PLEASE HELP! Struggling with cal allowance!

niknak2308

So I've been losing weight for various reasons, but the one which is keeping me in check is being a bridesmaid at my best friend's wedding and having to fit into the size 12 dress she has bought me.

I've lost 22lbs since beginning of October bringing my current weight to 161lbs a 5ft3. I'm currently in a size 14, although some 12 tops fit well too (but haven't dared try size 12 jeans yet for fear of failure lol).

There will be 2 bridesmaids, me and another girl. I requested a size 12 dress, her other bridesmaid asked for a 10 as she was planning on losing some weight before the wedding. Well the trouble is my friend now tells me she got the sizes wrong and she has a size 14 and a size 10, AND the other bridesmaid hasn't lost the weight and now fits the size 14 perfectly, leaving me with the size 10 (unless I insist on having the 14 that I know will be too big for me come the wedding).

So I have asked her to send them both down so I can try them on and see how big/small they come up (eg a large 10 I see as acheivable but a small one, hmm :ohwell: )

I'm having trouble working out my calorie allowance to incorporate acheiving a high loss each week.

My BMR is 1,431 (says MFP) and I am exclusively breastfeeding my 1yr old who loves her milk, so according to MFP I can add another 500cals to my allowance, bringing it to 1931.

So am I right in thinking that to lose 2lb a week (which still would be less than I would ideally hope for) I would have to consume 1000 less cals per day than my 1931 allowance?

But then I'd only be on 931cals a day which is under this mystery 1,200 figure, prompting me to question how exercise calories would figure into the equation?

Could I for example earn 1000 cals extra from exercise daily , still consume 1,931 and see an average 2lb/wk loss?
My head is spinning... Any help would be appreciated :flowerforyou:

TavistockToad

2 pounds a week is a lot to try and lose when yo uonly have about 20lbs to go... i would go with the 1900 cals, and a really good work out routine with plenty of strength training, but then that depends if you have the time to work out for an hour a day.

personally i think your friend should order you a dress in the size you wanted instead of pressurising you into losing a lot of weight!

melaniecheeks

When is the wedding?

Since you're breastfeeding, it's important that you get enough nutrients for both you and baby. Try not to get too confused by all the figures - it's a bit more of an estimate, trial and error than an exact mathematical calculation.

koosdel

Is this a competition?

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I can't believe anyone would ask a bridesmaid to lose weight for the wedding. Talk about pressure. Any way she can send the dress back? I would definitely explore that option, especially if she or the dress shop made the mistake in ordering. Sometimes those dresses can be let out as much as an inch, so that might be worth a look as well. There's no reason why you should be suffering if the other bridesmaid is the one who can't fit into the dress she ordered. I think I'd be the mean one here, since you are breastfeeding and severely cutting your calories while being the only source of nutrition for your baby seems like a bad idea.

srp2011

I agree with the others - I think you should go back to your friend and tell her to get you the dress in the right size that you originally requested. At 5'3, with only 20 lbs to go, 2 lbs a week is an unrealistic goal. On top of that, you're breastfeeding, and you really don't want to mess with your baby not getting enough nutrients and calories (at least I hope you don't :-) ). A net of 931 cals would be way too low for your height and breastfeeding status. Not only could it mess up your metabolism, it could also harm your baby. You can try high-intensity interval training to up your calorie burn, but exercise is usually only a small percentage of weight loss. Far better to set a realistic goal and lose weight in a healthy way, albeit slower, than try something extreme for a friend's wedding - no friend is worth your health, and if they think the hassle of exchanging a dress that they or the dress shop messed up on is more important than your health, they don't sound like a great friend :-)

ChasingHaven

This does seem so unfair. The other bridesmaid requested the 10- she should be the one scrambling to fit in that dress!

I'd try to up your exercise and see if that works rather than trying to cut 1000 calories. Perhaps cutting 600 calories or just a pinch more might be something you could try too. Play with the combinations to see what you're comfortable with and how it works. Good luck!

Jess5825

One other option is alterations. I've hear a bridesmaid dress can be let out a size or 2, and taken in like 4 sizes or something like that.

nikkirenee79

You need to tell your best friend to fix the problem and get the right dress. She is being totally unrealistic in expecting you to squeeze into the WRONG dress.

niknak2308

Thanks for all your replies

The wedding is the middle of April, so I'd have to lose the same amount that I've lost already in the same time period so I don't really think that's too unacheivable if I upped my exercise to boost the rate I'm currently losing.

I can totally see what you are all saying about getting it altered - I probably will end up looking into it if I opt for the smaller of the two. Of course I don't know how big/small the dress will be yet. The dresses were bought at a gd price as they were end of line hence not being able to source another at a different size.

I mean, I'm aiming to get to my goal at a good healthy rate, but obviously still feeding my daughter is the priority which is why I was asking about nutrition versus exercise calories.

I'll tell her to send them both down and see what they are like. As a few of you have said there's no way I'll compromise little one's nutrition so I'm not going to be silly and cut stupidly back on food! She does have a healthy diet from her solids though, and has her full 3 meals and snacks throughout the day so it's not like she relies solely on my milk.

I think what I'll do is up my exercise intensity and amount, drink lots more water and make a point of not eating half/majority of my exercise cals back :flowerforyou:

Thank you everyone, nice to be able to hear lots of opinions!

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

Good luck-- I hope it works out for you. Just remember that it can be harder to lose the last twenty than it was the first twenty. And yes, definitely look at the dresses! Sometimes wedding wear is actually cut quite a bit smaller than "normal" clothes.

If all else fails just let the other girl get another dress. There's no hard and fast rule that they have to match. I know people can get pretty intense about their weddings, but personally I'd rather have a bridesmaid in a dress that looks good on her than one trying to squeeze into something too tight. My maid of honor bought her dress for my wedding the week before. lol

Lolamako

I am 5'4 and have less than 20lbs to lose, having lost 25+ already. I can say, like many others, the closer you get the harder it gets. I now am going off of my measurements and not my weight a that is just a let down after having such steady losses.

You might try doing some hard body weight work, like the workouts from BodyRock.tv, which are free. You can either use a free app on your phone, or google "free tabata timer" for the HIIT.

The plus is that those workouts are very short, 12-18 minutes for most, and they have longer ones to choose from too. Pop Pilates on YouTube is also hard, free and great. If I am really short on time I'll maybe do a Pop Kicks video and a butt one. Just to get some blood flowing and not feel like a total lazy bum.

I do think you could get into the 10 by April. Even if you ask her to get the right size, which you have every right to do, it might not be a bad thing to have the 10 on hand and try it on every few weeks to keep yourself on track.

It all depends, would you be a stressed mess? Or do you think you can handle the pressure in a healthy way, and use it as a motivator?

Hambone23

Alterations work. Usually they can let out a dress one size. Now, don't you dare see that as a failure. Instead, see it as a ridiculous goal that was forced on you. In the meantime, work on your goals, have the dress altered. Heck, maybe you'll need to alter it again because it's too big. Either way, do what's best for you. Under 1,200 is crazy. Also, I'd have your friend send the dress back for the right dress size if it comes down to it, especially if you're paying for it. It's not your fault but hers.

mareowner

Of course you can go less... just have to combat fatigue and figure out how to keep muscles. Many of us here do it too and we pound to protein and ensure we are hydrated. As far as breast feeding, I would ask a doctor.

Sambo004

Just remember that if you cut your calorie intake too much you will affect your milk supply. Good luck!

niknak2308

Thanks for the support again everyone

@Lolamako - Brilliant links and very useful for me in particular as it's hard grabbing more than half hr with the kids around! And I'd definitely see fitting into it as a motivator - I'm very competitive with myself, and having a tangible goal that will require effort to reach, to me, it'd be all the sweeter acheiving it!

@mareowner - Can I ask what the "pound to protein" thing is that you mentioned? I really must up my fluids too as I'm not great at that to be honest.

Thank you all again:flowerforyou:

melaniecheeks

I think the "pound to protein" is the rough guide to get 1g protein for each pound of lean body weight you'd like. That usually ends up around 100g protein per day.