help!!! :(

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stephj1216
stephj1216 Posts: 75 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I've been on this weight loss journey since the beginning of the year. My boyfriend is big as well but he lacks any kind of motivation to lose the weight! He always says he'll go to the gym with me (I hate going alone) but anytime I ask him to go with, he always has some excuse! I know he wants to lose the weight too but it seems like it's not a big deal in his life right now. I know I can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to.

Now the real problem. Since he's not partaking on this journey with me, he always wants to go out and eat. It's hard to eat healthy around him. Then when I want to go to the gym he either never wants to go or he has plans for us so I can't go. How can I get him to help me and motivate me when he isn't willing to put in the work? How can I motivate him to lose the weight as well? Maybe some couples activities that makes him exercise without realizing it?

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  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    Its really a tough one to answer but I think the best way to approach it is to tell him how important it is for you to lose weight & be healthy. If he has plans for both of you during your workout day, tell him to have it set after your workout. As far as motivating him to lose weight, like what you said you can't force him to do anything he doesn't want & with the way he does it, it seems that he isn't ready yet.

    Probably if he starts noticing you losing weight then he might be inspired to do it.
  • LeenaRuns
    LeenaRuns Posts: 1,309 Member
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    If working out, getting healthier, and losing weight are important to you, then make them a priority. Next time you want to go to the gym and your boyfriend says he has plans to do something with you, tell him he can either come with you to the gym, or you can see him another time. If you keep making concessions, it'll show him that you're not serious about this.
  • puzwuz1
    puzwuz1 Posts: 42
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    I agree with the other two. It is a tough situation, but I think the biggest thing is to emphasize how important this is to YOU and make that apparent in your decisions. I was in a very similar situation over a year (not currently with that gf anymore), but I wanted to make these changes to better my life and improve myself but she did not want to support or part-take in it herself at all, which made it EXTREMELY DIFFICULT for me to stay motivated and on track with the foods and activities we would do (or wouldn't do). Only thing I could do was to continue working out on a regular schedule, so she realized I was serious about it, and always remember what my real reason for wanting to make the transformation is, that will always drive you. Some of it too may be that he really DOES want to make the changes as well, but may feel too self-conscious about making the attempt to do so and that is hard to overcome (as we have all gone through that decision making process). As you begin to learn more about "nutrition" and "workouts", begin explaining some little things to him and see if would become interested that way, but like the others have said you can't force him to do anything either. Good luck to you, I hope it all works out in the end.

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