Not weight loss related.... but ....

GrnEyz

I need advice. And frankly I'm surrounded by either really young people or really old people, so I get really mixed opinions.

I just got a text from a guy I've been talking to for a while. He asked if I'd like to go out sometime for dinner and drinks. So being a poor college student I really can't afford to go out. But having been raised in an old fashioned family I was taught that if a man asks you out he should pay. But then I'm also used to this genereation which if it's casual, you go dutch.

The problem is, I don't want to assume he's going to pay, but I also don't want to be like "lets go somewhere cheap, since I'm a poor college student" and assume that he isn't going to pay! I know I'm thinking WAY too much into this. But any advice you guys have would be great! (I'm so nervous...this is the fist "date" I've been on since being dumped over a year ago...and gaining weight!!)

GrnEyz

I need advice. And frankly I'm surrounded by either really young people or really old people, so I get really mixed opinions.

I just got a text from a guy I've been talking to for a while. He asked if I'd like to go out sometime for dinner and drinks. So being a poor college student I really can't afford to go out. But having been raised in an old fashioned family I was taught that if a man asks you out he should pay. But then I'm also used to this genereation which if it's casual, you go dutch.

The problem is, I don't want to assume he's going to pay, but I also don't want to be like "lets go somewhere cheap, since I'm a poor college student" and assume that he isn't going to pay! I know I'm thinking WAY too much into this. But any advice you guys have would be great! (I'm so nervous...this is the fist "date" I've been on since being dumped over a year ago...and gaining weight!!)

tashjs21

Oh I hear ya honey.

I've been a few dates recently where I ended up paying. :grumble: (those aren't really dates in my opinion and they did not get a favorable reply when they asked me out again)

Anyhow, I make a comment on the way to the place...like...I need to stop at an ATM and get some cash...then if they say, no need. I know where we stand. If they take me to the ATM...the date ends pretty quickly.

And they wonder why we ask, where have all the good guys gone? :laugh:

Manda86

Maybe suggest doing something a little more cost effective - if it's nice enough outside, pack a picnic! A little fresh fruit, and finger foods that won't break the bank. I'd say it's a good opportunity to get creative.

kattera22

we'll first off good luck either way... you could always suggest going cheap... even if he decides to pay he'll probably be happy that you wanted something cheaper and that your down to earth... if u end up paying than you will have enjoyed your meal and won't be worried about what the bill will come too... i hope u enjoy ur date and your meal either way

astarte09

Think of a cheap place, then ask if you can go there...make the excuse that they are good for your diet (but eat something healthy)..then either way, its ok.

astarte09

Oh I hear ya honey.

I've been a few dates recently where I ended up paying. :grumble: (those aren't really dates in my opinion and they did not get a favorable reply when they asked me out again)

Anyhow, I make a comment on the way to the place...like...I need to stop at an ATM and get some cash...then if they say, no need. I know where we stand. If they take me to the ATM...the date ends pretty quickly.

And they wonder why we ask, where have all the good guys gone? :laugh:

Thats a great idea!

MFS27

What's wrong with being honest? Just say, (jokingly) "I'd love to go out, but I'm a poor college student, you know - so can we do coffee or something a bit more budget friendly?"

Chances are he will reply with something along the lines of "No worries, I got your dinner."

No games, and no hurt feelings (or wallets)

songbyrdsweet

I just ask 'Are we gonna go dutch?" which means you pay for you, and he pays for himself. If they say yes, then I say 'Okay, I'm a broke college kid so lets go to (cheap restaurant)." And if they say no, I say "Awe, what a gentleman, thank you," but still bring money for tip. I haven't been on an actual date in a long time, but most of the good ones were funded by the guy. Then once you're actually together you can split everything and they're still good because you know you like each other. :laugh:

douganl

What's wrong with being honest? Just say, (jokingly) "I'd love to go out, but I'm a poor college student, you know - so can we do coffee or something a bit more budget friendly?"

Chances are he will reply with something along the lines of "No worries, I got your dinner."

No games, and no hurt feelings (or wallets)

I really like this idea!!! Eventhough usually if someone asks you to go out to dinner, they are paying too. However, it's better to be safe than sorry!!!!!

Good luck and let us know what happens! :flowerforyou:

tashjs21

What's wrong with being honest? Just say, (jokingly) "I'd love to go out, but I'm a poor college student, you know - so can we do coffee or something a bit more budget friendly?"

Chances are he will reply with something along the lines of "No worries, I got your dinner."

No games, and no hurt feelings (or wallets)

I really like this idea!!! Eventhough usually if someone asks you to go out to dinner, they are paying too. However, it's better to be safe than sorry!!!!!

Good luck and let us know what happens! :flowerforyou:

You'd think so but it doesn't always work out that way these days. :laugh: :laugh:

Opera_Bound

Great advice ladies! I'd also say look at the tone of his voice (er...text). To say "Would you like to go out sometime for dinner and drinks?" is a lot different from "Hey, wanna grab a bite sometime time?"

That's the only advice I have, as I too haven't been on many (not exaggerating - only 2 or 3) dates myself.

Also, you could (depending on the dynamic of your relationship) playfully say something along the lines of "Aww, you wanna take me out?" or something silly like that. Then you'll get your answer. This is only good if you have a joking/playful relationship to start out with...otherwise you may seem un-confident. Just an idea!

Best of luck, and please, let us know how this 'date' goes!!!! :flowerforyou: :bigsmile:

happyhubbard

What's wrong with being honest? Just say, (jokingly) "I'd love to go out, but I'm a poor college student, you know - so can we do coffee or something a bit more budget friendly?"

Chances are he will reply with something along the lines of "No worries, I got your dinner."

No games, and no hurt feelings (or wallets)

Listen to MollyK...that was exactly what I was going to tell you to do

cquick

What's wrong with being honest? Just say, (jokingly) "I'd love to go out, but I'm a poor college student, you know - so can we do coffee or something a bit more budget friendly?"

Chances are he will reply with something along the lines of "No worries, I got your dinner."

No games, and no hurt feelings (or wallets)

TOTALLY AGREE! just say what you are feeling, sweetheart!

if you think about it, if you start off the relationship not being open bout yourself, how is the relationship going to be?

it's ok to let him know the situation you're currently in! finances are one of the biggest deciding factors in whether a relationship will last, and being truthful is always best!

have fun on your date! and don't just get a salad! :laugh:

SandraD1064

What's wrong with being honest? Just say, (jokingly) "I'd love to go out, but I'm a poor college student, you know - so can we do coffee or something a bit more budget friendly?"

Chances are he will reply with something along the lines of "No worries, I got your dinner."

No games, and no hurt feelings (or wallets)

What she said ;-)

rwinston

Another vote for MollyK's advice. It's honest and easy-going. Have a wonderful date!

GrnEyz

Wow, thanks you guys for all of the great advice and support! I'll let you know how it goes! :flowerforyou:

mablesyrup

Don't say you are a poor college student- or you will be one always!

Speak more positive things and you will begin to attract more positive things!

I would go out on the date- I'm feeling the same as you are- the man should pay, but realize also that in todays culture a lot of people expect to just pay for themselves. Does he seem more of the traditional type and gentlemen like where you think he would probably pay? Usually they will ask where you want to go for dinner- so pick somewhere that is within your budget. Take a little money with you- and expect that you will have to pay- so keep your food/drinks within your budget- and then if he offers to pay- great!

Chellekk

Since it's a first date and you don't know if you really like the guy yet...go for coffee.

Or yes...a stroll in the park...

Why must it be dinner out.

While you walk or drink your $3 coffee, you can talk about other things too, like how much money you make or lack there of due to school...then he'll pick up on the fact that Old Fashion is STILL IN and he should pay.

hartkid13

If I ask a woman out then I assume that I'm paying, but you certainly don't want to get yourself in an awkward situation if you are wrong.

I have to agree with the majority of posts that honesty is the best option. Having that conversation with him will probably give you a lot of clues as to how things will go overall.

Good luck!

mrsyac2

What's wrong with being honest? Just say, (jokingly) "I'd love to go out, but I'm a poor college student, you know - so can we do coffee or something a bit more budget friendly?"

Chances are he will reply with something along the lines of "No worries, I got your dinner."

No games, and no hurt feelings (or wallets)

I really like this idea!!! Eventhough usually if someone asks you to go out to dinner, they are paying too. However, it's better to be safe than sorry!!!!!

Good luck and let us know what happens! :flowerforyou:

You'd think so but it doesn't always work out that way these days. :laugh: :laugh:

thats very true thats why the waiter/waitress puts the check in the middle these days cause they really don't know who is paying lol.
and there are times the guys go for the check look at it then slide it towards the female-

Regardless who pays make sure you bring money- just 20-30 bucks will do - Not to mention he just may be on a budget as well.

GrnEyz

well I decided to go out with him for coffee. Since it was more casual I paied, but at least it was just tea, and not a meal. Thanks again for all of your advice and support :drinker: