I lost a lot of motivation and confidence..
Pengygirl24
Posts: 34
So, I thought I looked good, so I wore a skirt I haven't been able to wear for years, and a really cute top (a little low cut) but I thought it looked cute. So, I took a picture and put it on FB.. and one of the people I thought was a friend said (and I quote) "I hate to say it sweety, but you are too fat to be wearing things like that. It just makes you look like a fat *kitten* that wants to be a stripper." What am I supposed to say to that?
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Replies
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wow...
i would say something about how hard youve worked to improve your health and lose weight...explain how you havent been able to wear the skirt for years etc. and how hurt you are at their reaction. and tell them if thats the most support they can give you, maybe you shouldnt be friends any more.
even if she (he?) doesnt think it looks good, they could have said it a whole lot nicer and in a more supportive way0 -
Unfriend.0
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Reminds me of an old saying: 'With friends like that, who needs enemies!' This person is not a friend - I say delete the comment and un-friend - that comment is pure nasty!!0
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wow honesty is one thing, but there are ways and means of being tactful CRIKEY. Totally uncalled for - if its someone you want to keep as a friend you need to confront them though and say how it hurt you.0
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Woooow what a *****. Well, personally I would say something along the lines of how I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet, orrr look who's talking, orrrr I hate to say it sweety, but you are too nice to be saying things like that. It just makes you sound like a total ***** *kitten* **** that wants to be the star on Jersey Shore (lmao I don't even watch that show, but I heard the cast consists of *kitten*)." But then again I can be rude and immature when people are rude and immature to me haha so you probably shouldn't use any of those XD
Unfriending her would be the simplest solution I suppose.0 -
That is NOT a friend. If she was concerned about your weight she could've mentioned it privately. But a statement like that is not only the opposite of what a friend would say but totally uncalled for and disrespectful! You are are beautiful at any weight, if she didn't like the picture she didn't have to look at it. Keep your head up and don't let anyone steal your joy!
I say, unfriend, and delete her comment.
* I would consider myself a VERY honest straight forward person... but I am also a Christian. And I would never in a million years put something so hateful/heartless on a "friends" picture. Its not her place to say something like that... how is that even helpful? I've heard of constructive criticism but that was NOT it! That was embarrassing and slandering a friend in public! So Sorry!0 -
Unfriend.
This.0 -
Friend? Really? Ouch. I consider myself a pretty blunt and sometimes less than sensitive person...but I'd NEVER say that to a friend. Or anything even close to that. Not cool.0
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Unfriend and who would say something like that. I mean Really?!?!?
When someone makes a mean comment 90% of the time it is about them and not about you. Pity the girl who feels the need to say stuff like that.0 -
Before you unfriend her, I would make a comment back about your hard work and how far you've come. I'd also make a comment about being tactful instead of downright insulting, make her feel stupid for being really rude. Then unfriend her!
I think you look great!0 -
Tell her to f.u.c.k off the nasty cow, block and delete her a.s.s and please don't dwell on her words
You've done really well and if you let a jealous toad like her affect you, she'll have won!
Keep being determined and from what I can see off your DP you're not even fat!! You have a gorgeous figure!!
Ohmagawwwwwwd I'm so angry for you right now, I want to batter her0 -
Unfriend.
Agree strenuously. Don't bother to reply - they're not worth it.0 -
You thank them for being honest.So, I thought I looked good, so I wore a skirt I haven't been able to wear for years, and a really cute top (a little low cut) but I thought it looked cute. So, I took a picture and put it on FB.. and one of the people I thought was a friend said (and I quote) "I hate to say it sweety, but you are too fat to be wearing things like that. It just makes you look like a fat *kitten* that wants to be a stripper." What am I supposed to say to that?
Too often we delude ourselves, so you are NOT alone. It about perspective.
When I lost 40lbs from 262 down to 220, I went from a 46 inch pants size down to size 40. I thought I looked GREAT!
On our vacation, I was at a beach in swimsuit, and pictures were taken.
Pictures don't lie, and although improved, I still was fat and hanging out - looked like a walrus.
Now, I am down an additional 30 lbs or so, and things are really looking good, but we are not there yet.
Just keep it real, be glad for your progress and keep punching ahead.
You are doing great.0 -
NO!wow...
i would say something about how hard youve worked to improve your health and lose weight...explain how you havent been able to wear the skirt for years etc. and how hurt you are at their reaction. and tell them if thats the most support they can give you, maybe you shouldnt be friends any more.
even if she (he?) doesnt think it looks good, they could have said it a whole lot nicer and in a more supportive way
Not THIS ^^^^^^
The last thing you want to do is to start sniveling and crying as you explain it all to those who just don't want to hear it.
They don't care.
Delete the comment, unfriend that person and move on.
Also, remove the pic; that person was probably saying what most were thinking.0 -
rofl.. wow someones friend sounds a lil jelly! don't delete her or be mean.. kill her with kindness blow her a kiss
and keep posting all the cute pics you want hun! you look amazing .! 0 -
Unfriend.
Ditto!0 -
Nasty nasty nasty !!!!!0
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You look fine and should wear whatever you want. Someone like that is just trying to make them self feel better by bringing you down.0
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Delete them as friends! They are no use to you when you most need encouragement0
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As with the previous replies, UNFRIEND! Just from that comment shows enough of her true self to show there's no reason to be friends with someone that poisonous.0
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I would handle it with the following words, " Oh my God, Thank You so Much that was the look I was going for, oh yeah, by the way, You're a C U Next Tuesday" Oh and I would also say, I can always lose weight, but unfortunately for you, you're always gonna be an *kitten*. My favorite thing to say to people I don't know that may have pissed me off in public is this. Start, clapping as loud as you can, and then tell them Congratulations, you just won the biggest *kitten* of the day reward, keep acting the way you act and you are a sure winner for the *kitten* of the year award.0
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She's done you a favour by showing her true colours. Don't get into a debate with her. Treat her comments like *kitten* on your shoe - wipe it off and carry on walking. Avoid her if possible and if you can't make sure you use your emotional trash can for comments like that. They will come and go from all sorts of people for the rest of your life - even when you are thin - so don't take them onboard. Wipe if off and carry on. You're doing great. Stay strong.0
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Real friends would tell you nicely if things can be improved on, that is down right nasty, as the other have said Unfriend xx0
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Wow. What an awful person to say that to you. Mean, jealous and downright nasty.
Unfriend this person immediatly and email them (don't start a FB war) saying you were very hurt and s/he should be ashamed for the comment.
Don't think twice - unfriend and stay away from this toxic person!0 -
Tell her to f.u.c.k off the nasty cow, block and delete her a.s.s and please don't dwell on her words
You've done really well and if you let a jealous toad like her affect you, she'll have won!
Keep being determined and from what I can see off your DP you're not even fat!! You have a gorgeous figure!!
Ohmagawwwwwwd I'm so angry for you right now, I want to batter her
^^This!^^ Some people just dont deserve air time, let alone friendship! Forget her and move on!
Good luck :flowerforyou:0 -
Hopefully you have deleted the mean, hateful comment. You need to confront this "friend" and let them know that they are totally out of line and tell them how hard you've worked to get to where you are. If they really feel that it makes them feel better to put you down then they need to look else where because you're not going to put up with it.
You've done a great job and you know it. Don't let someone else's negativity bring you down. Use their stupidity to rev your confidence back up and prove to yourself that you can continue to lose more weight. You can do this, keep your chin up!!! :flowerforyou:0 -
agree unfriend then give us an address so we can go round and TP the house0
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You call this person a friend? Delete her and don't give it another thought.0
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give us an address so we can go round and TP the house
(raises hand) i will be part of this nocturnal TP raid!
and by the way, ahem, 'Takes one to know one' nyah nyah nyah. Usually the first person to point out who is a stripper *kitten* is usually the person who has the most 'issues' with stripper *kitten*. Go figure.
:flowerforyou: Keep up your good work and don't let negative people get you down...0 -
I am sorry this happened but your motivation and confidence should not come from the opinion of others- good or bad. All that matters is what you believe. Some say you shouldn't publicly proclaim your goal and progress to any and all (MFP is the exception). There are many people who want you to stay as you are or even want to see you fail. They see the success of others as somehow reducing their status. MFP friends are right, negative comments from others reveal that they are not your friends. A real friend loves you however you are- they love the fat you, they love the thin you. Changing your thoughts to ones of health and success will change your body but also your wider circumstances- having a positive affect on others, improved job prospects and gaining new friend and leaving others, like the Facebook "friend", behind if needed.
Repeat to yourself every day why you are doing this. Mark your progress. People will take notice and will compliment you. Keep going!0
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