My husband makes me eat too much!

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durhamity
durhamity Posts: 174 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
And in all fairness, I make him eat too much too, lol. I am a stay at home mom, and my husband's work schedule is weird. 10 days on, 4 days off. Most of the time 13 - 14 hr days. On the days he goes to work, We both stay on our diets. But on the days that he is off work, we like to spend the day together which usually includes going out to eat for breakfast and lunch. We were going for long walks at the park but it is getting a little too cold for that now. We know better than this. We know what we should eat and what to stay away from, but I think we are each other's enabler. I struggle with my motivation. I care. I want to lose weight, but I keep saying I will do better tomorrow... I am frustrated, because I have been saying that for a few days now! :ohwell:

Replies

  • Pandorian
    Pandorian Posts: 2,055 MFP Moderator
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    Is he taking that utensil and shoving it in your mouth?

    Either pick one meal to go out for or split a plate between you, or get half of it boxed to go before you ever touch it... or make use of the days when he is away to prepare some healthy meals for you to enjoy when he is around while you go attend something fun, reminds me I must check the conservatory's hours.
  • ItsLessOfMe
    ItsLessOfMe Posts: 374 Member
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    Well I'm gonna use tough love. My in laws are EXCELLENT cooks. TONS of food AND variety. I'm still recovering from the weight I gained hanging out with them over the holiday. But I dont blame them. Its really sad that I gained weight during that time but they didnt force me to eat. You are not forcing your husband to eat and he is not forcing you.

    Try new ways of enjoying each other. You can do it!
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
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    No one can MAKE you eat anything. Only you can make yourself eat something.

    There's nothing wrong with going out, but for breakfast AND lunch? Are you eating out for two meals in one day? Maybe you could spend time together by cooking a healthy meal and working out.
  • poesch77
    poesch77 Posts: 1,005 Member
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    Omg...I soo know what you mean! Although I also am a SAHM.....my husband usually works out of town from April-Nov ( so it is easy for me to stick to a diet and workout schedule ....then works 10-12 hr days in town Nov-April...and when he has a day off...yup, fast food, dinner out......and I cave everytime! He is not in need of losing weight either! Very frustrating!
  • youngmum
    youngmum Posts: 114
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    I think I go through this with my husband sometimes. The thing is, while you are your biggest enablers you can also be your biggest supporters. Perhaps try changing your activity and treat it like a date eg: go to gym together; go for a bike ride together; go to the beach; go to a local park or for a hike; go for a boat ride.. anything active.
  • Showgirlbody
    Showgirlbody Posts: 402 Member
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    I get like that on my weekends as well. A high calorie meal or treat after weigh in was turning in to the whole weekend and counter acting what I did and making it hard to lose. I think when you are unstructured and out of your routine it's harder. I have set meal times at work, so I make my food and take it and come home in the evening after the gym and eat sensibly. Weekends are more free so you want to grab what you want and be out and about. I don't know the solution except to find things you can eat at your favorite restaurants and try not to eat out for more than one meal a day while he is off. One of you probably has to be the strong one and go in knowing what you are going to eat and how you are going to stay in your calories. Make a pact before you head out that you will eat within your calories and log everything. I know when I'm with my girlfriends, if they get dessert, I feel like I can have it, too. So you can enable each other to stick to your plans if that's what you really want. I guess it takes strength and willpower which is why I try not to eat at restaurants much until I can choose the better option (and not eat the bread basket). lol
  • imalikat2
    imalikat2 Posts: 87 Member
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    Yep, sounds like you are each others enablers or maybe one is sabotaging the other because of fear. I know that sounds crazy, but fear (even subconscienous fear) can cause us to do strange things. I feel as though my hubby likes to sabotage me cuz I'm trying to watch what I eat to lose some weight and get back in shape and he keeps bringing home fattening foods, desserts, breads, etc. He's not a salad eater and he really doesn't care what he eats. It's very frustrating for me too. At least you and your hubby are on a mission together. Perhaps you can plan your days better and maybe make better choices when you go out to eat. Mabye one day of no holds barred and the other days eating better. I know that's hard, cuz I know I'd rather eat some fattening yummy meal with dessert than be good and skip the bread and loaded baked potato!

    Sounds like you're on the right track and you'll meet your goal. It's baby steps. Don't be too hard on yourself. We're here for you to vent when you need to! Don't give up!
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    Go to the gym together and then get breakfast together. Do a DVD together, find a pool/indoor track and do that together. Get DIY-y with yourself and fix up the house together. Go see a movie together and sneak in your own air popped popcorn. Don't make being together about food. Also, don't blame him, even in a joke, eventually you'll start to believe it, when in reality it's your lack of self-control that's making you eat too much.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    And in all fairness, I make him eat too much too, lol. I am a stay at home mom, and my husband's work schedule is weird. 10 days on, 4 days off. Most of the time 13 - 14 hr days. On the days he goes to work, We both stay on our diets. But on the days that he is off work, we like to spend the day together which usually includes going out to eat for breakfast and lunch. We were going for long walks at the park but it is getting a little too cold for that now. We know better than this. We know what we should eat and what to stay away from, but I think we are each other's enabler. I struggle with my motivation. I care. I want to lose weight, but I keep saying I will do better tomorrow... I am frustrated, because I have been saying that for a few days now! :ohwell:
    Either you want it or your don't.

    Internal motivation to achieve any goal is about attaching pain to acts leading to failure and pleasure to action that moves you closer to that goal. Decide what you truly want.
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
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    Pick one meal to go out but not both and that will help, or pack a lunch and go on a "picnic" and eat breakfast at home so you don't cheat at all.

    I agree you have to want it or you don't, and whatever path you choose will reflect the results you get.

    Good luck though with journey!!
  • 2Bgoddess
    2Bgoddess Posts: 1,096 Member
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    Go to the gym together and then get breakfast together. Do a DVD together, find a pool/indoor track and do that together. Get DIY-y with yourself and fix up the house together. Go see a movie together and sneak in your own air popped popcorn. Don't make being together about food. Also, don't blame him, even in a joke, eventually you'll start to believe it, when in reality it's your lack of self-control that's making you eat too much.

    I love all you suggestions!
  • pupcamper
    pupcamper Posts: 415 Member
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    Get a new husband! :laugh:

    My husband & I used to be pretty bad eating junk food especially at night watching TV. Thankfully we have been able to get on the same page but I do find it a litttle annoying that he can eat so much more than I can without putting on weight! Hopefully you guys can be a little inventive and come up with some other ways to spend 'quality' sometime together without it involving food or you can modify it a bit by maybe going out for a hike and taking along a healthy meal so you can stop for a nice lunch that way you are burning as well as eating!

    Good luck.
  • HollieDoodles
    HollieDoodles Posts: 678 Member
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    Go to the gym together and then get breakfast together. Do a DVD together, find a pool/indoor track and do that together. Get DIY-y with yourself and fix up the house together. Go see a movie together and sneak in your own air popped popcorn. Don't make being together about food. Also, don't blame him, even in a joke, eventually you'll start to believe it, when in reality it's your lack of self-control that's making you eat too much.

    Word!
    Once again, E-ness speaketh the truth!
  • FitMissVicky
    FitMissVicky Posts: 51 Member
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    adding my suggestions for ways to get out of your routine: take turns making each other a healthy breakfast in bed. Cook together -try some new recipes and freeze them. Go bowling, find an indoor mini-putt place, or try something more adventurous together, like indoor rock-climbing or some other non-food-related activity. Go to a gallery or museum. Be tourists in your own town.
  • terewilliams
    terewilliams Posts: 336 Member
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    My SO is a Marine. At 62 he still has nice abs unlike me that has flab! He eats and eats and eats! But I stopped and really took a good look at what he is eating...lots of fruits and veggies. He does a high intensity workout four days a week. So now when we are going out to eat I just make better choices. Everyplace has salads, roasted chicken and fish and veggies. I am really looking forward to working out as well; my workout choices are different than his but we go to the gym together and follow up with a cup of tea at Starbucks. It has turned into quite wonderful evenings for both of us. I call it making better choices for myself. :wink:
  • MrsObundles
    MrsObundles Posts: 138 Member
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    When I read the topic line I got a mental image of a person who was tied in a chair and getting food stuffed into their mouth by a villainous character.
  • frugalmomsrock
    frugalmomsrock Posts: 1,123
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    I notice a change in my eating habits when my husband is home too. I try really hard not to let it influence me, but I do let it. :-/ He is constantly saying, "you need to eat more," and other similar things...

    When we do go out, I either order very light (I check websites and get nutritional info before going, enter it into my iPod MFP app, and stick to it). If it's something that is a little more calorie-laden, I'll ask for a box right away and pack half of it to take home.
  • durhamity
    durhamity Posts: 174 Member
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    No, my husband is not an evil villian who has tied me down and is forcing food into my mouth. He is amazing! We just enjoy going out to eat together. I don't really blame him for "making" me eat, as I wouldn't want him to blame me for sabbotaging his diet. Food is our drug. We are aware there is a problem but we get derailed from our goals. I agree that I need to decide what I really want. Thanks for all the suggestions and support!
  • sarscab
    sarscab Posts: 13
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    I think you need to stop blaming your husband and work on your self control. Just because you go out to eat often doesn't mean you have to eat crap. Pick healthier options or suggest to your husband that you not go out to eat as much.

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