Healthy or Thin?

shakybabe

I'm seeing alot of posts where people mainly young women want to be really thin and light, rather than been a little heavier with muscle so I though I'd share my story.

I'm now 42, but in my 20's and 30's I was fit.. did loads of hiking, cycling, walked the family dog 2-3 times day etc.. cycled to work even walked there in snow (8 mile).. there was no reason to suspect I could be someone who might end up in a wheelchair one day.

But you never know what life is going to throw at you and unfortunately in my early 30's I started t develop symptoms of a neurological condition (Ataxia - Balance and Co-ordination problems) .. I had great balance previously I was good at skating I walked narrow ledges, suddenly I could barely keep my balance to get from my bed to my chair!

I also had thyroid problems and piled on weight.. now that oddly enough has saved me, cos as the condition progressed and the involuntary movements kicked in burning more energy than I was eating at the time (cos I didn't want to get any fatter - I was 16st at the time) I had plenty of spare fat for it to work through! .. and despite been overweight my muscles were still strong.. I was just not very well co-ordinated and could no longer walk safely outdoors.

I've had it 8 years now and only just recently got back into the healthy range for my height, only recently after intensive neuro physio have I regained some control over my movements enough to exercise and enjoy games on the Wii, to still be able to transfer independently, live independently.

My point is ... I know many others with my condition who were smaller than me when it started in them, they are much worse off, muscles have wasted, fatigue etc have to have everything done for them as they have no strength either.

However fit, healthy or fashionably thin you are at this moment in time.... You don't know what life is going to throw at you.. and the fitter your body is (even if that means heavier with a bit more muscle) the more chance you have of getting through it and surviving!

My Neuro is always amazed I'm still managing to live independently, do most things myself and my muscle hasn't wasted.. personally I think been fit before the condition kicked in is the reason why.. if I'd have been like 7 stone (78lbs) and just like a skinny model.. all bones... there's no way I'd still be here 8 years on! ... being healthy & fit is much more important!

lururu

I think your tenacity, bravery and indomitable spirit is very inspirational

I recently shocked my best friend and husband by telling them that I really want to get below my healthy weight range.

It's not vanity or anything like that which has prompted this desire. I just want doctors to take my condition seriously and I want my weight to be removed from the equation. Every doctor I have seen since my arthritis developed has blamed my weight, I wasn't heavy like I am now when it started, maybe just at the top end of my healthy weight range. All they ever say is 'lose weight', 'there is nothing we can do' , none of them have ever said 'we did this to you by experimenting on you and giving you the wrong advice and diagnosis on purpose'. It has always been blamed on me.
The thing is, if they ever bothered to read my medical file they would be able to work out why it happened, what the steps were that led to my current condition.

I think that my desire also stems from a need to be able to control something, they have shaped my body, left deformity and scars in their wake, but I need to see that I can shape my body too, that I am the master of my own ship.

I have to admit that I am really enjoying getting fitter as I progress through my weightloss journey and the extra endurance is very useful as a mum of two kids under 4 :P So maybe my desires will change over time? All I know is that right now I don't want my weight to be used as an excuse or a weapon against me ever again.

shakybabe

I think if you reach your healthy range though, you will have more firepower as far as the doctors are concerned, cos they then can't blame your weight whether its over or under.

People who are very thin with low muscle are high risk for osteoporosis too (crumbling of the spine).. if you already have arthritis in your joints you don't want to be going from one extreme to the other.

Stick with your goal of losing weight but aim for within your healthy range (even if its the lower end), if you aren't over or under, and strengthen your muscle and bones as much you can, they can't blame your weight and have to look elsewhere!

Knowing the medical profession and the issues I have had with them, if you go under weight.. that will then be the issue and they 'still wont be able to do anything or look any further!'

I was treated like it was in my head at first cos they couldn't find anything on MRI (they were looking for MS at first) and always felt that no-one believed me, it wasn't until about 4 years in when I was been assessed for a communication aid (it affects my speech muscles also) the guy needed a report from my Neuro and sent it along with his recommendation and sent me a copy of both.. that I saw my full diagnosis.. they'd never ever said. 'sorry we were wrong'.. I did think of sueing for compensation as I was in wheelchair by then and it was irreversible before I got any help!.. but was told my condition was so rare they couldn't have possibly predicted it, cos no-one had seen it before and my thyroid playing up at same time masked many symptoms and caused additional ones which confused them!

so I understand where you're coming from I have absolutely no faith in the medical profession at all and hate going to the doctors.. i don't go anymore unless the situation is life threatening (like an allergic reaction) i got fed up of been told, ' we don't know why you got this and there's nothing we can do'.

Lindsayrob

That sounds like a very healthy attitude if you'll pardon the pun! Health is definitely the goal for me - I've recently learned that I'm likely to need a kidney transplant in 2-5 years, and if anyone's giving up a kidney for me, I want it to have the best possible chance. I know 2-5 years is still some time away but it's not a fixed time, and the sooner I shape up, the better mental shape I'll be in, I reckon!
Congratulations on your physical achievements. What ever life throws at us, we can choose how to face it, and you're an inspiration!

shakybabe

Thank you!

Staying fit and strong will give you the best possible chance of getting through a transplant. I'm not sure of the recovery time but I think all spare muscle and strength will help the process along and get you back on your feet quicker after the event if it needed.

Good Luck! :flowerforyou:

Delicate

Congrats on your independence with having such a problem.

Health outweighs vanity any day.

If you don't have your health (mentally or physically), you end up with nothing anyway.