Eating Through Grief

cynlee1626

My 13 year old son died April 16, 2010. I have always had a tendency to eat when I am sad. I ate my way through the first year of grieving. I gained 40 pounds from April to December and found out I was pregnant in January.

I haven't had a really bad day in a long time but today is really hard. I had something trigger a huge black cloud to engulf me in sadness today. I want so bad to eat comfort food (which is fattening). I'm trying not to because I really need to lose the weight.


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Tmarie0588

I haven't lost a child, have yet to have a child but in the past 6 years I have lost way more people than I care to have lost. I know a lot of my not staying with the losing weight is because I eat when I upset. I can totally relate, when I lost my Gram, I remember eating a lot, then one of my best friends 3 years later, I went into a downward spiral of grief and eating. Then almost 2 years ago my cousin passed away, I took that hard and I think that was when I realized that I was eating when I was upset. I wasn't super close to my cousin recently but when we were younger we were together all the time and he was only a year younger than me to it was a reality check. I said I wanted to live my life better and do more living but it wasn't until these past 4 or 5 months that I really noticed how much I needed to do for me. My health got worse and I got sick and depressed and then anniversaries came up and things just went down hill. I was doing well dealing but it was so hard when I got sick, I let it all hit me. When the new year started with my health back and having dealt with a lot of issues I wasn't ready to deal with, I am ready to move on. Feel free to message me when those days hit, I get it and can support and help if needed!!!

Pebble321

I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your son, that must be devastating.
My mum passed away last year and although I did do a bit of comfort eating, the thing that kept me going and helped a lot with my mood was exercise. I started running a year ago (after being an "I could never run" person for 43 years!) and that has been the best thing EVER for me.
Is there any kind of exercise that you enjoy, and someone you could do it with? A nice long walk followed by a low cal hot chocolate might help a little in getting through the hard days.
(hugs)

fuzzimama

I'm so sorry about your son. I lost my Mum last year too (and we had a long, sad journey with her illness before that, partly because she lived in another city and I have small children, but mostly just because dying slowly is painful for everyone), and I did a lot of comfort eating over the nearly two years of her illness. I think your experience is a lot tougher than mine though, as losing a child is really incomparable.

It's only now, that I am through the toughest part of that, that I have managed to get on track and move forward. I still allow myself small amounts of discretionary food (10 - 20grams of chocolate for example), so can you include something like that safely or does it just fuel the desire for more? Also, can you just give up a day of being careful and get back on track tomorrow? (I know some people can and others can't).

Best wishes, I hope tomorrow is brighter for you.

Shock_Wave

I am so sorry to hear that. Remember 1 day of eating badly will not destroy your over all diet in the long run but thats good that you are resisting the urge. Try to replace that urge with possibly talking about your feelings with some one, or finding a peaceful place that you go to relax. Try to keep your self balanced before and after those painful times. The pain = healing process sad to say. You are the only one to take care of you so please do so for every one else around that loves you being in their lives, and stay healthy so you can live a long time for your self and your new baby and keep to the memories of your son alive for years to come.