Body Dysmorphia

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So... I'm 5'7", 147 pounds and I wear a size 6/8 pant... When I see women my height and weight, I don't think they need to lose weight. In fact, they usually look lean and healthy... Which makes me wonder... Do I look like that? When I see myself in the mirror, I what I see looks sooooo much larger than what the logical part of my brain knows that I am. I feel flabby and disgusting. I know that part of that is because I do struggle with terrible cellulite and stretch marks, so the image in the mirror, no matter how thin will never be what I want it to be, but still. I think that I suffer from mild body dysmorphic disorder, which is basically when your self perception is completely skewed from reality in one way or another.

My question is... Do any of you feel this way? Any advice on how to bring my perception more in line with reality? It's something I've struggled with for many years, without much success in changing.
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Replies

  • sethandjane
    sethandjane Posts: 74 Member
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    Hey chica - GREAT job today on your working out and eating/logging - you kicked some seious butt!!!

    It's funny - I'm 5'6", and at my most athletic in the military I was about 145 - and I still felt overweight compared to other girls I was in the military with. But not, when I see other "women" - especially on the show "Biggest Loser" who are about my height and weighing in about 150-160, I think they look great -

    So I don't have an answer for you other than if you would be happier with yourself and have more confidence 10 lbs lighter, I say go for it - and you are well on your way!!!

    ((good vibes your way)) :)
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
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    Mine is opposite. I don't feel as big as I am...then I see a picture and am horrified.

    Even at my thinnest, I felt huge. Now I'd give anything to be that size again!
  • calamitydown
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    My friend and I actually had this conversation today! I still feel so huge after losing 25 lbs. I can see the difference in my clothes not fitting as tightly anymore, but once I see myself in the mirror...well, we won't go there.

    I think that gaining a positive body image is even harder than losing the weight!
  • brindlechewy
    brindlechewy Posts: 84 Member
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    Many people struggle with similar feelings, especially women. We're all very hard on ourselves. I think a lot of it comes from how we were treated or mistreated as adolescents. Although I'm in better shape now than I've ever been in my life, I still see myself as the "ugly fat girl" as which I was labeled as for most of my childhood. Just keep in mind that the people to whom you're comparing yourself are most likely looking at you and hoping that they look as good as you do, too.:smile:
  • Amber82479
    Amber82479 Posts: 629 Member
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    Hmmm... Well I'm sorry to hear that this seems to be a fairly common issue :( Thanks for your support... I'm glad to know I'm not alone, even though I wish you all didn't feel the same way.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
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    I've always felt this way. I felt this way at my heaviest, and I felt this way at my lightest (122 lbs).
    I'm 5'3" and 125 lbs. Everyone says I look great, but if I have the slightest muffin top my brain is like "you hideous fat cow I can't believe you'd wear that." Logically, I know I am healthy, but it's still hard sometimes.

    I'm not sure if this will help, but it is a GREAT documentary I watched in one of my classes, and I was sitting there thinking "THAT'S ME" the whole time. It's called Killing Us Softly 4 (the 4 is just the most recent one). Women in advertising. It's got some great perspective.

    Part 1: http://youtu.be/1ujySz-_NFQ

    Part 2: http://youtu.be/E4-1xCf3I7U
  • halfpint78
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    I've been accused of suffering from body dysmorphia as well. The logical part of my brain tells me I am not that big and I am in a healthy range for my height. Then I see a photo and think I look short and dumpy. I think it's a fairly normal way to feel to be honest. I suppose if we focus more on feeling fit and healthy rather than looking 'thin' it might combat it :)
  • victoria233
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    We really are our own worst enemy. I used to weigh about 187-190, and a couple of years ago I got down to 155, But in my mind I still weighed the 187....it hard to change the way you think when you have had that mind set for so long :(
  • monroe61
    monroe61 Posts: 620 Member
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    Mine is opposite. I don't feel as big as I am...then I see a picture and am horrified.

    Even at my thinnest, I felt huge. Now I'd give anything to be that size again!

    Exactly this!!!

    I do feel that you are always going to find something "wrong" with your body no matter what. Like you already pointed out stretch marks...etc! That is the same with me no matter how much I work out or lose weight I will still have the battle scars of children :) LOL
  • Mama_CAEI
    Mama_CAEI Posts: 235
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    Mine is opposite. I don't feel as big as I am...then I see a picture and am horrified.

    ^This, exactly. At my heaviest, I wasn't seeing myself as I really was. I was totally in denial. It was having to shop for larger clothing back in the spring that made me realize what I had allowed to happen. (It wasn't just "baby weight" anymore!!) After I'd lost about 25 lbs, the image in the mirror matched the one in my head. Now I look and feel even better!! (I still have some toning to do, but I'm quite happy with the number on the scale these days! And the size of my clothing!)
    I hope you can start to appreciate your hard work and results too!!
  • Adina81
    Adina81 Posts: 252 Member
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    I agree, I feel no where near as big as I look in pictures when I see myself :(
    I think it would make a huge difference in me actually sticking with my goal of losing weight.

    I was 150lbs and have jumped up to 190 and am still pretty active....

    Maybe we should all take pictures of ourselves each morning so that we can have a 'reality check'
  • Moonbeamlissie
    Moonbeamlissie Posts: 504 Member
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    I have went from an 18 to a 4/6 and I still feel HUGE!!!! I look in the mirror and I am just stunned at how big my belly still is... all the while ppl are telling me that I am skinny and to watch out because you don't want to get too thin and blah blah blah... so yes I feel the same way you do!
  • regthelittleone
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    Yep!!!! I feel like that everyday of my life. ( I suffered from a eating disorder when I was younger & that completely messed with my head). I look in the mirror and see fat, ugly, saggy skin ect..... :( . I just got to the point where I just accept it ( sad I know). I would love advice on how to change it - if you even can!!???
  • Namaste1983
    Namaste1983 Posts: 603 Member
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    MY MOTHER HAS SUGGESTED I GO FOR BODY IMAGE COUNSELING. WHEN I SEE PICTURES OF MYSELF I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY SIZE, IT'S THE DAY TO DAY MOMENTS WHERE I FEEL ABOUT 40 POUNDS HEAVIER THAN I AM. I STRUGGLE MOST WITH MY FACE BECAUSE IT''S GONE FROM ROUND TO SHARP AND DEFLATED IN MY OPINION. PEOPLE AROUND ME SAY I'M A 10 OR I'M SO TINY BUT I FEEL LIKE A 16-18. I LOOK AT THE TAGS ON MY CLOTHES AND THEY ARE NOT 16'S, NO XLARGES. I KNOW I'M SMALLER BUT MY BRAIN HASN'T FULLY CAUGHT UP WITH IT. I GO THROUGH PHASES IT SEEMS, EVERY 50 POUNDS TAKES A FEW MONTHS OF ADJUSTING AND "SETTLING" INTO MY NEW BODY.
  • allie_girl
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    I am in counseling for Body Dysmorphic disorder. It's helping.

    I still have to confess I am sitting here in size 4 pants almost in tears because I feel like my fat stomach is pudging out over the top.
  • cloveraz
    cloveraz Posts: 332 Member
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    I've been starting to worry about this, also. I was looking over high school pictures from 1993 and couldn't believe how thin I was. Yet, during those High School years, I thought I was huge. 19 years later, I really am HUGE...I don't think the self criticism is ever going to go away. Self confidence has never been my strong point.
  • kburns0709
    kburns0709 Posts: 297 Member
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    i definitely struggle with this, i think when you've been big your whole life its weird for you to grasp the concept of being smaller, at least thats how it is for me
    what helps me is to look at my clothes because they look so small and then I'm like oh **** ok
  • LethaSue
    LethaSue Posts: 285 Member
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    I can imagine at that weight you would look very thin to me. A small clothing size, and on the tall and skinny side. I also can't imagine I am the weight I am. I am 300 lbs. and while I know I am big, when I see a picture or catch a glance in a reflection from a store glass, I am discusted and mortified. I seem to swere that pictures of me are off, and then I tell my brain, it has to be correct because all the other pictures of people and dogs and what ever look exactly as they do.
    When I set my weight goal, I set it for 180, because one of my daughters is 180 and she is alittle shorter than myself and she looks awsome at her weight. She of course wants to lose weight. I look at the charts and for myself that would still be obese. So when I get there, I will make corrections if they are needed. 180 sounds hefty and through my life when I was 180, I felt like a small cow. I can even remember being 140 and feeling like the number was something to be ashamed of. I see people that weigh 140 now and I think, how is that possible because they look so so small. I think these numbers got planted in our heads when we were young or something and we expect to see a number that is what we precieved it to be. Like somewhere in our head is a number say like 105, or 110 or maybe 125, that we thought a woman should weigh, and we expect that number.
  • TheBakerGirl
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    This is such a difficult topic for all of us! Don't worry, you aren't alone. I know I'm guilty of comparing myself to other women and trying to figure out what my body must look like to someone else, and I'm sure my perception is way off from reality! I think this is an impossible task though because we're all so different. A woman of your weight who is pure muscle is going to look at lot smaller than a woman at your weight who doesn't have much muscle. Not to mention, bodies are just plain different. We all carry weight in different places. Some people have really big heads too!

    What I'm guilty of, more so than comparing my body to other women, is comparing it to that of my former self. I constantly think back to how I looked ten years ago and the clothes I wore then. I have to remind myself that I will never be that girl again, and it isn't fair to hold my current self to that standard. Yes, I can achieve that weight again (if I work my *kitten* off and starve myself), but I won't be happy with it because it won't look the same on the current me. I'll probably never wear size 2 jeans again. I'll probably never weigh under 130lbs again. But it's okay. Those are just numbers. I think we are better off focusing on how we feel. If you have energy, feel healthy, can bend over to tie your shoes without having to tuck the top of your pants over a roll, and can do 30 minutes of cardio...you should feel great about yourself!!
  • get0fit0freak
    get0fit0freak Posts: 18 Member
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    I also have this. I have banned myself from looking at my body in the mirror undressed. I have lost 85lbs in my head I know the scales say but I still see my body as HUGE. My resolution for the new year is to learn to love myself its going to take alot of work but Im determined to do it.