A New Year's Love Letter: To The Ones I Love Most

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Oh man, it's New Year's. January 1st, 2012. The end to a five-week culturally-mandated binge eating fest...and the beginning of a fresh start. Most people I know will set a New Year's resolution, and keep it for all of a week. If that. I, however, have proved in the past to be pretty good at keeping New Year's resolutions. I'm a planner, and having big expectations behind an event and a date helps me somehow. For example…

My 2010 New Year's resolution was to stop biting my nails. It's a nasty habit, makes my already chubby fingers look even uglier, and almost guarantees that you WILL catch that flu bug going around. I am proud to say I no longer bite my fingernails. I am healthier, I have prettier hands, and I'm now much more flexible (getting to your toenails is harder that it seems!). Just kidding on that last part. It’s actually pretty easy.

For the start of last year, I tackled an even bigger challenge, and I vowed to stop smoking. Also a nasty habit, I can't even count the number of reasons not smoking has been such a huge benefit for me. I wavered a bit during the summer, when my grandmother died, but I promised myself on July 4th, Independence Day, that I would stop again. Significant dates, for some reason, seem really help my resolve. I have not smoked a single cigarette since July 5th, 2011.

For this year, it's gonna be the real deal. I pledge, here and now, that I will do what I have wanted to do for over 10 years...I will lose weight. And I will not just lose weight, but I will exercise, and I will become a fit and happy person. Beautiful, inside and out.

I am 29. This is the last year of my twenties. I refuse to go into my 30's unhappy, unhealthy, and meh. My 30's will not be meh.

I will turn 30 on November 4th of this year, and by that time, I hope to be 100 pounds lighter. I can do this. I can totally lose 100 pounds in 11 months.

As I started this blog post, I glanced back at some of my other posts...my most recent post previous to this one was the one I wrote last summer when my grandmother passed. I talked about all of the food everyone was sending, and how it was hurting my resolve, and how I'm sure I was pissing off the ones I love most by refusing their treats. Until I caved, of course. But, I'm here now to share with you a secret that I've held for probably most of my life. And it is this: I lied about the ones I love most. The ones I love most are not my family, it's not my friends, hell, it's not even me. It's food.

I tell you now, I am absolutely in love with food.

No romance novel can match the passion in which I have given my life over to food. I say it with such bravado, but in all honesty, it’s no joke. I have chosen food over careers, I have chosen food over love, I have chosen food over happiness. Over, and over, and over again. And my love affair with food has to stop. It’s expensive, it is depressing, and it will slowly but surely kill me. So, to kick off the New Year and my resolution to love ME, I have decided to write a love letter to the ones I love most...the ones most near and dear to my heart (and stomach). And I am saying goodbye. For good.

To kick things off, I’ll start with...

Jimmy John's: Oh Jimmy, how I love you so. Your drivers come to my house so often that they know the route by heart, and they get here in under 10 minutes. I tip well. I have had at least two of your drivers recognize me on the street and call me out by name as one would a friend. And it's not just that I love you, my cat loves you too. She knows that with every Jimmy John's order, she gets a cat toy. Wadded up Jimmy John's wrappers make the best balls for playing fetch (yes, my cat plays fetch). I love you Jimmy. Keep on keepin' on. My ex was right, bearded guys DO make the tastiest sandwiches. Which leads me to...

Bacon: We are so close, aren't we? Jimmy John's makes it possible for us to be together almost every day. That Ultimate Porker, with Applewood smoked ham and lettuce and tomato and mayo, and then you...you're the showcase. And scallops? They just aren't as good without you wrapped around them. You're the best breakfast food. Biscuits and gravy, pancakes, omelets...they’ve got nothing on you. Stay crispy.

Cheese: You’ve been there for me since the early days, and man, are you tasty. You come in so many different varieties, mild, sharp, bleu, goat, and I love them all. I’ll miss you guys. Except for Limburger. He’s the stinky cousin no one wants at the party. And speaking of cheese...

Cheesecake: Oh, we've had quite the love affair, haven't we? How many times have I snuck off to The Bistro Market downtown just to buy one or two slices of you, fresh from the bakery? I remember going downtown in my PJ's on a Saturday night, the area bustling with excitement and activity from the bars in the area, and I would slink into the market thru the side door just to spend the night with you. I cheated on my boyfriend with you. He never knew the extent of our relationship, the times that, though I promised I was eating right, I would hide you in my fridge and when noticed, deny you were mine. I'd tell him you belonged to my roommate, but oh no, you belonged to me. I'll miss you.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups: It doesn't matter if you come standard, mini-sized, Easter Egg-shaped, Pumpkin-shaped, or Christmas-tree shaped (my personal favorite)...you're just so good. Your marriage of peanut butter and chocolate is a match made in heaven. May you never get a divorce

Pizza: Wow, never on this earth has there ever been, or will ever be, a food as versatile and varied as you. Frozen, fresh, delivery, carry-out, thin crust, deep dish, stuffed crust...oh stuffed crust. You're in a league by yourself. I mean, for Christ's sake, two major cities are even divided over which version of you is the best. Chicago-style or New York? I personally think New York wins...I love thin crust...but I wouldn't kick Chicago out of bed. Literally, I really enjoy spending an afternoon in bed doing nothing but making sweet, sweet love to you. We've had some good times, you and I. Some of the best. It is hard to say goodbye, but I must. No, really, I must.

Dr. Pepper: While you don’t really have a medical license, you sure have made me feel better in times past. We’ve had an on-again, off-again relationship over the years. I know it must have hurt when I switched to your cousin Diet, and most recently, your little brother, 10. But you should know, it’s really just an attempt to get back to you, with less guilt. You’ll always hold a special, syrupy place in my heart. Speaking of beverages, I’m also sad to say goodbye to…

Beer: It’s only been recently that we’ve had a connection. I swore for years I would never like you, but I was always told you were an “acquired taste”. Well, one fateful day, while living in Seattle, I was introduced to Mac & Jack’s Amber Ale. It tasted like heaven. So did Hale’s Cream Ale, and I was so sad when I moved back to my hometown, and could no longer be with you. However, I then found Leinenkugal’s Sunset Wheat…and never looked back. We’ve had some crazy times, you and I, and I have often loved you for a night, then cursed your name in the morning. Though we’ve had some ragers, they cannot continue. You have given me a bonafide beer gut, and that’s not cool man, NOT COOL.

Pasta: Drizzled with marinara, garlic butter sauce, or pesto, you are simply the best. You come in all shapes and sizes, bowtie, spaghetti, ravioli, penne (my favorite)…I really do love you. But unfortunately, it doesn’t matter if you’re white or whole wheat, you just aren’t that good for me. I’m sorry. Don’t take it personally.

And last, but not least…

Bread: I’d rather be with you than with any of the others. Sending me to bed with only a dried crust of bread is my kind of punishment. You truly are the best. Scarecrow, I’ll miss you most of all.

Goodbye my loves. It is time now to embrace another love…me.

Happy 2012 to you!

Lita

Replies

  • Hummmingbird
    Hummmingbird Posts: 337 Member
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    Oh how sad, I need to break up with pretty much all of the loves that you have as well. Except beer and soda :( but cheese oh cheese how i will miss you so!
  • I love this! Good for you and please keep us posted on your progress! You have taken the first step of any recovery program: admission :)

    Good luck, I look forward to reading more about your breakups in the future......