do not agree with that at all. no one knows you family or your mom better than you! The more people that know that you are trying to lose weight the better. You have more people to keep you on track. I am sure your mom did not mean any harm. I don't know you but have you tried to lose weight before and gain it back? I ask that because maybe your mom is like she has heard that before you know.....Sometimes mom's can best your best friend or your worse enemy. Instead of hanging up on her you need to voice the way you feel or else it is bound for her to keep saying whatever to you. If you don't let her know what she is saying is hurting you then how do you except for her to stop saying mean things and be more supportive.0 -
Sorry to be crass, but I would have called my mom back and said "Ya know, i Think I need more positive support on my successes these days" How bout you just stay home tomorrow til you can find some to bring over?" and hang up. My mom would call back in 30 seconds and apologize
Ok i am with him! I would have told my mother something like that. That is very rude what your mother said. Eventhough i only lost 47 pounds so far my parents teill me everyday how much they are proud of me. Losing 60 pounds is alot, and that is something you should be very very proud of. Way to go on your loss. and keep up the awesome work!!!0 -
*sigh* I'd just take them back myself. How ridiculous. *hugs*0
-
Vent away girl.....A big congrats on losing 60lbs.....That is fantastic......
Just wait till your mum sees you in the top then she will hopefully notice.......
Chin up and, again, congrats on your big loss.....:flowerforyou:0 -
shes jealous, dont be sad, be glad you kick as much *kitten*! ;p0
-
Well I talked to my mom tonight which is the first time of Really talking in over a month. Anytime she wants a lengthy conversation is when she wants to gossip about my sister!!!! Well in the middle of all that I tried to tell her of my successes with losing 60 lbs and the new clothing sizes I was currently in. I said "Mom, I'm in a size 14!!" her response was "14 what?" I said "Pants size 14 and I wear a size medium shirt." she said " We will have to see about that" After that I my son opened my birthday present early and realized my grandparents got me a couple of nice shirts but are in XL. I told my mom that I was going to ask them if they can exchange them for a smaller size and she said "Well I'm coming over tomorrow so try it on in front of me so I can see"
With all that being said I hung up the phone and was really, really hurt because I am having the hardest time seeing my success and hubby has tried everything to get me to see it and then I have someone like my mom who doubts me. I don't wear clothes that show everything or clothes that are too tight!!!! Sorry guys I just needed to vent!
Does your mom ....
jiggle your belly fat?
say "you look fat?"
tell you, "you'll be fat your entire life?"
when you tell her about your success, she says "whatever"
Lose 30lbs and she says "i can't see a difference?"
you have nothing to complain about.
What a ridiculous thing to say! Of course she has something to complain about. Even if the above happened to you and it's in your eyes perceived as worse than what the OP has experienced that is irrelevant.
Ignore this post OP, listen to some of the good advice from others and MASSIVE congrats on your 60lbs loss!0 -
Does your mom ....
jiggle your belly fat?
say "you look fat?"
tell you, "you'll be fat your entire life?"
when you tell her about your success, she says "whatever"
Lose 30lbs and she says "i can't see a difference?"
you have nothing to complain about.
Easily one of the rudest responses I've ever read. ^
As for the poster, I am so very sorry that you got that kind of response. It's hurtful to be excited about something and have someone you care about let the air out of your tires that way.
I love what others have said, though. Be positive, be proud of yourself, and do anything you can to ignore those negative remarks. It's so easy to let something like that ruin your day and make you feel like you haven't made any progress, but you know better.
0 -
My family never really mentions weight loss or gain, we're just not like that. I told my mum I'd joined mfp, showed her the app, she just wasn't interested! So I've gone back to not to telling her if I've lost coz I know she's struggled with her weight twice as long as I have and she doesn't need to know her daughter is doing great, its only gonna make her feel bad! If she wants to comment on my looks anytime she will, I'm lucky that they'd never say anything negative to me, and if she looks great I tell her! I want to foster a positive attitude, its the only way you get positivity reflected back at you in my opinion. Till then I'm happy knowing I'm doing it for me and my health, and yes for acceptance too, but only in wider society, your family should accept you just the way you are. Do not do it for 'real world' praise, you'll be very disappointed
xx 0 -
Does your mom ....
jiggle your belly fat?
say "you look fat?"
tell you, "you'll be fat your entire life?"
when you tell her about your success, she says "whatever"
Lose 30lbs and she says "i can't see a difference?"
you have nothing to complain about.
How rude... :noway:
By supposedly not "hearing" or understanding that she's lost 60 lbs and is a size 14 now, by not believing that an XL shirt is way too big, her mom is saying:
"you look fat"
"whatever"
and "i can't see a difference"
ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
Please grow up instead of only feeling sorry for you. I would feel offended too if my mom had that behaviour!
(mine, instead, sometimes says that I have a psychiatric illness bc I am counting my calories. When I gained 5 kgs, she said I had lost too much weight!!)0 -
*sigh* I'd just take them back myself. How ridiculous. *hugs*
same.......sorry but lifes too short to worry about crap like this. My mum hasn't been that 'gushing' about mine either - but who cares..........0 -
I'm kind of half and half with the family support. Some of my family try their hardest to encourage me.Others will give me a simple nod in acknowledgement when I talk about my weight loss. Or very very very jealous people like my boyfriend's sister in law loved asking the family how much weight I had gained-while I was pregnant!
-I take the support of my grandmother and boyfriend who encourage me.
-I accept the nods from my disinterested family members as a challenge to go further.
-And I laugh my @$$ off at the BF's sister-in-law who is a very petty, jealous woman because she gained a hundred and eight lbs with her pregnancy and I gained forty in mine. Also, she has kept all of her pregnancy weight while I've lost it all plus an extra 5 lbs before starting on MFP again. She could lose it all if she wanted to try-but instead she'd rather keep the same lifestyle and push her problems on me.
YOU HAVE DONE AN AMAZING JOB. You have lost 60 lbs and made a huge difference in your life. If your mom can't believe you or puts you down, that is entirely on HER. NOT YOU. Don't EVER let her or anyone else for that matter, take away your accomplishments with statements like that. If you put on the clothes and show her and she STILL does not acknowledge your loss, then that just further proves the point that it's all on her.
Don't ever forget what you have accomplished. Hold on to that, and let it drive you to any further weight loss goals or goals in life.0 -
I know how how you feel my mother tells me that I look heavier when I send her photos, she has always been very down beaten when it came to my weight, she would say "look behind you, you will find it" when I would tell her I had lost weight. She would always buy clothes in the plus sizes because she said I would end up back in that size. Keep your chin up, love your mom but don't let her negative vibe get you down. I did not tell my mother I had lost over 300 lbs and she only found out when I went home to visit after 2 years. She of course was negative that I could lost more but you know what I said yes could of and probably will but you are not going to take this from me. I wish you luck and you can add me as a friend if you would like.0
-
I am not feeling sorry for myself, or no one for that matter if you can't tell. The world isn't all rainbows and unicorns, how can anyone get stronger in life unless they're knocked down and have to stand back up, all that is being done is putting a bed of pillows for the person who gets knocked down. It's part of life. IF I was in the OP's shoes, it wouldn't phase me one bit. Success is about not letting things stand in your way, yet i am the one in the wrong, okay, if being successful in this matter is wrong sign me up.
To the OP, i never said anything about your weight loss, you did good in that. Personally this complaint is very minor.
Even if it wouldn't bother you, it did the OP so it was a bit of an insensitive thing to say.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 427 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions