'Friends' keep telling me to stop

dizzydi1968

When people say 'don't get any thinner' do they really mean 'don't get any thinner than ME'???
[/quote]Post your picture - let's see what your results look like.
Maybe these folks are right.

Anybody not posting a pic doesn't pass the smell test.
[/quote]

Fair point - I'm not great at IT and have spent most of my life avoiding cameras for obvious reasons!!

However I think I have managed to post a profile photo which was taken last night.

LilMissFoodie

For some people, it's jealousy. For others, it's concern.

I agree. It sounds like maybe at the moment, it is quite safe for you to lose a little more. Speaking from experience though - I was still a healthy weight when I had a dangerously low fat mass (and I was still trying to lose 10kg!). At the time I didn't take very well to the (very few I might add) people who told me that I didn't have any more weight to lose and that my gym habits were unhealthy but they were right and looking back on the photos, my lifestyle and eventually my injuries I can agree with them and appreciate that they were brave enough to voice their genuine concerns.

LORRIE22

When people comment about my weight, I always comment on theirs. :bigsmile:
It seems my weight is open for discussion, but not theirs. So I make sure to address their weight also. People don't expect this at all. It's funny. I get a mixed reaction.

I just tell them how much I have lost, then I ask them in a very nice way..."And how much do you plan on losing?"
The jealous and nosey ones get very uncomfortable discussing their own overweight. They turn around and walk away from me as fast as they can. And they never bring up my weight again for fear I'll mention theirs again.

:laugh:

But I have had a few nice people ask how I managed to lose, as they are inspired and tell me they need to lose also and need some advice. So then I lead them to the weight loss forums.
:flowerforyou:

MissSpuggz

Well, at the end of the day, if you're not happy with your current weight still then go to the size you want. Obviously you're old enough and sensible enough not to lose too much weight but just to be at the size you'll be most comfortable in. You're doing this for YOU, not your friends.

Just maybe take the next stage slowly, then it's not too difficult to make changes.

You've done an amazing job to get to where you are now so don't feel disheartened by other peoples comments.

Also, don't go on your weight, try to find out your body fat percentage and aim to lower that if that's the problem. Then you should keep your figure but tone up even more but maybe not to the point where you're a body builder!

Best of luck for whatever you choose to do. And you look amazing the way you are so on the other side of things, don't feel like you HAVE to lose weight. As long as you're healthy on the inside.

stylistchik

When people say 'don't get any thinner' do they really mean 'don't get any thinner than ME'???

Yep. People get jealous, or maybe they think you'll become a different person and not be friends anymore. Whatever their reason, you deserve to be healthy. Congrats!

cansmith80

I have the same issue. Everytime I turn down crappy food around certain people or talk about working out, I am asked why and told that I don't need to lose any more weight. I do have a healthy BMI, but I would love a lower one. I do ask others how much weight they think I should lose just because I feel like I can never get a true image of myself. However, my overall goal is to maintain a healthy lifestyle. In my opinion, as long as you are losing weight and exercising healthily, no one should question your goals.

DenverKos

I have the same issue. Everytime I turn down crappy food around certain people or talk about working out, I am asked why and told that I don't need to lose any more weight.

I've heard the same thing, and my response is "Thanks, and I'd like to keep it that way!"

Someone else posted that they weigh more than they look they do - same thing with me. When I went from 235 to 155, my in-laws told me I better stop, that I'm anorexic....I'm only 5'6" tall, and no where near an unhealthy weight at 155 (which is where I want to be again). I also muscle up fairly well

I do think it's a combination of jealousy and concern. Consider the source and how they say it. I worked in a place with a lot "catty" women and things would get ugly really fast when one of them would start losing weight and looking good - some of the others would get jealous and start trying to sabotage the person's success. Very sad that they just couldn't be happy for them.

bear_nakey

I don't have a problem with telling people what my weight is, and what is a healthy range for me. So when they say, "oh, your getting too thin" I simply say, " I weigh 158, and a healthy weight range for me is 135-155, so technically, I am still overweight. My goal is 145, which places me safely in the healthy range." Most of the time they state how they both couldn't tell that I was still considered overweight, and didn't know that the range for healthy was so wide. Then we usually go off on a discussion about healthy weight ranges etc. The point is, most people just aren't informed. Don't hesistate to give them the stats. I am not embarrassed about my weight, because I have come so far from where I once was. If they still give you flack, punch them in the FACE!!!! lol

2Bgoddess

People have a hard time visualizing. The see a drastic change, and try to extrapilate based on this, and they imagine a skeleton, and get all freaked out. I have two district groups of friends. The old friends, some of whom are chubby, tell me to stop. My friends who are into fitness have lost some and are toning up, they say keep it up. They are better at visualising me at a fit weight.

beccyleigh

I've also lost over 70lbs but am still over 200lbs but could stay at this weight & look "normal" not fat & not thin but I personally want to lose another 40lb for my own benefit. That will put me in a 100% healthy weight range & lower end of normal bmi but I often get comments about why I am losing weight when I am ok as I am. It is usually from people who never knew me at nearly 300lbs so to them I am an average weight women. I take it as a positive of the work done so far. It's nice to know people don't look at me like I am a giant heffa anymore.

I personally would just say thanks for your concern but I am losing more for my own benefit but appreciate the compliment that I look good.

My sis got down to under 170lbs after being way over 300lbs but decided that she was too skinny & gained 10 or so lbs to feel better. You will never know your ideal weight till you reach it so go with it till YOU are happy.

Sh0ewh0re7_BlingItOn

Jealousy, pure and simple. People (especially thinner one's) don't like to see someone that was bigger than them get smaller than them. Makes them feel like they are slacking!! I say do what makes YOU feel and look good and tell them to put down the snickerdoodle and pick up a weight once in a while!!! LOL

p.s. AMAZING JOB, keep up the great work!

xoxoxoxo, Sh0ewh0re7

dizzydi1968

Thanks guys, there are some really helpful (and funny) points here.

I'm not within my healthy range yet so will keep going and maybe find some nicer friends!!

healthyheart711

The people that are concerned are people that see you everyday probably. They are seeing you change right before their eyes. I knew a lady that lost a substantial amount of weight and constantly got told by her coworkers that she was too thin and she should gain some weight, even though she was at the high end of her healthy BMI. So she got another job where people didn't know about her previous weight and viola, her problem was solved. Not saying that you should drop your friends or something, just saying that these people are used to you being a certain way. Make yourself happy, get to your happy weight. Once they realize that you're not going to back down from your goal they will leave you alone.

cindybickler

Who cares what anyone thinks?! Just be the best "you" you can be. And I have found in my journey is sometimes you do have to get new friends and surround yourself with the people that live their lives to be the best person they can be! It is so easy to be a healthy happy person when you surround yourself with the same kind of people. at least th

soniaa777

do what you want to do. I have the same problem. i am still obese and trying to get to a healthy range and have family and friends saying "oh your not fat anymore" and offering cookies and cakes etc. Stick to your plan.

SabrinaJL

When I was home for xmas, my whole family kept telling me I don't need to lose more weight, but I think that's just because they're used to seeing me obese and now that I'm not, I look much better than i did before. But looking much better doesn't mean I'm at where I need to be. I'm still well in the overweight category and still on blood pressure meds. I told them as much. This isn't about looks for me, it's about health.

Gerald_King

Ignore other people its how you feel that counts

CoraGregoryCPA

It has to be secret jealousy.

When I was working out twice a day (because i wanted to and I split my workout into two workouts- I hadn't gone crazy) and counting everything I ate, my sister said "Aren't you going a little too far with this?". She lives 800 miles away, what does she know?

Secret Jealousy. Sometimes it is the only way for them to continue to try to be better than you. I personally think anyone that wants to say anything bad about what you are doing and what you are enjoying, should not be someone you should associate with. If I could get away from my sister then I would!

When we were at breakfast for christmas morning. I said "I'll be back to counting calories as of tomorrow" (I took a week off). She said "Yeah, right!". My dad put her in her place and reminded her of how well I've been doing. I consider her an atkins chubby addict loser, oh and 37 years old! sorry to be so mean, but she needs to stop. I just vented.. done venting

TheFitHooker

I think for some it is jealousy, but then others they haven't seen you as small as you are and to them they think you honestly look good how you are. My uncle told me if I lost much more I was going to melt away, I just recently reached over weight status, I still have 48lbs to go.

My uncle I know is not jealous of me, he is very proud of me but I do believe in his eyes since I'm officially 3lbs from prepregnancy weight, to him I look good, and don't need to lose too much more. But to me I have goals.

I honestly do not think it's anyone's place to tell an over weight person to go on a diet or anyone's place to tell a thin person to quit working out. It's our bodies we will do with it what we will .

Amber82479

Don't let them slow you down or keep you from accomplishing your goals. You've made amazing progress and you should keep going! I think maybe because you've changed so drastically it takes others out of their comfort zone. You no longer look like the woman that they know and maybe they struggle with that. And, of course, I'm sure that some people see how hard you're working and what you're accomplishing and they're envious and feeling like failures themselves. That typically will make a person try to bring you down with them. Don't let them take your drive and motivation, you can do this!!!

RenCara

When I lost my weight people questioned whether I was 'sick' or anorexic. It got so bad that I would force myself to eat in public so that the rummors would stop. Don't let others do that to you. By happy for your accomplishment and understand that some people prefer to think the worse instead of congratulating you on your effort.

WWH_AJ

I get this too. I was up to 210 pounds. I've lost 55 pounds and want to lose another 25. My goal is 130. I weighed less than 130 all through my 20's and 30's so I don't understand why people think I should settle for 155 now! I'm happy with what I've done and if I don't lose anymore I know I will still be happy with what I've done, but I'm not going to stop logging and exercising (even when I get to 130), so I'm bound to lose more because at 155 there is still a lot of fat on my frame. I'm 5'4" and my "healthy" weight on the BMI scale is 107 - 145.

You know, after losing 71 lbs, how much food food it right for you in the course of a day. As long as you are not starving or purging yourself, your body will reach the weight that is right for your frame.

^^^ this! I started this weighing 207 lbs. I'm currently 158. I want to be 135 and I'm 5'2. I'm thrilled with how far I've come, but I know I can get close to 135 if I try for it. There is still a lot of fat everywhere and I want to tone and lose some more.

sarahp86

Wow! You look incredible for 43! Don't listen to the haters!! You know your own body, listen to it and do what you feel is right