Parents with no time

ItsMeRebekah

I am a mom of four boys 11, 9, 7 and 5. I also am a Kindergarten teacher, so busy is my life I just got a kettlebell (under $20) and do the workout at home....20 min! One website says
"Every kettlebell exercise is a ballistic (explosive) whole body exercise. It's cardio and weights at the same time. Remember those days when you had to walk on the treadmill for an hour, then work the weight machines for 30 minutes to get in your cardio and weight training? No more. Working with kettlebells 20 minutes a day, your cardio and weight training is done!"
It is really amazing and after five days of doing this I am seeing definition in my arms, abs (didn't know I had those after having kids) and my legs and glutes.
Anyways, Every little bit counts is my point. Maybe kettlebells is the thing that would work for you. They are totable (take them to work for your lunch break) or get a little one for your son and he can do it with you
Hope this helps


website for the workout is http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/kettlebell-workout

i agree with this!! I do kettlebells as well and have really good results.. you can see pics on my profile if you want, and i usually only do between 12-40mins of it.. Anyways, OP have you considered going to the track at the school or a park? Your little one can play and you can walk or run the track. This works for me.. gives the kids a break before homework and gives me a break to!! Good luck you can do this! Dont let anybody hold you back, make up your mind to do it and go!

trud72

Have you tried "talking" to your husband? telling him how you feel?
you never know it might just work..
if not a swift kick in the baulbauls(well it is christmas)! :noway:

TurtleRunnerNC

I feel your pain. I have been married for 20 years. My husband does very little to help around the house,except cook dinner. I work full time each week. Though my office closed & I work from home now which helps a lot. I have 2 children 11 & 15. I also coach preschool gymnastics 2 nights a week @ the gym where my daughter is on the team to help cover tuition. Two other nights a week I have to drop her off & pick her up but don't stay. occasionally hubby will drop off or pick up if I have something else I have to do like Booster Club meeting for my sons JROTC or if I have to work late for my day job. Hubby owns his own business &works when he feels like it. Most of the time he is in bed on the computer or playing video games.

I do all the laundry, dishes & any cleaning that gets done though the kids help some on weekendd. My sons bus comes at 6:50am & my daughters @ 7:15 so I have to have my son up at 6am to get ready for school. I have always gotten up @ right about 6am to get my son up. But on Sunday Jan 1st. I decided that I have had enough of being miserable physically & mentally. I told a few wonderful friends how miserable I am & just getting that off my chest & having their support has lifted a great weight off of my shoulders. I felt better mentally almist instantly. I decided I would get up earlier & exercise. I am getting up @ 5:30 even though for the last 3 years I have told myself I could not get up any earlier. I can, I decided I wantrd to feel better more than I wanted to sleep until 5:50. I am using our elliptical every morning now. Only 15 min right now but I am going to try to bump it to 20 next week. Then I wake up my son & get in the shower. After that I get their breakfast & pack their lunches. I also decided that instead of playing on my tablet on the front porch while waiting for my daughters bus to comeI would read my bible. I have an 'everyday bible' it starts on Jan and has readings for each day.If you are a believer try to make time for that too, if not that is ok to.

Once her bus comes I make my breakfast & start my work day. Supposed to be 8:30 to 5 but I do 7:30 to 4 to get daughter to the gym on time.

I just decided to be happier & healthier. I have heard you had to make the choice,I didn't think it was possible but I am doing it. I am trying to rid the negative thoughts for thankful positive ones for example, the other night instrad of letting the sink full of dirty dishes piss me off because they had been left for me to do I chise to be thankful that we had dirty dishes because that meant we had food to eat when many don't.

It is not easy to change but if I can do it you can do it. I also am like a single mother & my husband is like a 3rd kid but I am tired of being miserable. I cannot change him so I am going to change myself.

Try eating lunch @ your desk & using your actual lunch to go for a walk. It's better than nothing. I also loaded some 5 min workouts onto my tablet & phone so I can take a 5 min break & do some toning.

Good Luck. You are NOT alone & you can do this.

DancinBear63

I appreciate this post so much, Jessica! I admire your determination to improve your fitness. I hope things work out in the way that you need them to.

I work full time, my husband is a stay at home dad to our very busy almost 2 year old son. Neither of us feels that we have any time to exercise. During the summer, we walked at 5:30 AM, with our son in the jogging stroller. Now it is too dark in the morning to walk safely, and even darker when I get home.

As I read all of the comments, I realize that I have made a lot of excuses. I am definitely going to find a way to make it work, too! I would be glad to be anyone's supporter, and am looking for the same.

Jessica0982

Get your husband to help you. Seriously, you're not doing your son a favor by setting such an example... There's no reason why you should take care of everything.

If I had control over the situation, I'd obviously get him to help me. But I can't MAKE him help me. I ask and ask and ask. NIcely and not so nicely. I've gone on strike. I've explained that as a parent to a boy, that his son looks up to him and he needs to put the effort in. Truth is, he'll help for one day (but yells at us the entire time) and then he goes back to his usual self the next day and everyday thereafter.

I'm over it. So I'm getting myself fit. Getting back to being healthy. Putting me and my son first. And saving up to get the hell out! (Sad but true)

loricarol

Been there. Here are some ideas...
Immediately after you pick your son up from day care stop at a park (plan for weather) so he can run, climb and play. Walk, march, jog or lung your way around the play equipment. Become a park-hopper and find the ones that entertains you both. If he insists you play with him, make an obstacle course out of it.

Make a play date. Find other moms who could help. I don' t mean always dumping your kid on them. If you have an only child a playdate entertains your kid while you workout. The park is a winner but even popping in a video tape at home works while your kid is playing with a buddy.

Is he in sports? If he's on the soccer fields for practice or a game put on your workout duds and jog around the fields.

Don't worry what you look like. Every parent out there will be thinking, "I should be doing that".

When my son is swimming for swim team, I climb the stairs continually for 15 minutes (working up to 30). When he is at soccer or football practice I jog the perimitter of the park. At games I circle the field until the game starts then pause to watch.

Recruit your kid in the fun. He is old enough and will learn the value of exercise. He can jog a mile with you now. Participate in local fun runs to get him excited about jogging with you.

Basically, be creative. You can't be traditional about workouts. There may not be a full hour or 30 minutes to get something in so do what you can. By starting to put in 10 minutes at a time you will figure out how to stretch the workout.

Gyms are great for so many reasons but truely, expecting my son to do one more thing in his day is a bit overwhelming.

Good luck.

Jessica0982

Have you tried "talking" to your husband? telling him how you feel?
you never know it might just work..
if not a swift kick in the baulbauls(well it is christmas)! :noway:

Talking does us no good. He's a *kitten*. That's the truth of it all. I've asked. I've talked. I've begged and pleaded. I've gone on strike and said screw the dishes and laundry and let them pile up. It doesn't work.

I'm over it. He's missing out on a really great kid. And a really great wife for that matter.

Sadly I'm saving up to leave. Because if he doesn't contribute to our family, then I don't need him around. I know I have issues in my marriage. I know he should help. But the reality is that he won't. So I do without him. I'm not letting his laziness hold me back.

He'll figure it out when it's too late.

Jessica0982

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What good are you to your boy if mommy is not there? =( If you are not there until 5:30 that is already a whole day. I think you are doing him an injustice taking him from one daycare to put him into another. Poor boy.

I suggest buying wii fit or Just dance or something and play it with him @ home. You can watch tv and turn it into a game that during the show you fold laundry but during commercials you do jumping jacks, squats, push ups, lunges or whatever.
You will have plenty of time in the future to add a fitness routine. I say these precious years with your boy trump ALL.

If I worked full time, I would insist my husband did 1/2 of the household responsibilities . That is not fair. I would change that in 2012 for sure. I say this with empathy, I feel for you & you boy. Best of luck.
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That’s why I stopped going to the gym to begin with. I felt like I was neglecting my son. He was a little younger then but when he said “Mommy, I never get to play in my room anymore” I knew I had to stop. Thankfully he’s older now where I can talk to him about it. I asked him if he’d be okay if he went to the daycare at the gym 1 day a week. He said yes. He likes the other kids. He likes the ‘new’ toys. He enjoys that 1 hour. Anything beyond that will most likely take a toll on him.

It’s really hard to do much of anything during the week. It’s dark by the time I get home with the stupid time change. We used to go for bike rides after we got home from work but now it’s just too dark. I will occasionally play football with him outside for 30 mins tops if we’re lucky enough to get home a few mins earlier than usual. (tossing the ball around and trying to tackle him lol).

On weekends, we go out and about. Throw rocks at the beach. Go to the zoo. Go to the park.

I spend ALL my free time with my son as I’m pretty much the only one that provides for him and takes care of him. Trust me, it’s a kick in the gut to hear someone say “your poor boy” for me not spending time with him. I can’t change that I work all week long. I can’t change my hours. But truth is…I also need some ‘me’ time or I’m going to lose my mind. My mother has offered to take my son 1 day a week after school for me. That helps and makes me feel a lot less guilty.

And yes, I realize my husband should be contributing WAY more. But he just doesn’t. I’m a broken record and I don’t know what more I can do to get him to help me out. I’ve accepted that this is who he is and that I can’t change him. So I’m working on changing ME instead.

My new mantra – “The 3 C's of life: choices, chances and changes. You must make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change”

lwoods34

I agree with what everyone else has said. I have a 15 month old son and I work part time. He usually wakes up at 7:30-8 am so I am up at 5:30 to do my workout in my basement. I am lucky to have a treadmill, a ton of free weights (I got them real cheap from gyms that were closing in the area) and a TON of fitness dvds. Yes I have a gym membership at the gym that I used to work for but honestly aside from the weekend, I really dont have time to get there. So while he is still asleep I am down in the basement getting my workout done. I usually workout for about 1 hr or so and then get myself ready for work and by that time, he is awake and I take care of him and then head off to work. My husband has to be to work by 7 am so he cant help out in the morning but if I wanted to sleep in on a Saturday and workout later in the day, he is really good about helping out because he knows how important fitness is to me. Its not just fun for me; its part of my job...I have to stay in shape to be a personal trainer.

I think, with some time management, you can definitely fit it in. If you have that Exercise on Demand channel from Time Warner Cable, that would be perfect. Even if you squeeze in 20-30 minutes in the morning and 20-30 minutes later on in the day. Something is better than nothing at all.

Cocoa17

I read your posts and feel your pain and frustration. Even though my husband helps some, it isn't enough and we have 4 kids-- and my husband travels. So, I am a single Mom a lot of the time.

Time is your greatest issue, so you have to make the most of what little time you have. If you have a little more time on the weekends then you need to take some time to get organized. Prep/ plan meals that will save you time later in the week, get a schedule together that you feel will work.

For me, when my husband actually IS home, I get up early and while the he and the kids are sleeping I work out. Then I get home, shower, and everyone gets up and doesn't know the difference. It makes for a long day, but I have more time with the kids, and the energy to get through the day.

It is not easy, but it is possible to meet everyone's needs! Good Luck!

Nicolee_2014

I don't have anymore suggestions or input but I'd just like to say I hope find a happy medium & that you get that exercise in & that your little boy has a healthy happy Mommy :flowerforyou:

Kelly_1981

Get your husband to help you. Seriously, you're not doing your son a favor by setting such an example... There's no reason why you should take care of everything.

YES I AGREE!!!! Its Both of your son tell him to pull his weight!

leomom72

bump

fteale

Get yourself out and worry about exercise when your son is older. I don't have time to exercise during the week as I have a 4 year old who isn't in school yet and am doing a masters degree. I am already out of the house until 5 some nights, I am not taking more time away from my children (even if I had someone to take them, which I don't) to exercise. I just go to evening classes I can take them along to, and aerobics in the hall next to my 4 year old's nursery so he can watch me through the door.

Fairysoul

Could you play a dance game or zumba on the wii with your son? I play with my 4 year old and we have a blast plus a workout!

Jessica0982

Could you play a dance game or zumba on the wii with your son? I play with my 4 year old and we have a blast plus a workout!

I think I'm probably the only person on the planet that doesn't own a Wii. LOL.

My son is a total jock. He loves football. We play often out in the yard but it's not all that much movement for me. He loves basketball and sometimes we shoot around. And baseball, he had me hitting balls and he'd run and chase them.

But those are weekend only things. It's too dark for us to do much of anything when we get home from school/work.

Nikki582

I'm a busy mum as well, but I guess the difference is my husband does help out if I ask him to (but I have to ask, he doesn't have the initiative to do it on his own)

But to get my workout in I get up an hour before anyone else is awake and I go to my 24-hour gym, do my stuff, come home, have a shower - my two kids wake up, I get them dressed and ready for their day, scoff some breakfast, shake my husband awake, drop the kids at daycare, (7.30) go to work, get home around 5/5.30 (picking up the kids on the way home) and make dinner, shuttle the kids into the shower and then bed, then I do my school work (online diploma course)

Twice a week I go out to gym classes when the kids are awake - on a Tuesday it's at 6pm, so I make dinner ready for when my husband walks in the door (5.45) and scoot out, come back and the kids are juuust about to go to bed, then on Saturday mornings I just shake husband awake when I leave (7) and when I come back it's hit and miss if I have to feed them breakfast.

I've had to make time for myself and my workouts, I've had to put me first sometimes - and putting me first sometimes doesn't put anyone else out, it doesn't take time away from my kids because I set an alarm to get up before them. I have membership to a 24 hour gym so it doesn't matter if I haven't done my workout before the start of my day - I can put the kids to bed and go there at 9 instead.. the kids aren't missing out - my husband, who's a lovely supportive guy, isn't feeling like I'm always lumping the kids on him to go out and I'm not allowed to make ANY excuses. Because this is about me, not about anyone else.

If you want stuff for around the house look up bodyweight exercises, you can write up your own circuit to do inside or outside, it's not that difficult. Go to a park and work out how you can do stuff on the playground while your son plays. If you have an iDevice get the Nike Training Club (FREE) app, it's awesome. You CAN do it, you just need to do it.

jnthwaite

All of these suggestions have been great. I'm a single Mum and a high school teacher, so I'm up early as, come home late, and try to get Missy in bed at a reasonable hour. I really like the suggestions of the 24 hour gym while Missy is in daycare after work perhaps. I've also got things I can play with her with in the back yard. She loves doing exercises. It's me that's beat all the time. What great ideas. Thanks MFP community of awesome!