Relationship Advice (winey)

mystiedragonfly

Quick!!! Someone get me a pic of a dead horse face desk-ing!!!!

The head will end up in his bed I am afraid.

Angelie28

Sounds like he's jealous of you.

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Moofey2

Just to let you all know a bit more about the situation, I am perfectly fine with waiting another year to know if he can see me in his future(no commitment, no ring just to know it is a possibility that he can see me in his future). The last thing I want to do is rush something like marrige. I am also fine with a long distance relationship, we all have had our hard ships but the last time I was in a long distance relationship it was with someone in the military. He was also a best friend of mine for 6 years I also liked him for 3 (we had ALOT of history), after 3 months of being with him I find out he has a fiancée... From her, not him. So I am a bit on the leary side when it comes to long distance and since I do not know when the boyfriend will be moving back to Oklahoma. As for him moving away, I wanted to wait for someone who could see me in their distant future so I would know they are not just going to up and dump me or just kind of fade away. He treats me wonderfully and the last thing he wants to do is break up. He is trying to find a job here so all I can do is wait. I am just going to let this whole thing play out and see where it takes me. If he moves fine, if he stays fine... I just want him to be happy either way and to get in a better financial situation. No I have not brought the marriage thing up in a long time, the only thing I have ever asked him really about it was "Can you see a possibility of me in your future?" That is really the only thing I have ever asked and the thing that triggered that question was how serious he was acting about our relationship.


My family puts alot of pressure on me saying "He should know between 6 months to a year if he wants to be with you or not and if he does not know by then, move on!" I know it is also just their opinion and all that really matters is my own but we always take into account what our parents say and teach us. So always having that pushed on me just confuses me and stresses me out making me think I am doing something wrong just because he wants to wait a bit longer.... My whole family is like that.... Ugh Hahhaha


Thank you all so much!


P.S. I tried the magic 8 ball and those magazines... They are 134.5 percent accurate!

Thank you for all of your answers, most of them really helped!

KimmieBrie

P.S. I tried the magic 8 ball and those magazines... They are 134.5 percent accurate!

Glad to see you have kept your sense of humor! + for you!

lizzue

I have been with my fella for about 3 years and i gotta admit I dont think either of us can see marriage..... I dont know whether its marriage we dont or maybe its each other.

Sometimes people just want differnet things....

Moofey2

Very true

Bahet

It's entirely possible he can see you in his future and that scares the heck out of him. I don't mean that against you at all. It's a maturity thing. You're 21. I'm going to guess he's also in his early 20s. It sounds like he's living alone or at least away from his parents. Assuming that he's pretty much free. He can come home when he wants, go out with friends when he wants, see you when he wants, watch whatever movies he wants, eat what he wants, etc. When you ask if he can see you in his future it's entirely possible that he sees you married, a house, kids, mortgage, bills, expected to be home right after work every night to eat a pot roast. That can be scary for someone who is enjoying their freedoms.

My hubby and I dated for 4 1/2 years. I was 19 when we met and he was 25. I started broaching the subject of marriage when I was about 21. He'd always freeze up and skirt the topic. We got engaged once then broke it off. We even broke up completely for 2 months. It turned out that the whole marriage/house/kids/etc bit scared him. He saw it as all of his fun vanishing.

Shortly after we got married he told me all of that. He realized that he'd rather be with me than hanging out with his friends all night. He also realized that his definition of fun changed. Just like playing with dolls is fun for a child but not what a teen would enjoy, so was eating pizza all the time and hanging out at the bars with friends fun when he was younger but not so much fun as he matured.

We've been married 18 years, together for 22, and we have a lot of fun still. It's a whole different world from when we were in our 20s but neither of us would ever want to go back to that anyhow. My advice to you is to take it slow. 1 year really isn't a long time, especially not when you are young. Looking back, I'm glad we didn't get married that young. By waiting just a few years it gave us both more time to mature and allowed me to experience things I wouldn't have if we had gotten married when I was fresh out of college.

Moofey2

He is 28 if that matters

Thank you for the wonderful advice!

baypathgradLyns

Have you tried doing any compatibility tests, like the ones they have in some magazines, where you answer the questions and add up your scores to see if you're compatible?

LOL

felice03

He's just not that into you

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