I hurt Hubby's feelings

Options
Malani2010
Malani2010 Posts: 245
in Chit-Chat
and now Christmas is starting to suck!! We went to get our children the rest of their presents and he wanted to buy me a present but I said no that the kids were more important so when we got to the register I put my present back on the shelf. In my past I haven't gotten a Christmas present in 10 years. I was told after a certain age that presents don't matter so I haven't really ever wished for any anymore. I wanted our kids to be taken care of first because this is my son's 2nd Christmas and my daughter's 1st. Everyone else ALWAYS came first to me. I have the hardest time buying me a t shirt. Was I wrong? I feel like I was which I guess means yes. What can I do to make it right? It's already 8pm here and I know all the stores are closing. I just feel horrible.
«1

Replies

  • BloomingLily
    BloomingLily Posts: 62 Member
    Options
    I guess the only thing you can do about it now is apologize. Next time, let the man do something nice for you.
  • PennyNickel14
    PennyNickel14 Posts: 749 Member
    Options
    I am so sorry. I hate when stuff like this happens.

    Apologize to the hub. He was trying to take care of you and being nice.

    Remember when someone gets you a present it is about them and not about you.

    Think of something nice to tell him how much you value him next week.

    hugs.. I am sorry you feel bad.
  • jsmith2377
    jsmith2377 Posts: 208 Member
    Options
    Apologize but explain where you are coming from.
    Suggest going out for the night and leaving the kids with the babysitter. That way, it's a present for both of you!
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
    Options
    I'd feel guilty, too. One of the great skills in life is learning to accept gifts graciously. Remember that half the fun of a gift is in the gifting, not just in the receiving. And, the best gifts are the gifts you don't need. Did you buy anything for your husband?

    I agree with BloomingLily- you need to apologize. Talk it out with him. Cry it out if that's what you feel. Talk about what Christmas means to him - you seem kinda centered on your own family's interpretation.

    My husband and I had to talk out Christmas the first holiday we spent together. He's a more, less expensive gifts kinda person. I'm a less in number, more "thoughtful" gifts kinda person. Talking it out really made our Christmases work - we each know where the other is coming from.
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
    Options
    God tells a Man to put his family first. Just let him know you appreciate everything he does for your family. Everything will be fine but whatever you do trust your husband to support your family.
  • flsunshine
    flsunshine Posts: 188 Member
    Options
    give him a hug and a kiss and let him know he brought you the best gifts life has to offer
  • fitaliciag
    fitaliciag Posts: 373
    Options
    I guess the only thing you can do about it now is apologize. Next time, let the man do something nice for you.

    ^^that
  • hillybilly007
    hillybilly007 Posts: 36
    Options
    Love is forgiving,just explain to hubby why you did what you did and thank him for the offering. Merry Christmas!
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    Options
    He'll forgive you :) I REALLY like the idea above about suggesting a date instead of a present. Dates are far more important than any material thing!
  • russellma
    russellma Posts: 284 Member
    Options
    I can relate to that. I've told my husband not to worry about buying anything for me. I really don't need anything and feel guilty about using our finances for things I don't really need and it's hard to buy for a person like that.

    What I have suggested for this year is to buy something that we both will enjoy and use throughout the year, but don't feel is a necessity that we would spend the money on. That takes the stress and guilt off him (and me) for not buying a present and we're both benefiting from it.
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
    Options
    I always feel guilty when people but me things. My husband practically has to force me to buy things for myself.
  • livinginwoods
    livinginwoods Posts: 562 Member
    Options
    Just apologize and next time accept the gift. It may be hard but if he wants to do something nice for you, allow him. Hugs. Have a Merry Christmas. :flowerforyou:
  • Malani2010
    Malani2010 Posts: 245
    Options
    I always feel guilty when people but me things. My husband practically has to force me to buy things for myself.

    I'm the exact same way!!!
  • beautifulnovember
    beautifulnovember Posts: 75
    Options
    give him a hug and a kiss and let him know he brought you the best gifts life has to offer

    Do the above...
  • EricMurano
    EricMurano Posts: 825 Member
    Options
    Just apologize and next time accept the gift. It may be hard but if he wants to do something nice for you, allow him. Hugs. Have a Merry Christmas. :flowerforyou:

    +1

    I tell my partner not to buy me anything but she always does. It'd be awkward getting upset with her, wouldn't it?

    Just go with the flow. If the presents are really expensive and you're skint then maybe it should be more of an issue.
  • tegla
    tegla Posts: 132
    Options
    I feel for you. In our own shoes it's so easy to just shove ourselves aside and do for everyone else. For myself I love to do/buy things for my loved ones. And I always discouraged the same attention. But inside, don't we want something? It's not so much about what the item is, Buying is totally out of control, but a little meaningful something (though shiny things are .. so ssshhhhiny) wha.. what was I saying? Oh yea... not about the thing as much as I want my husband and children to want to be thoughtful and givers to others as well. And if I just turn that down, what's that saying to them? So yes, let them get you something next time, and enjoy it. We do deserve gifts. After all, isn't putting ourselves last the reason we became unhealthy also? This train of thought is new for myself too, and honestly, when my 19 year old son come out today totally excited he was putting a present under the tree for me,.. I teared up.

    Many years I didn't receive anything. In part because I discouraged it. This year I thought it was going the same way, I was thinking the same things I was just saying above, and how after all I do do for them, I'd want them to want to give me something out of love and appreciation for me. I don't think Christmas is just for the children at all, it is for everyone!

    Give your husband a sweet kiss and say you're sorry, and you have been thinking on it, and how bad you feel now that you are out of the mad rush of the store, and in the heat of all the dollar signs going by, you realize how he felt for you. ... you know the rest : )

    Merry Christmas!!
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    Options
    maybe next year or next holiday set a price limit or say it has to be something homemade. he could even do something like make you a nice breakfast one morning, or you could organize his tool shed for him or make him a scrapbook or take nice photos of your kids and put it in a frame? it doesn't have to be expensive, it is the thought that counts.
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
    Options
    Hmmm. Next time I would allow him a small budget even if it's like 10 bucks to go out and get you something special. I think the wrong part was him picking up the present with you there. That shouldn't work that way in the first place unless you have a huge grip on finances. But if you can give a small budget I would do that. And maybe the kids don't need that one random toy?
  • drvvork
    drvvork Posts: 1,162
    Options
    Apologize but explain where you are coming from.
    Suggest going out for the night and leaving the kids with the babysitter. That way, it's a present for both of you!

    Excellent suggestion... or you may be sitting there years from now wondering why he doesn't do anything gift-wise for you... ' voice of experience '.
  • 14bound
    14bound Posts: 25
    Options
    I agree...just apologize and and tell him you want a date night for you and him as your gift. Next time, let him get you the gift. You're worth it!!!

Categories