how do you learn to like yourself?

Clarecbear82

Hi I've been on this journey since February and I'm happy with the results the only thing is I still don't like me. I'm not looking for complements or sympathy. I just want to know how i can get to the point of liking what I see in the mirror? I still think I'm big but I know I can keep losing. The one thing I can't change is my face and that's the part of me I hate its so chubby and ugly. It's not just me who thinks it is either I've even had random people in the street tell me that too!

So all I can say is will there ever be a point I look in the mirror and think I look ok?

laineyy011

You are beautiful. Inside and Out. God made you the way He wanted to. We were each created in HIS image. God doesn't make mistakes, sweetie. If people tell you that you are ugly, well who cares, because you're not. You are absolutely perfect because like I said, God DOES NOT make mistakes.

_GlaDOS_

If you feel this way about yourself now, it is likely that being thinner won't change that. It might help a little, but you won't like your future, thinner self if you can't respect, accept, and like who you are now. It looks like you have lost a lot of weight already, which is fantastic! You should be celebrating those accomplishments and your new, healthier lifestyle. I like to treat myself to some new clothes, a new hairstyle, new make-up, or just stand in front of the mirror and give myself compliments sometimes. Sounds silly, but it has helped. :flowerforyou:

econut2000

Every morning look in the mirror and give yourself a compliment. If you think you have beautiful eyes or lips tell yourself that....outloud!!! It may sound silly but eventually you will start to focus on those beautiful areas and your "flaws" will no longer be so evident. Plus who cares what others think! You need to love yourself first. Confidence radiates from the inside out: so if you think you're beautiful others will too!! :-)

Plus, let's face it when we lose weight our brains don't necessarily catch up to our physical appearance right away. So when you look in the mirror you may still see that "chubby" girl.

jofromnz

The best way to feel better about yourself is to help others. By putting your focus off yourself and onto other people you will gain self confidence and be proud of the real value you can add to other people. It honestly works - random acts of kindness are a great starting point!!!

supertracylynn

I hate myself and what I see in the mirror and have been hovering within 2-3# of my goal weight for 2 years.

ruby_red_rose

But you are beautiful! I am a random stranger, and I think you are. Don't pay any attention to those who say otherwise. You may also consider speaking to a therapist - they are trained to help you figure such things out.

PennyNickel14

1. End Negative Self talk - Also it's wicked hard to do. Don't say anything to yourself that you would not say to a 15 year old girl.
2. Have you thought about adding some daily meditation in?
3. Journaling 5 things you like about yourself, 10 things that you are grateful for and a sentence about why your life rules every morning.
4. Do something nice for someone else.

Note: I am really Really working on this with my own self-esteem issues!

sm423

I know it can be hard to think to yourself "I'm beautiful", when our society paints (photo shops) a picture of what beauty is suppose to look like. But everyone has their own insecurities, even the prom queens. Focus on the things you like about yourself. And try not to dwell on the things you're not too fond of. I myself have always been insecure about my nose. It's big and I get teased about it from time to time, mostly when I was younger. But there came a point when I was just like screw it, this is ME!! So I hope you can get passed those negative thoughts and look inside yourself and see, that you are beautiful. So smile.

Captain_Mal

First of all, most people are idiots so don't listen to them.

Secondly, you're going to have to decide how you want to live the remainder of your life....hating yourself or loving yourself.

I've struggled with this before, well most of my life in fact and still do on occasion. It sucks. There's plenty of things you could try but if you haven't come to terms with it in your own mind, they won't help.

Sarahbara76

Once when I was 15 yrs old a person I adored told me that until I loved myself nobody else would. I didn't let it sink in until I was in my 20's after losing 30-40 pounds and still dating guys that treated me like the chubby girl with the pretty face but not a girl your proud to show your friends. That got to me, I looked in the mirror and told myself I was more then I was given credit for being. My soul was beautiful and like many beautiful women once I believed that and acted as if I was as beautiful as the next girl things changed. People started wanting to be around me more and more , men worshiped at my feet but I laughed them off because deep down I am the same shy girl but I know about my beautiful soul and I let it shine. So look inside and realize there is no one with a soul like yours, they shine differently but nobody shines like you.

CaptainGordo

Little notes to myself under my pillow.

Elizabeth_C34

When I feel like this, I sit down and write a list of good things about myself and I stick it up in my home office on my board. No negative things, just positive ones. It's a nice reminder that none of us are perfect, but each of us is valuable.

There is so much more to being a quality person than what society deems physically beautiful too. Looks are really only skin deep, as cliche as that sounds.

_Timmeh_

Random people on the street tell you your face is chubby and ugly? That's craziness.....

ilookthetype

Therapy

uberrach

Read this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Radical-Acceptance-Embracing-Heart-Buddha/dp/0553801678

“Believing that something is wrong with us is a deep and tenacious suffering,” says Tara Brach at the start of this illuminating book. This suffering emerges in crippling self-judgments and conflicts in our relationships, in addictions and perfectionism, in loneliness and overwork--all the forces that keep our lives constricted and unfulfilled. Radical Acceptance offers a path to freedom, including the day-to-day practical guidance developed over Dr. Brach’s twenty years of work with therapy clients and Buddhist students.

MelissaE27

I have been there many times and I have to say I still am.. I dont see what everybody else says they do... here is a few things I posted in a blog awhile back and trust me it helps..I have these throughout my house on stickies in my car in my purse as a reminder... YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL... never doubt that!

he following is what I have posted throughout my house.. Heres to the new me and new friends and Life!
1. I believe in me.
2. I am worth it
3. life is grand LIVE IT!
4. Do things I have never done
5. Make wonderful friends
6. I am Beautiful
7. I will DO this
8. Love Myself
9. Smile today has come!
10. life is what I make it!

MaraDiaz

1. End Negative Self talk - Also it's wicked hard to do. Don't say anything to yourself that you would not say to a 15 year old girl.
2. Have you thought about adding some daily meditation in?
3. Journaling 5 things you like about yourself, 10 things that you are grateful for and a sentence about why your life rules every morning.
4. Do something nice for someone else.

Note: I am really Really working on this with my own self-esteem issues!

I like tip number 1. I don't follow it, but I do like it!

mnwalkingqueen

First, I want to say what a great accomplishment with your weight loss. I also struggle the same way and I am learning a lot of it comes from how my family and others treated me in life. It is hard to retrain your brain to think differently. I'm sorry no great advice here cuz it's also an issue I have but just know your beauty is from the inside out not the opposite.

cjpg

If before anyone was born, God took them aside and asked "so... are you alright with this? Anything that needs changing?" we might never come into existence with all the changes we make to ourselves.
Hell, if anyone's played a game like Oblivion, Mass Effect, etc. with the character creation screens, they can attest to how annoying getting the 'perfect look' can be.

Personally, I love who I am and frankly couldn't care less how my body looks now and how it will look when I'm old and grey. The reason behind this is beauty is fleeting. The false conception of true beauty being only skin deep is an illusion for it escapes us all. An illusion the mass media perpetuates.

The only thing you need to love, accept and nurture is your sense of self-worth. And darlin', you're worth a whole lot more than you think. God would never have created you in the first place if that were untrue. (I'm not pushing religion down your throat BTW, I just personally make the association between myself and a higher power).

Another thing I always say to someone when they ask me 'how does my hair look?' or 'damn it, this arm is a bit longer than the other I'm a freak!' or anything ridiculous like that; I say this:
"How exactly do you think an alien from another planet would react to seeing humans? Like, all fleshy and what not. Even the ones we regard as 'the most beautiful' would be hideous to them! You're fine!!'

Lizzy_Sunflower

Therapy

Seriously. This. And don't stop looking for the right therapist until you KNOW you have clicked with this person. Just like anything else, there are good and bad therapists. but Therapy = Good

SexyCook

Every morning look in the mirror and give yourself a compliment. If you think you have beautiful eyes or lips tell yourself that....outloud!!! It may sound silly but eventually you will start to focus on those beautiful areas and your "flaws" will no longer be so evident. Plus who cares what others think! You need to love yourself first. Confidence radiates from the inside out: so if you think you're beautiful others will too!! :-)

Plus, let's face it when we lose weight our brains don't necessarily catch up to our physical appearance right away. So when you look in the mirror you may still see that "chubby" girl.

I couldn't have said this better....

The weight doesnt dictate the inner beauty within! You are a blessing to everyone you come in contact with...Whats not beautiful about that? Think about it...You Love you enough to start this journey of healthy living...Much love and positive energy sent your way Beautiful!