Spouse not getting it?

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2

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  • robinhoward123
    robinhoward123 Posts: 106 Member
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    My husband doesn't support me, he thinks if i loss the weight that I'll leave him.
  • Cynduck
    Cynduck Posts: 255 Member
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    Right there with you and I cant talk to mine about changes either. He thinks I should be able to do this without really changing anything.
  • Alexdur85
    Alexdur85 Posts: 255 Member
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    My boyfriend tells me that's great.. and lately he's been trying to lose weight too and recently lost 20lbs and now reading this thread I should have been more excited for him. I get excited about exercise and he doesn't. This week I'm trying to burn at least 1,000 cals a day when I can and he just shakes his head because I'm at the gym twice that day or for two hours instead of my usual one hour, 500 cal burn.

    I roll my eyes when he gets to a new level on his game...he rolls his when I go to the gym longer than usual. We just have different interests. But he supports me in everything else so I really can't complain. He's a pretty good guy.
  • Cynduck
    Cynduck Posts: 255 Member
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    Btw congrats on reaching your goal. That is awesome.
  • Alexdur85
    Alexdur85 Posts: 255 Member
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    My husband doesn't support me, he thinks if i loss the weight that I'll leave him.

    Sometimes I think that's my boyfriend's fear too. He questions me anytime he see's a guy talking to me.. especially at the gym. He doesn't "like" one of the trainers at our gym because he checked my HRM and tightened my handlebars on the spin bike once.. seriously.. That's his reason.
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    My husband doesn't support me, he thinks if i loss the weight that I'll leave him.

    My husband joked so he said that it was a joke "When you lose all your weight, you're gonna leave me, aren't you?" I told him "My weight has never been the reason I'm with you or have stayed with you. If I leave you, it has nothing to do with weight, but I don't plan on going anywhere." I love the man, and want to be with no one but him. He hasn't made the comment anymore, so hopefully that's out of his mind.
  • Gshepmix83
    Gshepmix83 Posts: 99 Member
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    I guess all husbands, wives, bf/gf, or domestic partners just don't care or understand the struggles everybody goes through to change themselves for the better. We all wish they would show the struggling person more compassion and more praise but we have to face the facts that it's better to tell family members and friends about your weight loss than the person you're spending your life with.
  • PurelyTheRealMe
    PurelyTheRealMe Posts: 23
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    Yep. If he unintentionally loses a pound, he wants me to just about worship him. If I lose anything, big or small, he's like, "oh, good job, hey, you know who I saw today"? So frustrating. That's why I already love my MFP friends, lol.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    People who are not fat or never been fat will never get it.

    Sure, some will be supportive friends or a loving spouse, but unless faced with this challenge, few can relate.
  • moran1917
    moran1917 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    My husband wants me to be happy, as long as there is no sacrifice or pain involved. He will tell me you didn't eat enough today when my calorie count clearly says i did and i am not hungry. When it comes to working out he is all don't hurt yourself and if i get stiff and walk a bit funny he is upset that i am overdoing it. Idk how to make him understand that working out hurts, but it's not a bad thing. Idk how to make him understand that every now and then i am going to be hungry. I accept it as part of the process, why can't he?
  • gdr1976
    gdr1976 Posts: 460 Member
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    Same here, I get the "proud of you" or "looking great" but when I go to log my stuff in on my phone or we go grocery shopping and I'm reading labels I usually get a comment or 2. So it gets frustrating a lot of the times. Sometimes I get a big sigh when I say I'm going to the gym or for a walk if I don't feel like going to the gym.
  • rosecook425
    rosecook425 Posts: 50 Member
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    Funny I planted the HRM idea in my boyfriends head also. Right down to which one I want...insert link here kinda thing. Christmas day came and went. I was told its on order... lol UPS, FED ED or USPS has not dropped it off yet oh well
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    Funny I planted the HRM idea in my boyfriends head also. Right down to which one I want...insert link here kinda thing. Christmas day came and went. I was told its on order... lol UPS, FED ED or USPS has not dropped it off yet oh well

    That sucks, I've pointed out 2 I wanted, one is $40 and one is $28 I put it on all my Christmas lists, but either no one knows what I'm talking about or no one really cares lol. I got a mall gift card and it was only for $25 so Not enough for one lol.
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
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    I guess all husbands, wives, bf/gf, or domestic partners just don't care or understand the struggles everybody goes through to change themselves for the better. We all wish they would show the struggling person more compassion and more praise but we have to face the facts that it's better to tell family members and friends about your weight loss than the person you're spending your life with.

    That is incorrect.
  • Nikki582
    Nikki582 Posts: 561 Member
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    I roll my eyes when he gets to a new level on his game...he rolls his when I go to the gym longer than usual. We just have different interests. But he supports me in everything else so I really can't complain. He's a pretty good guy.
    Ding ding ding ding!! Correct Answer!
    I couldn't care less when my gamer hubby levels up or completes a mission - he still tells me and I still "that's great dear... oh so What are we having for dinner tonight?"
    And he tries hard to be excited for me, but I'm pretty sure his interests jsut don't lie in my running time PB/goal reached, or the amount of weights I stacked onto the leg press this morning, or how much I've lost thus far - I still tell him and he might go "Oh good job!" but then he goes "Can you find my work pants..." he supports and is right beside me as my cheer squad, but in reality he just doesn't care.
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
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    I don't know if my hubby really "gets it" but he pretends enough that it makes me happy!! LOL
  • jenny95662
    jenny95662 Posts: 997 Member
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    yea mine is the same i think it is cause he has been thin his whole life and does not understand what it is like to go through it.

    i agree about the gaming thing I dont care about his games but i do the same and listen and say he is doing great lol
  • IMDABOMBthe0wife0DABEAST
    IMDABOMBthe0wife0DABEAST Posts: 124 Member
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    Im sorry I can not really relate to the "unsupportive" hubby. Mine is my biggest fan and I his. Together we have lost almost 400lbs in 2 years and we are still going strong. MFP is a great support system and you are doing this for yourself. Everyone here is excited for each and everyone of us to reach our goals and milestones. Keep up with the good work that you are doing.
  • pucenavel
    pucenavel Posts: 972 Member
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    The fact that I'm cooking healthier (i.e. - less white grains, less meat, less processed foods) was actually the main topic of "the airing of the grievances" this year. My wife doesn't celebrate Festivus, but oddly enough, she always manages to pull off the "airing" every year.

    She's happy to see me getting healthier, but it seems as though, from her viewpoint, it's a knife in her back because she is overweight and at a poor fitness level.

    Today for lunch she had an entire bag of pizza rolls. But I'm keeping my mouth shut. Did any of you read the "And then the fight started..." post??
  • tonid76
    tonid76 Posts: 51
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    I think it must be a man thing...Not that its an excuse for them to be insensitive. Mine is not very supportive...and sometimes I think he intentionally tried to sabotage my efforts. I'm still truckin' along though. Congrats on reaching your goal!!

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