GAAAHHHH!!! - a bit of a rant

raindropwishes

I ate almost 4k cals yesterday without realising it. I thought ok - fine, but tomorrow won't be the same. Only problem is this family gorge themselves from Xmas day to NYD.

Today I had a large lunch which took up the majority of my cals allowance, and it's now 8.49pm. I am kinda hungry, and they've spread the table with crackers, loads of cheeses, cake, chocolate cakes, breads, bread sticks. I said no to it all. I want it, I really do, but I wanna lose weight more. So I went to lay down in the sitting room. What do they all do? Sit in the dining room, filling their plates while talking about how stupid I am for "starving myself" - please feel free to look at my diary, and tell me what you think.

All flipping weekend I've been ridiculed and made to feel stupid and small because I weighed everything; even on xmas day. (and ok maybe that was kinda silly, but why can't I?! It's my food - I still ate 4k worth of cals, why couldn't I weigh it out to be able to accurately keep track?

Then they all decide to come and sit; plates piled high, in the sitting room where I am. I wanna scream.

I wanna eat too, I do. This is me showing restraint - something that is soooooooooo hard for me, I can't even explain. I'm practically in tears. I feel so angry and hurt.

Just wanted to rant. Do you guys think I'm being stupid? If I hear one more "oh it's only a few days" I'll actually scream and run out of the house.

NuttyBrewnette

You're not being stupid.

Sorry your family is giving you a hard time.

It's your body, what you put into it is up to you.

Maybe go for a stroll around the block?

Hang in there, this time of year is tough, family togetherness can be tough.

Dave198lbs

just laugh it off...aint no big thang unless you let it get to you...dont let it

TheAncientMariner

The good thing is that you are aware. You aren't just blindly eating without understanding the effects that all of those bad foods will have on your body. I don't think your rant is stupid and I think it is justified. However, you know what you have to do and it's just a matter of determining how badly you want it. You don't have to eat everything. I would just drink a tall glass of water, and get a half serving of a couple of things and try to keep everything else as healthy as possible. To completely deny yourself could potentially lead to binging later, and then binging more because of the guilt you feel about letting yourself go.

Just relax, take a deep breath and recognize the control you have. I also noticed that you have been exercising as well, so don't let your hard work go to waste. It will become easier with time. If you are not able to resist, just make sure you come back more determined than ever the next time. It's not the off day here or there that hurts us, it's when we make bad decisions a habit. Good luck!

elizamc

Sorry to hear that you've not been encouraged when you have been clearly very strong. There are many reasons why people don't like others losing weight, and these include sabotage - even from our nearest and dearest.

Well done for staying so focused at a really tough time of year, don't listen to the 'nay-sayers' you have done a great job! Tell them to butt out :-D

I always remember my Rosemary Connelly teacher saying that if a person is on a medicinal diet such as for coeliac, people accept it. She suggested that we come up with something that would work for us such as - 'I have to reduce my fat intake for health reasons' . Keep going, you're doing great!

NotGoddess

I don't want to make you scream but there is a saying "It's not what you eat between Christmas and New Years, it's what you eat between New Years and Christmas".

If you are worried about being teased, fill (but don't pile) your plate with the healthier options you can find and nibble. Drink a lot of water between bites. That way you'll feel more full, still get to enjoy some treats, and it won't look like you are 'starving' yourself. Since you are drinking more you'll need to get up to use the restroom. Take your plate out and re-arrange the food and it'll look like you got more. It's sneaky, but sometimes family gatherings aren't the place to make a stand, so you need to use a little subterfuge.

manderson27

Your not being stupid honey. But you seem to be seeing this as an all or nothing challenge. I looked at your diary and in my opinion you could have made some choices that would still have left you with a lovely meal but a bit lower on the calories. For instance instead of having both fried potoatoes and chips you could have had just the chips which were the lower calorie option in this case.

You don't have to pig out or starve yourself, just eat in moderation then you can enjoy the things you do eat with your family without beating yourself up over it and without making other people uncomfortable. They won't notice that you have picked the carrot sticks to use in the dip over the doritos or a pile of salad and lean meat over the quiche. They will just see you eating and enjoying yourself.

As for the cheese have a few tiny pieces and cut up an apple that way your plate looks full and you are making a more healthy choice than crackers.

Good luck hun

shine82

Ohh I totally relate to you.. my family give me hard time too, for not eating what they are eating.. But i have to take my stand, i know better..

shasha_84

My family Christmas dinner was horrible as well. I ended up not eating anything cause I didn't want to deal with the comments and ridicule from my family for being vegan. Sometimes its our family who can be more mean than complete strangers. I am sorry. It sucks!

Pandorian

I hear that from a couple family members quite a bit, giving me a hard time about tracking what I'm eating or if I have something "processed" as a treat... yet there doing this derision with a cigrette hanging from their lips... yup... uh-huh, oh sure you know best what's good for putting in your body allright...shrug it off. If you have to go for a walk get away from the food, people will keep pushing you until you meet their "norm" including at a party, but if you can slip off and refill your beer bottle with water they can't tell the difference in the dark of a party etc. Clear cups? Make yourself a sparkling cranberry cocktail with club soda and cranberry juice or gingerale/ sprite / 7up. They don't know you left out the alchol.

MelL1205

I applaud you for being able to exercise restraint. I, myself, keep shoving my face today. I was harassed all week about not eating enough (since when is 1700 calories not enough), so today I went nuts and ate everything in sight. So, no, you aren't being stupid -- in fact, you are being sensible. Stick with it!

sunflower_yogi

You're not being stupid.

Sorry your family is giving you a hard time.

It's your body, what you put into it is up to you.

Maybe go for a stroll around the block?

Hang in there, this time of year is tough, family togetherness can be tough.

^this. don't let what your family says to you get to you. it's YOUR body. think 'whatever' as you walk out the door for a nice, long walk.

Artemis_Acorn

The lovely thing about this situation is that it is your body, your choice as to what goes into your mouth. I second the idea about going for a walk, and then if there is something you really want, use those exercise cals to have a taste. Good luck.

EricMurano

I think if anyone is giving you a hard time about not gorging then you have the right to annoy them with evangelism about healthy eating.

Admit it, everyone here wants to talk about healthy eating and living to everyone but you stop yourself because it can get a little obsessive and creepy. Well you have a green light here!!

You'll know when you've touched a chord when they say things like "It's only once a year!" HAH! Move in for the kill: "Oh I bet it's once a day for you!"

Ok ok maybe don't do all that ...

This is a test. This is God, the universe or the pasta monster (see, I included pastafarians) testing to see how strong you are and whether you're going to choose resolve. In fact it's not really a test: it's training. This is your opportunity to learn how to stick to the plan despite every factor in the environment pulling you off the track. When you get through this you'll be unshakeable!

raindropwishes

I just wanted to say thank you. To all of you, for your understanding but also for suggestions on how I can make some compromises.

@ Emurano: I would LOVE to say that to someone - it would make me so happy - not sure I'd get away with it though :laugh:

It may sound like I'm being kind of pathetic, but I know that with such a huge spread on, once I start I can't stop, which is why I chose not to start this evening. I had a big enough lunch and to be perfectly honest I actually am not that hungry - when the food was out I thought I was starving - but now it's been put away I'm actually ok. I had some water, 5 almonds and a clementine and I didn't need them I just ate them to shut everyone up. I'm so proud of myself - can't believe I did it!! :bigsmile:

Thanks again everyone. I really love that people here can relate

kandrews24

Wow that SUCKS!!! I can't even imagine or relate. I have the opposite as all my family is supportive and proud. They even all went on a walk with me after dinner (and they are all thin). Wish you could just walk out the door and come over here and get some peace!!!! In my view, to be at all critical when someone is doing something good for them is pretty sick. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. You are the sane one here! Hold your ground.

rschmmidt

If you are worried about being teased, fill (but don't pile) your plate with the healthier options you can find and nibble. Drink a lot of water between bites. That way you'll feel more full, still get to enjoy some treats, and it won't look like you are 'starving' yourself. Since you are drinking more you'll need to get up to use the restroom. Take your plate out and re-arrange the food and it'll look like you got more. It's sneaky, but sometimes family gatherings aren't the place to make a stand, so you need to use a little subterfuge.

I've actually amused myself at food-related gatherings by making a game of just this thing. Creatively pile up the plate with anything you can find that's good - carrot sticks, apple slices, maybe a few thin slices of cheese. Rearrange the food frequently. Put one cookie on there and wave it around while you keep moving around the room so no one knows it's the same cookie. Water down the drink, use ice. Refresh the garnish. The trick is to fool those critics into thinking you're enjoying all those goodies. Then they shut up, and you win. Reward yourself by eating the cookie. LOL

You've got this!

Mandypt

You'll know when you've touched a chord when they say things like "It's only once a year!" HAH! Move in for the kill: "Oh I bet it's once a day for you!"

good one, i have to use that!!!

EricMurano

It may sound like I'm being kind of pathetic, but I know that with such a huge spread on, once I start I can't stop, which is why I chose not to start this evening. I had a big enough lunch and to be perfectly honest I actually am not that hungry - when the food was out I thought I was starving - but now it's been put away I'm actually ok. I had some water, 5 almonds and a clementine and I didn't need them I just ate them to shut everyone up. I'm so proud of myself - can't believe I did it!! :bigsmile:

Good work!

I think most of us would not be able to stop once we started on a huge spread.

If I wanted some of the spread I wouldn't just pick at the food on the table. I'd get a plate, preferably a small one, and put what I was going to eat on it. That's your chance to make the right choices on both the types of food and the quantities. Once you have your plate and you've done your best to estimate the calories, just chip away at it slowly.

rmsrws

How dare you weigh your food on Holidays.....LOL....I think it is GREAT you are showing such dedication to your goals. Don't freak out about yesterday, it is gone and done with.

Family can be cruel without realizing it. My grandma who knows I can't eat sugar got me a box of chocolates for Christmas, My aunt made me a care package full of cookies and candies, I regifted both!!!!!!

Just be strong and you can do it. But if you really need to nibble on something you are craving you might be better off to just cave in and have a little, or you may find yourself over eating on other thngs trying to compensate for what you really desire!!!

Bellyroll

I don't want to make you scream but there is a saying "It's not what you eat between Christmas and New Years, it's what you eat between New Years and Christmas".

If you are worried about being teased, fill (but don't pile) your plate with the healthier options you can find and nibble. Drink a lot of water between bites. That way you'll feel more full, still get to enjoy some treats, and it won't look like you are 'starving' yourself. Since you are drinking more you'll need to get up to use the restroom. Take your plate out and re-arrange the food and it'll look like you got more. It's sneaky, but sometimes family gatherings aren't the place to make a stand, so you need to use a little subterfuge.

I don't want to make you scream but there is a saying "It's not what you eat between Christmas and New Years, it's what you eat between New Years and Christmas"

atiffany1

I lived with my mother for a couple months over the summer and they would be the same way, I would eat healthy and they would bring in pizza and dangle it in front of my face, eventually I gave in and I gained back all the weight I had lost.. This time I have a supportive roomate and it is a lot easier.. Just because they have the food there doesnt mean you have to eat it, if I were you I would speak up and say would you rather me stuff myself silly or be able to be a healthy weight and live a long happy life.. Food doesn't equal happiness, that is what people get wrong about this season. It's family. They can be a loving family with out picking on you for trying to be healthy.

pholbert

No you are not being stupid. You are doing what is right for you. You don't tell them what they should eat and they should not do that to you. That is what you should tell them. You should be proud of yourself and not cave in.

fiberartist219

If someone were criticizing my food choices, I wouldn't be above pushing food around a plate just to appease them. I wouldn't eat it though.

Honestly though, just stay strong. It might take awhile for them to realize you are serious, but just keep it up and eventually they will quiet down. If you don't take good care of yourself, obviously no one else will.

A good workout might be due too.

Just go on about your business, whether or not anyone around you likes it. You don't need anyone's approval to do what is best for your health!

tecallahan

You are not being stupid. Ask them to support you and respect your efforts to lose weight!! Stay away from "empty carbs" as best you can... it's what will hurt you the most. Drink lots of water or tea to keep yourself hydrated. Push food around you plate.

I sat at a carb-fest with my family on Christmas Day and they respected that I was eating veggies and lean meat!!

sherrithin

It is just one day. You will get back on track. Drink lots of water and find something to do, it is hard. I watched a movie took up 2 hours and then I had a snack!

quietlywinning

I'm sorry your family is so mean and childish. I think a good strategy for next Christmas is to start at the very next family gathering, especially if it's a holiday - Easter or even Valentine's day - to let them know ahead of time that you will be spending the day with a friend, and calmly explain that being called stupid for working towards a better, healthier lifestyle was not your idea of a good time, and therefore you will be spending the day with someone who has manners. Pick someone who has the ability to enjoy your company over a modest, healthy meal. Then at the next family gathering, agree to go, but let them know that you will not criticize their food choices and they will not criticize yours. If they learn to behave, enjoy their company. If they start in on you again, meaning multiple people or one uncorrected-by-the-others, LEAVE - immediately is most effective, saying, "we can try again next holiday!" Be as cheerful as you can through it all, but firm and leave no room for discussing your decisions.

You are making better food choices for yourself. It is also healthy to make good relationship choices. Yes, they are your family. That is the BEST reason ever to set and maintain boundaries. It's the only chance to grow the respectfulness in the relationships, too. For some stupid reason a lot of families believe they can do and say whatever rude things they want within the family and the others "have to" put up with them. It took me a long time to learn otherwise, but I am SO glad I put my foot down!

iamstaceywood

I like the snarky comments, and I also like the rearange idea. Also, the rewarding yoursrelf with the cookie part! When I go to family meals is bring something I know whats in it and I know its portion sizes and I will enjoy. Like fruit salad, or a veggie side dish, or a salad. And eat a predecided portion of that while adding other things to my plate. Your gravy dripping meatballs and butter covered corn wtih bacon bits (who eats like this????) and ill eat what I decided to eat and leave the otherstuff moved around, spread out, and looking like i ate a ton. Bake a hungry girl dessert and decide to have a cupcake or brownie or whatever you brought. Eat one. Call it a day. Change the subject (or preach....my fave!!!!) and don't get winded when you go for a refil on your diet pop or water. And then tomorrow, you wake up smiling. Screw em. Family is great. Family sucks. Period.