Trying to make it, ready to give up...

LilMissTalyn

I agree with what a lot of others are saying, I know it is SOOO hard to do, but beleive it or not if you work to ignore it you will be able to tune it out, she is waking up every night for you because the last ten times she did you got up and took care of her, she doesn't need to wake up for a feeding or anything in the middle of the night at one anymore. Feed her heavey and put her to bed and leave her there. If nothing is wrong with her then you going to her isn't being mommy its enabling her to think tantrums get her her way. Same with during the day in the playpen. If you have to start by putting her in the playpen to shower. that way you will have noise to tune her out with, turn on a little music, shower get out, smile at her when you come out so she knows this is just how it is, not a punishment but a fact of life that she needs to be in there sometimes. Eventually, and it may take weeks because you have let her get her way, she will stop throwing a fit every time she is put in it and recognize it as quiet by herself time that will be over soon. you could even try and put the playpen in a room with a door and close it. She can't get hurt in there after all.

Second, I agree with the above comment that sometimes guys seem clueless because we are. If you are that tried and spent and yet making him his extravagant meal requests, he might not KNOW how tired and spent you are. Try telling him we are having salads tonight or whatever YOU need to eat for you diet. Tell him I will make YOU a lot more since you r not dieting but I am too tired from not getting any sleep all night to make two meals AND I have to get in exercise I missed taking care of her, so in order for that time to be made up meal time has to be short! He might understand! He might be upset in which case you tell him he needs to come home and be more hands on with her or you are going to go OUT of the house to do it.

I personally would take his pad away if he didn't acknowledge me and have the discussion then and there about him being an inactive parent, but that is me, I have never been nor ever will be a push over and I feel enormously disrespected when someone doesn't answer me or address my issues. You should feel that way too. Its not that he is a horrible person, I bet its jsut that you have always been this way and he has gotten comfortable with nothing ever being that big a deal to you. You need to ASK and make your needs known! If he says he will help more and doesn't you need to put YOU first. When he walks in the door, have a mediocre QUICK meal for him, or whatever you prepared for yourself and hand him the baby and say, well honey i love you I will be back in an hour or however long you need, I am going to exercise....don't ask, don't argue, make yourself a priority and everyone else will take you seriously! it will also teach him to take better care of her because he will be the only one there to clean up the milk!

becoming_a_new_me

I can't really relate to the man issue because when my daughter was that age, I was (and am) a single mom. By the time I had met and married my deadbeat (and got rid of him a couple years later), my daughter was self-sufficent enough to not need constant supervision.

Here is what I can tell you...another gal said that you should ignore her. I agree to a point on this issue. My daughter went through the midnight temper tantrum spell at that age, and it was HELL. I would check on her at first cry, give her a drink of water and her dolly, then tell her good night. She would cry for 15-20 minutes, and I would repeat this sometimes for 2-3 hours. After a week we were down to 1-2 hours, another week less than an hour, and within a month she was back to sleeping again. It could be growing pains or teething, so sometimes a bit of children's tylenol helps if your Dr is okay with this.

As for me time...take what you can get. During the midnight temper tantrums, get noise cancelling headphones and listen to a book on tape, the TV, or music. Take turns with your mate...he helped make her, he can sure as heck help take care of her. When he gets home from work, tell him you are going for a walk and don't come back for an hour. It gives you some much needed silence, and honestly he will get the clue. I can tell you that she can't get into too much trouble in an hour, and when you get home if she has an entire jar of peanut butter in her hair, shrug it off, stick her in his lap and tell him to bathe her while you make dinner.

I know easier said than done, but don't stress the little things, and let stuff go. Kids will do some crazy things, and all I can say is take a picture, shrug it off, and relax. When she becomes a teenager, the stuff she does now becomes fodder for embarassing her to the boyfriends for all she put you through. Breathe in, breathe out, relax!

Kayla165

Cleaning your house and chasing after children all day is exercise, you can burn major calories. Do not loose hope you are a strong beautiful woman and you can do this.