am I pregnant????

natabugg

I've never had any remarks in my life about the way I looked physically and finally it happened today. Background info... I have two kids, 3 years and the other one is 4 months. I also had a winter jacket on and had been waiting in life at an Osh Kosh store waiting for these people who were traveling to back to New York to visit family and take the 4 full bags of clothes that they had just bought for their grandson. So needless to say that standing in line for 10 minutes waiting for this woman to buy the clothes, who was also running in and out of the store to smoke, got tiring. I suppose I slouched just a bit making my belly stick out and that's when she turned around and asked me the famous question that no one wants to here.... "ARE YOU PREGNANT??" VERY LOUDLY MIGHT I ADD. And I said no.... I just had a baby though... then she says HOW LONG AGO... and I still look at her and say 4 months ago. hmmmm not something that I ever wanted to hear.

Being that I just joined and have lost two pounds makes me wonder what I look like in reality. uggg

natabugg

I've never had any remarks in my life about the way I looked physically and finally it happened today. Background info... I have two kids, 3 years and the other one is 4 months. I also had a winter jacket on and had been waiting in life at an Osh Kosh store waiting for these people who were traveling to back to New York to visit family and take the 4 full bags of clothes that they had just bought for their grandson. So needless to say that standing in line for 10 minutes waiting for this woman to buy the clothes, who was also running in and out of the store to smoke, got tiring. I suppose I slouched just a bit making my belly stick out and that's when she turned around and asked me the famous question that no one wants to here.... "ARE YOU PREGNANT??" VERY LOUDLY MIGHT I ADD. And I said no.... I just had a baby though... then she says HOW LONG AGO... and I still look at her and say 4 months ago. hmmmm not something that I ever wanted to hear.

Being that I just joined and have lost two pounds makes me wonder what I look like in reality. uggg

memaw66

Some people just have not cooth (or however it's spelled). At least you know you are doing something about it!!!! Hold your head high and move on!!!

filergirl

Unbeliveable. The best way to deal with rude people is to ask them the same question right back. It works surprisingly well in a lot of different situations. Or the old, "Funny, I was just about to ask you . . . "

I have said some pretty outrageous things to impudent strangers. I kind of figure so long as you attack the behaviour, and not the person, you've pretty much got carte blanche after an opening salvo like that. Unfortunately, there will always be these sorts of people in the world -- so make 'em squirm, I say!!!

And, yes, let it bounce off you. Most people don't mean to be mean; they are simply awkward or projecting their issues onto you. Or, she might have felt bad that she was making you stand so long and that's why she asked if you were pregnant. Still pretty dumb, but there is probably some justification for her behaviour that has to do with her own hang-ups rather than you. Whenever someone does something nasty to me, I always feel horrible afterwards, because I feel like I must have provoked it. "It must really be me." I've slowly come to realize that I can't control other people's behaviour, and that most times rude behaviour says something about the person being rude -- and nothing negative about me.

P.S. When my brother was in the hospital we had to put up with some really horrible remarks. People asked if he was retarded!!! (Um, no, he's had a *spinal injury*) They couldn't understand why he was so "unpleasant." Duh!?! Who the heck is pleasant when they're having holes drilled into their skull? Some people really do lack empathy.

theGuest

i would never NEVER ask anyone that!!!

not even if im 99% sure!

thats rude. and from a woman yet!!

dawn66

Been there!!!!! Just last week as a matter of fact. When I replied no, she asked me why I was getting so fat.... I feel your pain!!!! :flowerforyou: Oh well, we're better than that, and at least we are working at improving ourselves. Have a great day.
Dawn

cmrmure

That happened to me when my youngest was four or five month too. I was seriously depressed for about a week...then I decided to embrace the reason I looked the way I did...my children and the role I have in their life. Just remember it's all worth it...inappropriate remarks and all. I figure we might look a little different than our ideal self for about a year and a half, but compared to the lifetime of enjoyment from our kids, it's very minimal.

filergirl

Shudder. This is what scares me about the whole ordeal of being pregnant - the pre-gnant and the post-gnant commentary/ touching / assuming one's body is public property due to its being used/ having recently been used to usher in another member of the human race.

I have never heard of anybody asking an overweight guy, "HEY MAN, ARE YOU FAT?"

Grumble. There's more but I'll end there.

:huh:

NurseBarb

Forget her!! How nasty!!!
You know I even have people in my family that will make nasty comments about my weight.
I just figure it's their way of trying to feel better about themselves somehow by tearing someone else down.

You are beautiful and wonderful and don't ever let anyone tell you different!!!

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

lockedcj7

I've never understood how people can be so clueless. I thought everyone knew by now not to ask a woman that question.

a. It's nobody's business.
b. It's emotionally loaded on many levels.
c. There is great potential for spectacular embarrassment to both the asker and askee.

For men, there isn't a corollary question. Many people do comment on a man's weight though. I can't tell you how many times a stranger has said, "Wow, you're a big-un!", "You haven't missed many meals!", "You look like you know how to eat!", "You're a big-old boy!, "You look like you're full-grown", etc. Heck, my wife and I were shopping for a mattress and the salesperson said, "well, bigger people such as yourselves..." We still joke about it.

More often, male friends engage in good-natured ribbing. I commented to a friend recently that he was, "bulking up nicely". Men are more used to such comments and questions and tend to have a thicker skin about it, partly because there is less social pressure and stigma associated with being overweight for men. In private, all the men I know are unbelievably vain and self-conscious so the "thick-skin" thing is just an illusion.

zarzoo

The same thing happened to me??? i was out shopping, when i met a old school friend.
we were in shop at the time and she asked are you pregnant??. me being me said no im fat???
My friend went so red face,and every one was looking her? we have lol now about it now but at the time it up set me?

natabugg

My husband is used to comments too. His bone structure is large...he doesn't have big bones he's just has a wider build to him. Even in high school in his prime weight he was a big guy. He's 6'2'' and built like a line backer, he used to play football and even got to our cities football team but decided that it wasn't for him.

He's now gained weight but I still love every bit of him. he mostly gets the comments like "hey big guy". So he's used to it and we're both going to start to lose weight with me. So here's to the big guns!!

bob9304

As my wife would say to that question, "How tacky" Some people have trouble with social boundries. My little humorous ancedote would be: Me and my wife were in a shoe store shopping for her a new pair of shoes, (ARGHHHH) when she asked me to walk across the aisle to grab another size of a shoe she was trying on, a little farther down the same aisle was a couple with a small child, little girl maybe 5 or so, she looked up at me and in a HUGE voice said, "Hey mommy look at that huge fat man." Now I am 6' 4" weighed about 340 at the time and have been told I can look intimidating, that couple looked like they wanted to crawl under a rock, my wife behind me was chuckling like mad. I felt sorry for the young couple because I knew they were embarrased I just smiled and told the kid hey, see what happens when you eat to much candy.:laugh: