Is it bad to lose weight just cause I don't like the number

withchaco

I totally get what you are saying. I would look weird at a certain weight when for others it is normal but that's what annoys me - why can't I be light like others my height even if I look skinnier.
I guess that was what my question was about all along, is it okay to lose weight for the sake of being lighter. I am also under the impression that guys do not like heavy girls (heavy being different to fat).

If a guy doesn't like you just because you are heavier than a certain weight... then he's crazy and stupid. You deserve better.

Most guys won't even care about your weight as long as you're hot

More importantly, who cares what they think? You should put yourself first with things like this. Your happiness and your health.

Elzecat

I totally get what you are saying. I would look weird at a certain weight when for others it is normal but that's what annoys me - why can't I be light like others my height even if I look skinnier.
I guess that was what my question was about all along, is it okay to lose weight for the sake of being lighter. I am also under the impression that guys do not like heavy girls (heavy being different to fat).

If a guy doesn't like you just because you are heavier than a certain weight... then he's crazy and stupid. You deserve better.

Most guys won't even care about your weight as long as you're hot

More importantly, who cares what they think? You should put yourself first with things like this. Your happiness and your health.

No offense to most guys, but honestly most of them aren't going to be able to look at you and know your exact weight. In college (cough, 20 years ago) I weighed 155 (I'm 5'8) , I'd gained about 15 pounds from high school weight and didn't feel "skinny"...however, I lifted weights, walked everywhere because I had no car, and had great muscles...my bf at the time asked my weight one day...when I told him the number, he was shocked. He thought I was 120.

As for guys not liking "heavy" girls...I've had boyfriends at my lightest weight, and boyfriends at my heaviest. I've also been single for extended periods of time regardless of my weight or fitness. Different guys like different "looks" on a woman, just like some women prefer thin men or "husky" men or whatever. If you are confident in yourself, that will attract people.

I find myself obsessing over the scale occasionally, and for me that's when I put it away for a couple days and focus on other fitness goals.

Elzecat

http://www.mybodygallery.com/

Someone sent me this link a few months ago...I think it's a great site to see that real women come in all sizes and shapes, and can look very different at the same heights and weights.

KayteeBear

I totally get what you are saying. I would look weird at a certain weight when for others it is normal but that's what annoys me - why can't I be light like others my height even if I look skinnier.
I guess that was what my question was about all along, is it okay to lose weight for the sake of being lighter. I am also under the impression that guys do not like heavy girls (heavy being different to fat).

Oh please, dear God do NOT lose weight for guys!!! If a guy won't date your or dump you because of your weight then he doesn't deserve you. And as said, most guys won't be able to guess your weight anyway.

As for the "why can't I be lighter like others"...it's something you have to get used to. It doesn't mean you're fatter than those other people 40 pounds lighter, it means you are built differently. Who cares about being light? Be HEALTHY and STRONG.

I've learned that I will always be heavier than other girls my height...but I am strong and I am proud to say that. And I want to get stronger and that is something that I can be proud of. I wouldn't be proud of being 100 pounds aka light. You need to build your goals around your body type. You can't shove a circle peg into a square hole. That sounds like what you're trying to do.

And you can't say most guys like this or that. Yes, some will like skinny, light girls, others will like women with curves. My boyfriend LOVES my curves and my "squishy" bits...even though I don't like being quite this squishy but he LOVES it. He loves my big legs and my big butt and my soft belly.

ConsciousGirl

Thanks everyone for your nice replies
I am not doing it for anyone, I just want to feel good about my weight. Noone knows my weight, not my family nor my friends.

ConsciousGirl

Thanks everyone for your nice replies
I am not doing it for anyone, I just want to feel good about my weight. Noone knows my weight, not my family nor my friends.

What if you lose weight, and in the process lose muscle mass, and turn really obese? that might work for you.

Why would I turn 'obese' if I lose weight? That doesn't really make any sense if I'd be working out and eating well. Please explain though because in all honesty, I do have a fear of gaining weight/fat.

skywa

I think body type really plays a factor. Some people can get away with being lighter and still remain quite healthy. Others not so much.

skywa

Thanks everyone for your nice replies
I am not doing it for anyone, I just want to feel good about my weight. Noone knows my weight, not my family nor my friends.

What if you lose weight, and in the process lose muscle mass, and turn really obese? that might work for you.

Why would I turn 'obese' if I lose weight? That doesn't really make any sense if I'd be working out and eating well. Please explain though because in all honesty, I do have a fear of gaining weight/fat.

Well being 'obese' has to do with body fat %, not weight. If your body fat percentage is above a certain amount your classified as obese.

You're not going to become obese losing weight when your in the normal range. But i imagine that's what their implying.

If you want to get in shape. Do it. Dont do it for the number on the scale though. Because its one of the lease accurate indicators of physical progress out there. ;P

ConsciousGirl

Thanks everyone for your nice replies
I am not doing it for anyone, I just want to feel good about my weight. Noone knows my weight, not my family nor my friends.

What if you lose weight, and in the process lose muscle mass, and turn really obese? that might work for you.

Why would I turn 'obese' if I lose weight? That doesn't really make any sense if I'd be working out and eating well. Please explain though because in all honesty, I do have a fear of gaining weight/fat.

Well being 'obese' has to do with body fat %, not weight. If your body fat percentage is above a certain amount your classified as obese.

You're not going to become obese losing weight when your in the normal range. But i imagine that's what their implying.

If you want to get in shape. Do it. Dont do it for the number on the scale though. Because its one of the lease accurate indicators of physical progress out there. ;P

That's what I thought as well. I didn't/don't understand what he was getting at.
I'm definitely doing this for myself before anything or anyone.

Also, for anyone who thinks so, I do NOT have an eating disorder. I don't eat 100 calories a day or vomit after eating. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be very thin or being scared of becoming fat or feeling guilty whenever I eat.

cartea01

"There is nothing wrong with wanting to be very thin or being scared of becoming fat or feeling guilty whenever I eat."

I'm sorry, but that statement is VERY wrong. Those thoughts are the precursors to the "eating 100 cal a day/vomiting." Please, find someone you can talk to. A doctor, a psychologist. I'm very worried about you.

ConsciousGirl

"There is nothing wrong with wanting to be very thin or being scared of becoming fat or feeling guilty whenever I eat."

I'm sorry, but that statement is VERY wrong. Those thoughts are the precursors to the "eating 100 cal a day/vomiting." Please, find someone you can talk to. A doctor, a psychologist. I'm very worried about you.

No I know I don't have and won't get an eating disorder. Thanks for your concern but really, it's probably just a phase or something. It's natural to feel that way sometimes.
Also, there is a difference in wanting to become very thin and actually becoming very thin. I know I'll never be really thin due to my big bones, etc.

engineman312

Anyone have that thread where that woman (short dark hair, red top? I think?) is 120 something in one and 135 in the next but she looks MUCH thinner because of muscle?

Anyone know what in talking about?

do you mean staci???? http://nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/

BetterWithAge

Anyone have that thread where that woman (short dark hair, red top? I think?) is 120 something in one and 135 in the next but she looks MUCH thinner because of muscle?

Anyone know what in talking about?

do you mean staci???? http://nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/

Staci is my inspiration

Rilke

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be very thin or being scared of becoming fat or feeling guilty whenever I eat.

Oh dear

At this point, I think you are either
1) a troll, or
2) in denial.

I urge you to try to find a dietician in your area who can help you make peace with food and teach you what it means to nourish yourself. In the meantime, I recommend some body image blogs:

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/
http://rosiemolinary.com/blog/
http://stophatingyourbody.tumblr.com/

KaleidoscopeEyes1056

are you the same girl who posted the "Do I look fat?" thread? Like CarolinaGirly[something or other]? the one who had like 4 different profiles? You certainly seem like the same person...

Bentley2718

I would look weird at a certain weight when for others it is normal but that's what annoys me - why can't I be light like others my height even if I look skinnier.

I don't this at all.
1) If you're healthy, and fit, does the number really matter?
2) If you LOOK thinner, why does it matter if you weigh a few pounds more?
3) You don't weigh yourself in front of other people (usually), so why do you care what other people weigh (especially if you LOOK thinner).

Bentley2718

As for guys not liking "heavy" girls...I've had boyfriends at my lightest weight, and boyfriends at my heaviest. I've also been single for extended periods of time regardless of my weight or fitness. Different guys like different "looks" on a woman, just like some women prefer thin men or "husky" men or whatever. If you are confident in yourself, that will attract people.

Also, while you may get more attention when you're thin, in terms of finding a relationship, a few pounds isn't going to matter, and you certainly don't have to be super skinny. The truth is, most guys aren't that picky. And I agree, confidence is way more attractive than any number on the scale.

KayteeBear

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be very thin or being scared of becoming fat or feeling guilty whenever I eat.

Actually yes there is something wrong with that. It's not mentally healthy to be scared of becoming fat or feeling guilty whenever you eat. I don't care what you say, but that can and might lead to an eating disorder. Eating disorders are WAY more than just starving yourself or always making yourself throw up. They are complex and have as much to do with the mind as they do the body.

akjmart2002

You are only 16 years old. You have most likely not even finished growing. Limiting your calories so drastically at your young age may not be safe.
Please contact your doctor to discuss your goals and mental state.

MFP is also not an appropriate place for you to be.

I second this wholeheartedly. Thanks for voicing this opinion.

It does not sound like you in a good place to make healthy decisions for yourself. Seek some medical advice before you go in search of your 'perfect number' on the scale.

ladykate7

Many people have said that I don't need to lose weight but I don't like the number on the scale which is why I want to. I like the idea of being light.
Anyone else think the same?

I like the idea of being light too. But it's just not going to happen for me. When I workout and eat clean I become athletic looking. Which is awesome because I look great, but I also weigh more. Pehaps its something like that for you. Consider finding other ways to feel happy.

KayteeBear

I just saw this and think it will help you.

http://pinterest.com/coleen_uyehara/therapy-eating-disorders-i/

Look at it. Seriously look at those pictures and read them and read comments. Do it. Do not look at a few and stop. Read all of them. Please. In order to be healthy you need to work on changing your mindframe of how you HAVE to look or HAVE to be a certain weight to be beautiful. And at such a young age you could possibly be wrecking your life for many years if you keep going down this path.

ConsciousGirl

Thanks everyone but I assure you I will not go down the ED path. I have friends and family that constantly watch out for whether I am eating or not and notice straight away even if I lose the smallest amount of weight.

AggieCass09

more stuff emphasizing it isn't about a number:

http://nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/AggieCass09/view/proof-the-scale-lies-150448

if you obsess about a number you will never be happy or be at peace with your body. pick goals that aren't focused on the scale (smaller clothes, squatting your body weight, doing a pull up, running a race, etc)...these make you feel good while helping you be as fit as possible. Trust me, freedom from the scale is the best feeling ever, you can enjoy meals and life! While obsessing about a number may or may not be an eating disorder or lead to them, its not a fun place to reside.

let go of the number and enjoy life!