What to do about a new workout partner

brigg9

Since November I've been pretty obsessed with this website. It's been a rock for my fitness goals, and I use it constantly. In December my cousin, who might as well be my brother, joined me and we've been pushing each other to new levels. We're both very happy with our new fitness and health goals, and motivate each other like crazy.

We weight lift three times a week together, cardio on our own, watch one another’s food diaries, constantly give encouragement and praise for obstacles being overcome, and lean on each other for support. I don't know how we could ever do this without one another.

So two weeks ago a very good friend of ours asks to join us. He's seen the motivation and encouragement that we give each other, the progress that we've made, and I think he just wants to join in the camaraderie. He’s very new, very uncoordinated, and LAZY. The first two are easy to work with, and only a little patience is required on our part. That’s not a problem, we’re more than happy to have him with us if he’s willing to put in the work. I’ve known the guy for 20+ years. He’s also like a brother to me, but man is he lazy.

The problem is it’s eating up time. We work out at night after working all day, and we’re a little time restricted with families to get home to. Our friend doesn’t put much effort into the exercises, he stands around a lot, and appears to be doing as little as possible. He also doesn’t track his food. He’s not taking his goals very seriously. It’s not uncommon for him to head to the bar for a post-workout meal of pizza and 3 schooners of beer (about 84 oz - and it's not lite beer).

We’re patient, we take the time to teach him what we know, encourage him, and try to motivate and push him. But I don’t think he’s really there to do the work. I think he just wants the camaraderie.

Does anyone have suggestions on how we can motivate him? At the moment he’s not taking it very seriously, and it’s eating up time that my cousin and I could be spending on hammering out our workouts and getting home to our kids.

As far as the workout goes, we know things will speed up as he gets more acclimated to our routines. We're just getting a little frustrated feeling like he's mostly wasting our time.

Any thoughts or ideas?

Jeff92se

Try to double or triple set your lifts and do them in a circuit. One follows the other. Either keep up or get the hell out of the way

brigg9

Try to double or triple set your lifts and do them in a circuit. One follows the other. Either keep up or get the hell out of the way

We do, for the most part. We super set everything and try to keep moving constantly. He's such a beginner that we often have him do the exercises without the use of weight, so that he can work on his form and flexibility. It's still a lot of effort for him.

I suppose a larger part of our frustration comes down to him not taking his diet seriously. I know you can only lead a horse to water.... We feel like he's wasting our time. We'd like to be able to motivate him, we're just not sure how.

Jeff92se

Time. Make him work hard and when he doesnt' see great changes, mention diet.

It's tough for a beginner to make ALL the changes at one time. As for diet, just ask him to log, bad / good doesn't matter. Don't even ask him to change anything YET. Once he does this, ask him to make ONE small change to ONE of his meals.

brigg9

Time. Make him work hard and when he doesnt' see great changes, mention diet.

It's tough for a beginner to make ALL the changes at one time. As for diet, just ask him to log, bad / good doesn't matter. Don't even ask him to change anything YET. Once he does this, ask him to make ONE small change to ONE of his meals.

Good ideas. I planned on giving him a friendly hassle about it later this week when I see him. We were able to get him to make an account here a short while ago, but he's never used it. Getting him to use it is going to be the hard part.

kathleen2001

Yes, I think once you can get him to log bad and good, he might see the light so to speak. One could only hope..... sounds like you are being a good friend, but you can only do so much.