To All the New Year's Resolutioners!

chrischinchilla

I know a lot of people have joined MFP with the New Year's resolution that "This will be the year that I finally get fit!" Hey, it's a great resolution! And the fact is, people CAN and DO stick to it! But another unfortunate fact is that many people DON'T stick to it, and by Jan. 5th or so, they've already given up, even if they haven't admitted it to themselves yet. Now, I know I'm sticking my nose into your business, but if you're a New Year's Resolutioner, I'd like to offer you some advice that has helped me get where I am now, and is helping me stay focused on where I want to go. If you think I should mind my own business, then please simply ignore this bulletin. But if you're interested, read on!

1. DON'T build a support group yet.
You heard me: DON'T build a support group! This is the time when you have to make the commitment to yourself, and no "accountability buddy" can do that for you. You have to prove to yourself that you can do this ON YOUR OWN, without anyone there saying, "It's okay that you overate again today," and "Work was hectic? Yeah, I skipped my workout because of that, too." DON'T surround yourself with people who are "in the same boat you are." You want to get OUT of that boat, and that responsibility lies solely with you. Your goal: lose 5 to 10 lbs over the course of 3 to 10 weeks (depending on how many pounds per week you want to lose) BY YOURSELF, with NO support group! Prove to yourself that you have what it takes.

2. DON'T talk the talk. WALK THE WALK!
Actions speak louder than words. By all means, share your successes with friends--but ONLY your successes. Don't tell people, "Tomorrow, I'm gonna start walking for an hour every day!" Instead, tell them a week later, "This past week, I walked EVERY DAY for 60 minutes! I stuck to my diet plan the entire week! I've dropped 2 pounds already and I feel great!" But here's the key: DON'T start to share your successes until you know that it's becoming a habit. For example, you did a week of diet and exercise? Way to go! But can you do two weeks? How about three? You sure you'll still be walking and dieting in week four, or is that when it suddenly "gets too cold outside" and "work got too busy"? My tip: stick to your regimen for 21 days--I've heard that's how long it takes to form a habit. 21 days and 5 or more pounds later, then you can start sharing your successes! Now, to build that support group...

3. NOW build your support group!
For me, it was 10 lbs. I made myself lose 10 lbs through constant proper diet and exercise before I went looking for my support group. And here's why.... The fact is, humans are traders--in business, in friendship, in love. We want to exchange value for value. In business, we measure values in dollars. In friendship, we measure values in shared interests and mutual affection. In love, we measure values in the supreme acknowledgement of and devotion to the beautiful character of the one we love. We expect to gain benefit from all of our relationships--business, friendship, and love--in whatever the proper currency--money, affection, devotion. It's the same with fitness. When you build a support group, you want a benefit from them: support. But what do you have to offer them? The answer should be: commitment. And not commitment to them; commitment to YOURSELF. You see, the proper type of support group is a group full of people who are COMMITTED TO THEMSELVES, who demand the best of themselves, who have formed the habits of fitness and who work hard to maintain those habits. If you want THEIR company, you better be able to trade value for value, and show them that YOU are also committed. When I finally lost 10 lbs (it took about a month and a half), that's when I went looking for MFP buddies. You can read the bulletin I posted at the time on my profile. I announced that I was looking for MFP friends, but I wanted a very specific type of MFP friend: people who had ALREADY LOST weight. I want to surround myself with DOERS, not promisers. People who've lost 0 pounds or 2 pounds don't interest me. Right now, it's their battle to fight, and I wish them the best. I had to fight that same battle, and it was hard, but I won, and I get to enter the winners' circle. I EARNED the support and respect of my peers, because there's nothing more rewarding than checking a friend's weight loss progress and seeing that they've lost 10, 20, 30, 40+ lbs. It shows one thing: this person is committed, and I want to be around committed people like myself. EARN your way into their company; don't just expect the people who have done it to reach down and lift you up. They had to climb the mountain, and so do you. And trust me, the view at the top is much more rewarding when you get there yourself.

So what's the purpose of support group now? Before, I said DON'T build one because you'll surround yourself with people who will let you slide, who will let themselves slide, and who haven't lost any weight. Now, I'm saying to BUILD one because, having achieved a good portion of your goal and established your fitness habits, you'll surround yourself with people who have done the same, with people who intend to lose MORE weight and get MORE fit and who show you every day with their status updates that they are actually doing it! And you'll learn quickly that the people who are committed HAVE RULES for their friends. One of my favorites is this little blurb from a fellow committed fitness pal:
"I'm always open to new friends on MFP, and likely to accept pretty much any friend request; I actually enjoy reading status updates and encouraging friends on my list (take a peek at my news feed and you'll see this). The only rule is: if I get a message from the system that says you haven't logged in for a week, you get voted off my friend island. I'm here to interact with people who are committed to tracking their eating and exercise faithfully. Can I get an amen?"
You see what I mean? THIS is the company you want to keep, once you've earned it.

4. Last but not least, build your own system.
We're most committed to the things we've built ourselves--the car you restored, the business you started, the house you decorated, the kids you raised. Same goes with your fitness routine. Talk to your doctor: get a physical and ask him or her what your ideal weight should be for your height, sex, and age. Decide if that's your goal weight. Then, at the very least, even if you have no idea what else to do, start WALKING. The average American spends 36 hours watching television (according to the Dec. 2011 issue of Men's Health), so don't tell me and don't tell yourself that you don't have time to walk. Your goal should be 60 minutes of walking per day, 5 to 7 days per week. Yes, you can do that. Let your body set the pace. Slow at first, but week two you'll start walking faster, week three faster, week four you might even get the urge to run a bit--follow that urge for as long as you can! Get your body moving. Then, invest in a workout DVD. I recommended Billy Blanks' Tae Bo workouts, the basic ones, to get your body moving in new ways. Then, step it up to a new, more challenging DVD, like Jillian Michaels' "30-Day Shred" and "Ripped in 30" (and yes, guys, that means you too...I've done both of these DVDs, and they're TOUGH!). After that, you'll probably want to do more. Well, figure it out! There's P90X, which I'm starting soon. And start reading fitness magazines (try to stick to one though, so you don't overload yourself). I prefer Men's Health (for the ladies, my gf likes Women's Health)--it doesn't get all crazy macho like some of the guys fitness mags that show Arnold-sized dudes with veins popping from their foreheads. If you have a lot of weight to lose, now's not the time for macho (guys AND girls). Learn about fitness via the magazines. Learn proper form, and NEVER ignore it!

5. Okay, really the last one: it's okay to ask for tips.
I'm adamant about my advice to NOT build a support group early on until you've established and committed to your fitness habits. BUT...that doesn't mean you can't ask for tips every now and then. By all means, post an MFP bulletin if you have a question. I've seen topics like: "Protein shakes for women?"; "Recommendations for a food scale?"; "Know a low-cal 30-min dinner recipe?" When you have a specific question, you'll get specific answers from people who know. But topics like, "Can't stay motivated" and "Anyone else stuck?" usually bring around people who are feeling the same way, who have nothing but vague platitudes like "Keep the faith!" and "We'll get through this!" to offer. You've got to change your mindset. Don't be vague. Be specific! Try to solve your problem first (for example, Google "Protein shakes for women?" and see if you get some answers before you start asking people to answer the question for you). I'll put it this way: EARN THE SOLUTION.

6. Really, REALLY the last one.
It may take a while. I started MFP at 225 lbs. My goal is 165. I've lost 20 so far. And I'm still flabby. Yep, almost 100 days now and 20 lbs down and I'm STILL flabby! Don't expect that fit, toned body right away. In fact, don't expect to see it for about a year or more. But I'll tell you what: I may be flabby, but I can tell you that there's a lot LESS flab than there was before...and I know that my waist has gone down, and I'm wearing shirts one size smaller now. So when you look in the mirror in four weeks and think, "The scale says I've lost 8 pounds...and I don't see any difference....", don't worry: that's normal. FORGET about it, and keep dieting and working out. You may not see it, but I promise you you'll start to feel the difference in the first week.

All that's left is to wish you GOOD LUCK! But remember this: "I'm a great believer in luck; and I find that the HARDER I WORK, the MORE OF IT I HAVE." -Thomas Jefferson.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!