a funny inspirational for January!

MrsTattie

T'was the month after Christmas and all through the house,
nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The stuffing I'd nibbled, the turkey I'd taste,
the yummies I'd eaten gone straight to my waist.
The wine and the mince pies, the bread and the cheese.....
I should have just said, "no thank you, please." ...

So as I dressed myself in my husbands old shirt,
I couldn't believe my bottom and belly - the............... gi......rth!
I said to myself, as only I can,
"you can't spend the year disguised as a man!"
So away with the last of the sour-cream dip,
get rid of the fruitcake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
'til all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie, not even a lick,
instead I'll chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have Irish coffees, or chocolates, or pie.....
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry:
"I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore -
but isn't that what January's for?"

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot,
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

For those who are affected by this poem, you can ring the special diet helpline on the following number: 808080028 (Ate Nothing, Ate Nothing, Ate Nothing, Nothing to Ate)

Good luck to eveyone trying to loose weight!