Unsuportive family and friends ?

fitJoce

I recently lost 30 lbs and am very near to my goal weight. I am still going strong with my eating and exercise routines, in fact I am more motivated than ever to get into the best shape of my life. Well, We just came back from a week with my In-laws and while I was there I actually started feeling bad and guilty that I had lost weight and have changed my dietary habits. How you ask?
I felt like they were sort of bothered the whole time that I wasn't eating the same things that they were, and that I would take some time out for myself each day to get in some exercise. My sister in law did not even mention my weight loss once and it almost felt like it was a taboo subject and I felt like I had to keep quiet about it like the elephant in the room sort of thing. My mother in law at least acknowledged it but made different comments like "Oh we can't go to this great ice cream place that we wanted to go to, so we will have to take you another time when you are eating again" Huh? Really? Again it felt like I was being judged.
I am so happy to be home and back to real life again where all my friends and local family are supportive and proud of me. I heard of this sort of thing happening to people when they lose weight, it's just never happened to me before.

Cathleenr

I recently lost 30 lbs and am very near to my goal weight. I am still going strong with my eating and exercise routines, in fact I am more motivated than ever to get into the best shape of my life. Well, We just came back from a week with my In-laws and while I was there I actually started feeling bad and guilty that I had lost weight and have changed my dietary habits. How you ask?
I felt like they were sort of bothered the whole time that I wasn't eating the same things that they were, and that I would take some time out for myself each day to get in some exercise. My sister in law did not even mention my weight loss once and it almost felt like it was a taboo subject and I felt like I had to keep quiet about it like the elephant in the room sort of thing. My mother in law at least acknowledged it but made different comments like "Oh we can't go to this great ice cream place that we wanted to go to, so we will have to take you another time when you are eating again" Huh? Really? Again it felt like I was being judged.
I am so happy to be home and back to real life again where all my friends and local family are supportive and proud of me. I heard of this sort of thing happening to people when they lose weight, it's just never happened to me before.

lol@ jealousy and envy.

i run into this from time to time, although my personality is fairly assertive and im not all that quiet about being marginalized.
but.
when i hear the criticisms like "Oh we can't go to this great ice cream place that we wanted to go to, so we will have to take you another time when you are eating again" that are trying to be phrased so sweetly, my inner voice takes over....."aaaaaannnnn THAT is the reason you look the way you do and the reason I look the way i do.
its all about choices.

TabbyDunn

I think this article might help. It made me a lot less annoyed about rude comments people make. http://www.muscleandfitnesshers.com/features/win-day/win-day-proud-be-fit

Good Luck!

appleiam1994

...you are not alone. I recently lost 20lbs and my family continually tells me that I am unhealthy and they yell at me for not eating enough. And then they tell me the way im exercising is unhealthy (wtf, rly) Its unsupportive and kinda impedes upon my weight loss plans.

sunkisses

Eventually you'll learn to stop caring whether people are supportive or not. How you feel about yourself will be enough. Congratulations on your weight loss, and keep at it.

sunkisses

double post

jennalink807

I lost 45 pounds for my wedding, and felt amazing in my body. Unfortunately, I had people start telling me I was too skinny, and I needed to put some weight back on (I'm only 5'4'' and I got down to 125... well within a healthy BMI). I let it get to my head, and put back on 20 of the pounds. Now I feel flabby and not as happy. That's why I joined MFP and got myself a gym membership. My fitness and weight are about ME not about other people's perceptions of me Don't let them get you down! It's not for them- it's for you!

ninyagwa

The best thing I think to do when someone makes ignorant or borderline hurtful comments about your health efforts is to correct them immediately. If you don't they will continue to marginalize your efforts or not understand what you're really doing.

I hope things get better the next time you inevitably have to see them.

lovinbutterflys

Eventually you'll learn to stop caring whether people are supportive or not. How you feel about yourself will be enough. Congratulations on your weight loss, and keep at it.

this, Seriously people need to learn to stop giving a flying flap jack about what people think. I know it's hard and it hurts when it is people who are in your family BUT it's like what a lot of people said more than likely they are just jealous which mean that you are doing great and looking great! Misery LOVES company and so do fat people when they eating fatty food!

toabetterlifestyle

My mom is the same way to me about changing my diet, getting healthy, and in shape. She says comments like "you should just stop working out, it's not helping." and whenever my family makes a really unhealthy meal full of cals carbs sodium and fat, and i make something else for myself, she just rolls her eyes. She is always reminding me how "big" i am when one, i'm not that big. and at least i'm doing something to help and change that. She tries to compete with me and she is jealous that I'm taking control of my life. That's probably how they're feeling. Are they bigger or overweight? if so, that's probably why. you're doing something about it, not them.

DKBelle

Don't take it personally it is their loss the way they think. It is so clear that they are just jealous about your success. Don't let anyone bring you down. My m in low usually try to force me to eat something that is full of fat, oil or sugar I always say no to her, but she is keep asking Take it like this, it is just a couple of days from the year so we are strong to avoid and handle it

annabellj

I think this article might help. It made me a lot less annoyed about rude comments people make. http://www.muscleandfitnesshers.com/features/win-day/win-day-proud-be-fit

Good Luck!

wow thanks, i needed that!

ezr2breath

So sorry you had to deal with that. I have to confess though that when I was around friends that would be mindful of their eating and take time to exercise I would secretly dispise them. But now that I am really trying and don't want anyone to feel that way toward me I feel bad that I felt that way. Pure jealousy is what it is. Even if the people that are giving you a hard time are healthy people and throwing their "diet" to the curb could be jealous of you because you have to willpower to stick to your new lifestyle despite any special occasion. But just remember that you are doing this for your health. Even though what is said and done by family can be very painful, all that will fade away when you see and feel how much better your life is for choosing your health over your family's feelings.

Keep up the good work!!!

Scorpioangel

Eventually you'll learn to stop caring whether people are supportive or not. How you feel about yourself will be enough. Congratulations on your weight loss, and keep at it.

this, Seriously people need to learn to stop giving a flying flap jack about what people think. I know it's hard and it hurts when it is people who are in your family BUT it's like what a lot of people said more than likely they are just jealous which mean that you are doing great and looking great! Misery LOVES company and so do fat people when they eating fatty food!

Great posts about this and I agree! Congrats on the weight loss and ignore the people who have something crappy to say to you or who treat you rudely. I got tired of it one day and asked a person making a comment to me if my blood pressure of 171/110 was better than what it is now (which it is now very good). That shut them up.

fitJoce

Are they bigger or overweight? if so, that's probably why. you're doing something about it, not them.

Nobody is extremely overweight but they've all got a few lbs to lose and they've all been up and down with their weight over the years. They are a family of mindless noshers, snacking on sugary, startchy foods throughout the day. They are well aware that it's unhealthy and my instinct tells me that having someone around that is being very mindful about it probably makes them feel bad about themselves. They would have been happier to have me and my old habits around. It's too bad but I guess I can understand it. It's just sad that instead letting it make them feel bad they couldn't have at least been happy for me.