Am I Dreaming?

SickofBeingChub

I have a recurring nightmare.

It keeps me up at night, haunts me as I get ready for work, and every morning as I drink my coffee. It's the nightmare that I am watching my morning news show, and as the special guest doctor talks about the problem of obesity in America, they roll the candid video of obese people walking the streets of Manhattan. Their heads not visible but their protruding stomachs and offensive size bums fill the screen, and I think to myself "well hey, at least I'm not THAT bad, right?".

Then there it is... it's me, in my favorite outfit, the one I wear to comfort myself on those mornings where I have lost the battle against the skinny jeans and revert to the bulky sweater and ill-fitting Gap ankle jeans. But it's definitely me, yes I'm the one they are talking about. Cue waterworks...


It has been this nightmare that has triggered me to start a new diet every few weeks, I've been doing this for years. It's a form of torture that I have become very accustomed to. I have done pretty much every diet that has been suggested by Dr. Oz. and my mother:


Calorie Counting - SO MUCH WORK
Atkins - umm let's just say probiotics were very necessary
Caveman/Paleo - felt good for a few days, but not realistic having steak for breakfast and same symptoms as Atkins. eeek.
Protein Shakes - never full and very loud at 5am
Dukan/Meat Only - had a nice time battling kidney stones

They all work for a week or two but they all also leave me HANGRY (a fun word I learned while reading trashy magazines about Naomi Campbell and why she throws cell phones. It's because she is so hungry that she gets angry, thus hangry) It's within this state that I make life for Alex (my amazing boyfriend) unbearable.

I can't help but laugh at myself when I get in those Hangry moods, Alex works so hard to help, suggesting every meal option under the sun that he will prepare for me, laying out healthy snacks, but of course it's nothing I want so I yell at him, pout for 40 minutes until I tell myself I deserve a cheat day and order Dominos Thin Crust Pizza. This happens four times a week.

But alas, three weeks ago I ran into a woman that I commute with on the train, who looked incredible. She's about my age, pretty face, and when I first saw her she was about 230lbs. Today she is easily 135! Of course the first thought in my head is "ugh you *****!", but then I decided after years of walking by her, I'm going to ask what the hell she's been doing. Turns out, it was simple solution, Jenny Craig. She explained that like me, she commutes to NYC everyday, and that she has limited time to cook for herself, and dieting became really hard. JC was the easiest solution since they mail the food to your house, and nothing takes more that 3minutes to prepare.

Well f$&@, if this girl can do it, I sure as hell can too!

And so it began, I got off the train and called the hotline. I was introduced to a counselor who would be checking in with me on a weekly basis and who would be my support system along the way. To my surprise I was placed with a male, he jumped at the opportunity to work with me since he is a fellow Crossfitter. With him I picked the a payment plan (20 Pounds for $20), and picked out meals for my first month. Two days later I had my first shipment of food. Alex couldn't help but laugh at how small the portions were, and as soon as I saw it my lower lip started to quiver. However after my first meal I didn't feel hungry at all. It's amazing how little you really need with each meal. They suggest a fruit and veggie with each meal which is easy enough and I have a hot meal ready on the table in minutes.

Three weeks in and as of this morning I am down 13 pounds. Pretty effective! This is even including my birthday week which was bonkers with cheat meals.

Lastly, I should probably post a note about my workout regimen. I'll have to go in more detail tomorrow, but in short since March 2010 I have been going to an incredible gym Absolute Fitness/Crossfit 732. The trainers are true sadists. They know just how to push you to get you to a level of intensity that you never thought possible. In the heat of the moment you hate every word they are saying, but when you leave, it's a high nothing can compare to. I am so fortunate to have found a family of fellow masochists who can support each other and give words of encouragement as we take our punishment! More to come...

-Chubby Girl signing out.
(Follow my journey @ www.sickofbeingchub.com)