Obese sister doesn't care..

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  • skullgirl84
    skullgirl84 Posts: 36 Member
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    by example only...no words...no judgment

    ^^^THIS!!

    I AGREE!!!!!
  • LastSixtySix
    LastSixtySix Posts: 352 Member
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    by example only...no words...no judgment

    So true, especially for a teen who is trying to find her way in life and doing it "her way". That said, there's nothing to say you or anyone else who she might respect and listen to can't try and steer her into a more active lifestyle. For instance, when you spend time with her is that time active or more sedentary? You can always change up and do something more active, just make it fun so she'll want to do it again. . .and again. . .and again!

    Whatever, no one needs to encourage her by participating with her in coach potatoe things. Want to talk? "Sure. Come walk with me!"

    -Debra (the LastSixty)
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
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    Just lead by example.
  • SKINNYMESOON2B
    SKINNYMESOON2B Posts: 112 Member
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    My sister is 16, 5'2", and 200 lbs.... I'm worried about her health (alot of heart related problems, high blood pressure, and diabetes runs in my family) but every time I try to bring it up to her she acts like she doesn't care... Any tips on how to get through to her?

    Coming from my own personal experiance, I hated being fat at 180lbs, i hated being fat at 200lbs, at 220lbs i hated it, 240lbs i was disguested with myself, it wasn't until i went to the doctors at 268.6 pounds did i actually do something about it. Everyone has their own personal breaking point unfortunitly some refuse to see it, others ignore it, then you have people who act on it. Keep doing what your doing she will envenually see it. I seen me keep growing and its not that i didnt care, it was i wasnt happy with myself and i became depressed.
  • nalia08
    nalia08 Posts: 252
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    Use fun ways to get her to start moving. Like go to the mall with her and just window shop. Walking to various stores on opposites sides of the mall. The real deal is if she doesn't want to make a change, she won't.
  • hummzz
    hummzz Posts: 384 Member
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    My oldest daughter is home again after being gone a year. She's gone from a size 5 to a size 12 in just a year. Now that she's home I got on her about her weight gain and I only get met with tears and frustration. So what I do now is invite her to workout with me doing fun things like Zumba and I cook healthy meals. Its only been a few weeks but I'm hoping that she will jump on board and want to do it all the time.

    Good luck with your sister.
  • Sd0510
    Sd0510 Posts: 295 Member
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    Use fun ways to get her to start moving. Like go to the mall with her and just window shop. Walking to various stores on opposites sides of the mall. The real deal is if she doesn't want to make a change, she won't.

    I agree, and I know you said earlier you have her walk to the park or store sometimes. You should try that more often. I took my sister on a tour of my college, and we ended up walking up at least 9 different flights of stairs (in different buildings) and she was out of breath, but she did it.
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
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    Being short of breathe and moving slower than an elderly person on a scooter not enough for her to make a change?
  • jenluvsushi
    jenluvsushi Posts: 933 Member
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    In my opinion, the people closest to us are often the people we listen to the least. An example, I can give advice to my husband and he will totally blow me off like what I said was silly. Then about a month later he will start repeating what I said previously but only this time he thinks it's great advice because he read it in a magazine or heard it from a co-worker. It drives me nuts! I think that it will take someone who she isn't close with to set her straight....like maybe her doctor. I have a friend who I keep encouraging to lose weight with me (she has horrible health problems due to her weight) but she will not listen. All I can do is lead by example. I am scared for her but I know the more I push the more she will resist......just try to encourage her in non naggy ways....like ask her to join you for a 5k walk or something like that. Good luck!
  • gigiwaterloo
    gigiwaterloo Posts: 102 Member
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    As much as I hate to hear this, I agree with everyone else that it HAS to come from within. But I also know that if she sees you eating healthy & sees your accomplishments, at the VERY least she'll start becoming jealous of it and want it for herself. You can always ask her to go for a walk with you, to "talk" or maybe ask her to play an active game of something.. That's better than NOTHING. But don't take HER weight loss as your own, because unfortunately it's HER battle to fight. GOOD LUCK and I pray that she wakes up and realizes it before it's too late! I also pray that you can find peace in knowing that your heart is in the right place, whether she wants to hear it or not.
  • Dona_Maria
    Dona_Maria Posts: 78 Member
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    Until she is ready you can't force her to do it. My parents and brother pushed me for many years, and I just hated them for it. When I decided to do it for myself, then there was a change. Unless you want her to hate you, you need to back off and let her realize it herself.

    I agree with this post and others like it. If you want her to resent you keep nagging, otherwise when she is ready she will make a choice to change. All you can do is love her the way she is, that is what she needs support. I know it's tough but you know the toughest thing is for people who suppose to love you unconditionally don't show it. She knows she is overweight and if she’s happy so be it.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    If she doesn't want to do anything about it, let it go. When you care more than she does, it doesn't work.
    Enjoy her while she's still around.
  • Katbaran
    Katbaran Posts: 605 Member
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    I will start by saying I've only read part of the first page of replies to your topic.

    I was that fat sister for almost 40 years. No amount of cajoling, suggesting, gifting me with health books or trying to make me eat better worked. I was resentful, hurt and avoided my sister like the plague when she talked about exercise and diets.

    Until she is ready to make a change on her own, she won't. I saw that a few others said to lead by example. You are both young and she will see how much attention you get not only losing weight but getting more attention from men. Shallow, I know, but THAT might get her to want to change. She will also see how great you feel when you're bouncing around and strong and healthy. THEN you can step right in and show her the way! Just be there for her.

    Good luck!
  • lovelyrose11
    lovelyrose11 Posts: 609 Member
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    I am 5'3" and 199 lbs. My whole family is thin and fit and they are always on me about my weight. I totally understand why and I currently have lost 18 lbs. But, your sister may feel really embarrassed about her weight and she may be defensive. I felt this way for many years. I finally talked to my sister and told her that I felt like I embarrassed them and I was ashamed. She assured me they just wanted me to be happy and loved me no matter what my weight was. That was a huge turning point for me. To know they weren't disgusted and loved me no matter what. Maybe she just needs to know that. But, I agree with others as well...she has to want to do it for herself.
  • hemlock2010
    hemlock2010 Posts: 422 Member
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    My best-ever weight loss experience was 10 days in London with my big sister. We walked and took the underground EVERYWHERE, and packed our own breakfasts and lunches of things like fruit, cheese, crackers, and bottled water. I lost six pounds in ten days, and came home with a completely new appreciation of what relatively small changes can do. The thing is--none of the choices we made were about my weight. We walked and took the underground because that's what people do in London, and we packed breakfasts and lunches to save money on food so that we could spend money on other things. So it was a wonderful chance to be with my sister while it was happening, and when I got home I had a bunch of new ways of thinking about food and activity that I had learned for myself.
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
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    by example only...no words...no judgment

    Exactly this.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,708 Member
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    My sister is 16, 5'2", and 200 lbs.... I'm worried about her health (alot of heart related problems, high blood pressure, and diabetes runs in my family) but every time I try to bring it up to her she acts like she doesn't care... Any tips on how to get through to her?
    People who don't care usually are suffering from some sort of self confidence or depression. That should be addressed first.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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