The Pearly Gates

WillPillageYourVillageForFood

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.
"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.

"I froze to death," says the second.

"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze
to death?"

"It's very uncomfortable at first," says the second man.

"You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and
toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb
and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you,
how did you die?"

"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my
wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home
unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone,
knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding
there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was
hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and
just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died."

The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.

"What do you mean?" asks the first man.

"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still
be alive."

WillPillageYourVillageForFood

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.
"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.

"I froze to death," says the second.

"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze
to death?"

"It's very uncomfortable at first," says the second man.

"You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and
toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb
and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you,
how did you die?"

"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my
wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home
unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone,
knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding
there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was
hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and
just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died."

The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.

"What do you mean?" asks the first man.

"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still
be alive."

TamTastic

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Love it! I needed that laugh today!! Thanks Cherry!!

MissNova

:laugh: Toooooo Funny! Thanks for the that!

TROUBLE2

I heard that same joke with a little twist though...

Three men waiting at the Pearly Gates get told my saint Peter that Heavin has reached its quota today, only room for one more today because they were not expecting all three of them, which ever one of them died the most horrible death gets admission to heaven that day the next two would have to wait till tomorrow.
"How'd you die?" Saint Peter asked the first man.
First man said "I like to run in the afternoon but before my run I do stretches on my balcony, you see I live on the 6th floor of this apartment building and the fresh air makes me feel better." when I was leaning over the balcony stretching my back, and I must have slipped. Luckily I caught the balcony below me, when out of nowhere comes this angry guy with a hammer and pounds on my fingers until I let go, luckily I landed in the bushes... I stand up and to my surprise a refrigerator falls out of the sky crushing me to death!"
Saint Peter nods his head in agreement that this was indeed a very brutal and horrible death.
"How'd you die?" Saint Peter asked the second man.
"You see, I knew thought my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. We lived on the 5th floor of this apartment building, and as I ran up to the bedroom, I found her alone, but THERE, out on the balcony was that *kitten*, hanging on to the edge trying to escape…
I ran back inside and grabbed my hammer, and proceeded to pound on his fingers, the little jerk let go and much to my surprise landed in the bushes 5 floors down with not a scratch on him, I was not about to let him get away so I grabbed the freezer and with all of the adrenaline in my system heaved it off the balcony and it landed on him, but not before I had a massive heart attack and died."
Saint Peter nods his head in agreement that this was indeed a very brutal and horrible death.
"How'd you die?" Saint Peter asked the third man.
“Get this, I am hiding naked in the freezer…” says the third man

kristinlough

:laugh: Needed that! it was great :drinker:

Anna_Banana

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Losing_It

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

cdngirl71

Very funny!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

tashjs21

kellch