People Haven't noticed and I don't care

Goozoo

Hi All,

Male:
37 yrs old
6'1"

Been going to the gym for 14 weeks and gone from 258lbs down to 222. 20-30 more to go.

Couple things that have suprised me.
My parents have not noticed AND My in-laws have not noticed.

.....and I don't care. I am doing this for myself. I am proud of my accomplishment and know there is a long way to go to better fitness and health.

When people do notice, I don't tell them how much I've lost ( i pretend I don't really know).......to avoid the constant questioning "how much now?"

Has anybody else experienced great results and expected people to notice, but they havent'?
Any thoughts on my approach to not sharing the number of pounds lost?

Happy Holidays to everyone!

Stacyanne324

First, I would tell people that do notice and ask exactly how much you have lost. It is a great accomplishment ... you should be proud of that number!

I can't imagine why your family hasn't noticed or at least said anything if they have. Do you see them really often? Sometimes if you see someone on an almost daily basis it is harder to notice changes but when it's been awhile since you have seen them a weight loss (or gain) is much more dramatic to them.

Congratulations! You are doing an awesome job!!

koolcat686

that's right, do it for yourself. i learned a long time ago to do it for myself because the second you starting wanting someone to notice and complement you, then they do and when they stop caring you stop caring too and let yourself go. i tell people when they do notice "oh nothing really just a little running" but for the most part no one notices and that's fine with me. i don't do it to look good or get bigger i do it to stay healthy and i want good functional muscles

good luck

Delicate

Do it for yourself, noone else

So what if they dont notice, its you who should be noticing the differences.

But it happens with people you see everyday they dont notice changes cause it happens gradually, if you went away for a week or so then came back to them, they would notice lol

Hellbent_Heidi

They'll start noticing soon enough and then you'll be wishing they'd shut up...LOL!

Congrats on your success so far, and keep up the great work!

Happy Holidays to you as well! :drinker:

paul_draper

Most people didn't notice until I had lost nealy 3 stone adn then they were interested in how I was doing it.

BobbyClerici

Hi All,

Male:
37 yrs old
6'1"

Been going to the gym for 14 weeks and gone from 258lbs down to 222. 20-30 more to go.

Couple things that have suprised me.
My parents have not noticed AND My in-laws have not noticed.

.....and I don't care. I am doing this for myself. I am proud of my accomplishment and know there is a long way to go to better fitness and health.

When people do notice, I don't tell them how much I've lost ( i pretend I don't really know).......to avoid the constant questioning "how much now?"

Has anybody else experienced great results and expected people to notice, but they havent'?
Any thoughts on my approach to not sharing the number of pounds lost?

Happy Holidays to everyone!

people will; give it time.
Or it could be these family members are jealous and refuse to acknowledge, because they detest you.
Sometimes family is not the best support network.

norma67

Congradulations on the loss.....and it is so important that you do it for yourself.

If you would like you can add me as a friend

betzeross

Congrats on your success so far. I can relate because my husband hasn't said one word - even when I mention my accomplishments, NSV etc... I'm not sure what that's all about but it is something I am doing for myself and I try to focus on the reasons I started this journey - to be stronger, healthier and look better. It's just nice if someone as close to you as a spouse would compliment and notice the changes. Best wishes for continued success!

adrian_indy

Good for you, but I will be so bold to suggest that maybe you do care and that is why you made this post. Without information on your loved ones who have not mentioned your weight loss, this is difficult to give any reasoning into their behavior. If they are bad people (they are your parents, not trying to offend) then the reason is obvious. But could it be that they are reserved, or do they not want to encourage you do believe that they thought you were fat before? Have you yo-yo dieted before and they are afraid to make a comment because you have gained back weight before? The possiblities are endless, and it might be as benign as them being polite, or as low as them just being jeaolous, but you won't know until you talk to them.

Honeydew1263

Congrats on your great achievements thus far. I think it is wonderful. Regarding the 'I don't see it' experiences. Yes, I have also encountered this, mainly from family and friends who were envious of my decision to take charge of my life and become healthy while they continued their unhealthy life styles. When you live out your journey to better health and wellness it causes a variety of responses from people. If fact, you might wonderful if people actually wanted you unhealthy and miserable. The answer just might surprise you. Any ways, continue walk in your success. You are an inspiration!

outtanms

Congrats on your success so far. I can relate because my husband hasn't said one word - even when I mention my accomplishments, NSV etc... I'm not sure what that's all about but it is something I am doing for myself and I try to focus on the reasons I started this journey - to be stronger, healthier and look better. It's just nice if someone as close to you as a spouse would compliment and notice the changes. Best wishes for continued success!

I think you are doing a wonderful job! And you look lovely! :flowerforyou:

galvodka

I notice that people who are over weight and want to lose weight also tend to not say anything......I won't speculate why. Overall, your opinion is the one that matters most. It's a great feeling to wake up and be proud of yourself so keep up the great work! You've obviously been working hard so be proud!!

WendyDawn75

Oh I am so sorry you aren't getting positive feedback from those closest to you! That is so hard. Hang in there. Find ways to give yourself positive feedback. A friend of mine who lost a fair amount of weight went to the same store once a week (after weigh in) and tried on a pair of jeans that were a bit too tight. Once they were too big she would just keep going back and try on smaller and smaller sizes of the same brand of jeans! It was a way to affirm what she was doing was working but didn't continually focus on the number on the scale. Congrats on your journey to a healthier you!!!

sewerchick93

Congrats on what you've accomplished!!! I've lost 70 and my family hasn't said anything to me either. although it would be nice to hear some praise from family, I'm doing it for my health and that alone.

When others comment and ask how much I've lost I'm embrassed to give the number because it is embarassing to admit I let myself get that big. I simply reply "enough to start feeling healthy".

nicolemariedwyer

First! Great job on your accomplishment! You should be proud!! Look in-ward for feedback!

I am sure people notice, but may not always know what to say to be supportive for you!

I'm a private person around some people and I notice that they don't say anything to me either, I think it is there way of respecting me.

jesilva80

I have lost 36 lbs to date, and no one really said anything till about I was about 26lbs. I think they were scared to say something. Its like they know, but they don't want to ask just in case. Its harder to see a loss on people,than you think if you were 150 lbs and lost 35 it would look alot different. My friend lost 30 lbs and i couldnt see much difference. but she was 250 starting , and i see her all the time. After she said something i could see the suddel changes. Your right, My mom, is always asking how much now? so annoying sometimes. Or I have people who, say I dont see where you needed to lose weight, your kidding right?? Anyway 36 lbs is alot congrats !!

qrhs87

Could it possibly be that you are replacing your lost weight with muscle and that's why they haven't commented? Also, some people lose weight evenly and not all in one location. That may be what's happening with you. You may not be losing it all through your stomach but elsewhere as well, therefore they may not be seeing it as much. I'm not trying to make excuses for them but maybe try to look at it through their eyes for a moment and see what they are seeing. BTW - good job on the weight you've already lost.

d2footballJRC

Part of it is the amounts, 36 pounds sounds like a lot but depending on your frame it might not show as much to people who see you often.

Another question since I'm devils advocate.. Since people haven't noticed and you don't care, why did you need to post about it?

Welcome to the site though, great people here. Pull up a chair and fully dive into the social aspect and make this a life style change!

michelletr

congratulations on the weight loss


and my best friend is like that...she didn't tell anyone but me that she is trying to lose weight right now because she doesn't want people asking her everytime they see her how she is doing and how much weight has she lost so far. but in her case she has been trying to lose the weight for a long time and she feels like if she fails (her words NOT mine) this time then no one knows so who cares? i never ask when i talk to her, i let her bring it up IF she wants...in fact just last week she informed me she had hit the 10 lb lost mark...i am SO VERY proud of her

see i always tell people, then i end up failing at losing weight...so this time it's my little secret...and MFP's,lol

sunnyday789

Few people have noticed/commented on my weight loss (14 1b). But then again, they didn't make comments or remarks on my way up the scale either (which BTW I wouldn't want them to!)

jlnk

Are your parents and/or in-laws overweight?

krist3ng

I think some people think it's impolite to comment on weight loss (AUGH I hate those kinds of people!! Compliments are never impolite!!), though I doubt your fam was being polite. Some people are less observant.
To be honest, weight loss is pretty subtle. Even losing 30 pounds, it disappears from all over. If they've seen you in the interim, they might not have realized how much progress you've made.

I have a friend whose girlfriend lost 50 pounds-- I think she went from like almost 200 to 150-- and he didn't notice.

jlnk

I ask because if they are, perhaps they are a little jealous? Sounds crazy, but I do know people who, out of jealousy, refuse to acknowledge others' accomplishments...

erikblock

I often don't notice weight gain or loss if I see someone regularly. Perhaps that's the issue.

Slove009

My in-laws seem to not care about if I'm trying to be healthy or fit. My husband and parents notice, but just about no one else does. In fact, my in-laws and those who don't notice I've made progress but know I'm trying to loose weight & get in shape, seem to be trying to sabotage me more than help.

On the other hand, My husband has gained 25-30lbs (he constantly fluctuates in weight) and I honestly would never have noticed if his jeans hadn't gotten tight on him. I mean, I literally cannot tell he has gained the weight at all. It just doesn't show much. When he was telling me a few months ago he had lost all that weight, I could kind of notice, but his body is really good abouit distrubuting things in a way that make it hard for him to look like he has lost/gained weight. So I guess I'm saying some people may not actually be able to notice the difference.

Congrats on what you've lost though!

lynheff

Maybe they've noticed but don't want to mention it? Many people are very sensitive about their weight and a compliment --even as innocent as" You look great" --is taken the wrong way. If they notice how good I look now, did they think i looked bad before? type of thing.. You are doing great!! You know it and I'm sure your spouse does too!

Hellbent_Heidi

Maybe they've noticed but don't want to mention it? Many people are very sensitive about their weight and a compliment --even as innocent as" You look great" --is taken the wrong way. If they notice how good I look now, did they think i looked bad before? type of thing.. You are doing great!! You know it and I'm sure your spouse does too!

I agree with this. I know people tend to jump to the "jealousy" conclusion quickly, but since I've lost weight this year, I've gotten more than my share of incredibly awkward compliments from people at work or the gym, who are clearly concerned that it might be somehow offensive.
To the OP - I'm going to guess your family has either noticed and hasn't wanted to say anything that might imply they thought you needed to lose in the first place, or they simply haven't really noticed the difference yet (on a guy your height, it might not be that extreme of a difference to people who don't see you all the time...especially if you're wearing your same 'big' clothes, and they're baggy). Depending where you are living this time of year, you might be hiding it under loose clothing, jackets, etc....

BethanyCee

People didn't start saying anything to me until I lost about 50 pounds. At 75 I get a lot of questions. I've also noticed it's mostly the same people. Some people don't say anything (either they don't notice or they feel it's rude to comment or ask questions) and then a few people keep bringing it up.

Personally, I don't mind either way. I like talking about it but I never bring it up, because I don't want to bore people who aren't interested!

smiles4support

I've lost a little over 20 now, I myself didn't see the changes in the mirror, it was in my clothes. NOT even my husband said ANYTHING! So I agree DO IT FOR YOURSELF! And you will knock the socks off ppl when you treat yourself to a NEW, CUTE & smaller size! GOOD LUCK, keep up the GOOD work