Heavy heart
It’s like I’m re-living it all over again….
Last year at this time, I was driving to Buffalo, NY through a snowstorm. I received a phone call from my best friend’s sister, stating that her little brother and my best friend had fallen ill the previous evening during his firefighter training. I did not believe it. He was healthy and so young. We were only 3 months apart in age. We were JUST talking on the phone.
I did not even turn the lights off in my house. I ran to my car, yelling at God, “please God do not let what she said to me on the phone be true! Please!” Two hours into my drive, I continued to receive calls from his family with updates of his condition, every call adding speed to my drive through the snowstorm. My muscles were so tight from clinching the steering wheel, I was actually sore.
Along the way, I saw a terrible car accident take place. The SUV had rolled what seem to be a million times into the middle of the road embankment. I knew that my best friend needed me, but I also knew that the SUV passengers needed me. There was a reason that I saw it happen. I pulled over on the highway and ran, slipping & sliding because of the weather condition. I reached the two women that were in the embankment, hanging upside down by their seatbelts and called 911. With my best friend in my mind telling me to comfort these women, I took off my coat and gave it to the passenger, then went back to my car to get a blanket, and gave it to the driver. All of the windows had been busted, their SUV was on its roof and traffic continued to fly past us. Nobody stopped to help these women. I promised them that they were not alone. I promised I would not leave them. I was put there for a reason, to wait with them and comfort them until help arrived. 45 minutes later, the paramedics finally arrived and I ran back to my car to continue my journey.
Hours later, I made it to the hospital. Walking through the halls, his fellow firefighter brothers grabbed my hands and told me to brace myself. I still did not believe it. He is too strong for this! He has never been sick is all I could think. I made it to my best friend’s bedside and saw him laying with tubes down his throat. A million monitors everywhere. Crosses that had been draped over his limp body and placed in his hands. WHAT THE HE** IS HAPPENING?!
They all left the room and closed the curtains so I could speak to him alone. I did not know this was my final goodbye. I kissed his warm cheek and told him I loved him and told he is too damn strong for what ever is happening inside of his body! I thanked him for making me the strong, confident woman that I am today. I told him he saved my life. He saved me from me! I still do not know if Jarrett heard me, but as I was holding his hands and talking to him, tears ran down his face. The doctor said Jarrett was brain dead, but I believe it took brain activity to create the tears that I saw when I was talking to him. Later that day, after a ton of tests, the state of NY declared my best friend to be officially brain dead and he was taken off all life support.
Weeks later, (because we had to bring him home to another state) we buried my best friend. His casket rode to his last destination, wrapped in an American Flag, on of his fire truck, fire companies for all over the tri-state area led & followed, police sirens, and miles of loved ones laid him to rest. This day, one year ago, I lost him. His brother carried me away from the hole in the ground because my legs would not let me leave him. I lost my soul mate. I lost the one who taught me how to love with my whole heart. He is the one that taught me that the world owes you nothing, it gives you a place to live and a path to take, but ultimately, it is up to you to take the right path, so stop being so bitter. I lost my best friend that taught me that just because I wasn’t’ born into a loving family, did not mean that I was alone in life. I lost the person that taught me self-respect, to love myself and love others all of the time. The man that taught me to be genuine hearted and make positive decisions, is dead. The first family I really ever had, lost their son and I lost my best friend on this day, one year ago. My heart hurts every single day. There literally is not one day that goes by that I do not think about him.
Jarrett was an amazing young man with an old soul and wisdom. He shared it with every single person that he knew. He changed lives & saved lives. My best friend, Jarrett Eleam, deserves to be read about today.
I hope that after reading this, you hug or kiss the people that you love. I still do not understand why a wonderful person was taken away so young, but I am incredibly thankful and blessed to have had him in my life. He made me who I am.
Please, always be thankful for what you have.
Meet my very best friend:
This photo makes me laugh every time I look at it. He was always goofing around.
Jarrett in his “extra medium” tee shirt.
Rest In Peace
Last year at this time, I was driving to Buffalo, NY through a snowstorm. I received a phone call from my best friend’s sister, stating that her little brother and my best friend had fallen ill the previous evening during his firefighter training. I did not believe it. He was healthy and so young. We were only 3 months apart in age. We were JUST talking on the phone.
I did not even turn the lights off in my house. I ran to my car, yelling at God, “please God do not let what she said to me on the phone be true! Please!” Two hours into my drive, I continued to receive calls from his family with updates of his condition, every call adding speed to my drive through the snowstorm. My muscles were so tight from clinching the steering wheel, I was actually sore.
Along the way, I saw a terrible car accident take place. The SUV had rolled what seem to be a million times into the middle of the road embankment. I knew that my best friend needed me, but I also knew that the SUV passengers needed me. There was a reason that I saw it happen. I pulled over on the highway and ran, slipping & sliding because of the weather condition. I reached the two women that were in the embankment, hanging upside down by their seatbelts and called 911. With my best friend in my mind telling me to comfort these women, I took off my coat and gave it to the passenger, then went back to my car to get a blanket, and gave it to the driver. All of the windows had been busted, their SUV was on its roof and traffic continued to fly past us. Nobody stopped to help these women. I promised them that they were not alone. I promised I would not leave them. I was put there for a reason, to wait with them and comfort them until help arrived. 45 minutes later, the paramedics finally arrived and I ran back to my car to continue my journey.
Hours later, I made it to the hospital. Walking through the halls, his fellow firefighter brothers grabbed my hands and told me to brace myself. I still did not believe it. He is too strong for this! He has never been sick is all I could think. I made it to my best friend’s bedside and saw him laying with tubes down his throat. A million monitors everywhere. Crosses that had been draped over his limp body and placed in his hands. WHAT THE HE** IS HAPPENING?!
They all left the room and closed the curtains so I could speak to him alone. I did not know this was my final goodbye. I kissed his warm cheek and told him I loved him and told he is too damn strong for what ever is happening inside of his body! I thanked him for making me the strong, confident woman that I am today. I told him he saved my life. He saved me from me! I still do not know if Jarrett heard me, but as I was holding his hands and talking to him, tears ran down his face. The doctor said Jarrett was brain dead, but I believe it took brain activity to create the tears that I saw when I was talking to him. Later that day, after a ton of tests, the state of NY declared my best friend to be officially brain dead and he was taken off all life support.
Weeks later, (because we had to bring him home to another state) we buried my best friend. His casket rode to his last destination, wrapped in an American Flag, on of his fire truck, fire companies for all over the tri-state area led & followed, police sirens, and miles of loved ones laid him to rest. This day, one year ago, I lost him. His brother carried me away from the hole in the ground because my legs would not let me leave him. I lost my soul mate. I lost the one who taught me how to love with my whole heart. He is the one that taught me that the world owes you nothing, it gives you a place to live and a path to take, but ultimately, it is up to you to take the right path, so stop being so bitter. I lost my best friend that taught me that just because I wasn’t’ born into a loving family, did not mean that I was alone in life. I lost the person that taught me self-respect, to love myself and love others all of the time. The man that taught me to be genuine hearted and make positive decisions, is dead. The first family I really ever had, lost their son and I lost my best friend on this day, one year ago. My heart hurts every single day. There literally is not one day that goes by that I do not think about him.
Jarrett was an amazing young man with an old soul and wisdom. He shared it with every single person that he knew. He changed lives & saved lives. My best friend, Jarrett Eleam, deserves to be read about today.
I hope that after reading this, you hug or kiss the people that you love. I still do not understand why a wonderful person was taken away so young, but I am incredibly thankful and blessed to have had him in my life. He made me who I am.
Please, always be thankful for what you have.
Meet my very best friend:
This photo makes me laugh every time I look at it. He was always goofing around.
Jarrett in his “extra medium” tee shirt.
Rest In Peace
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Replies
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Wow. Thank you for sharing that. You just made me cry.
I lost one of my best friends to cancer in March last year, so I really sympathise. How amazing you were able to help those women, though. You should be very proud of yourself.0 -
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss, I wish there was something I could say to help. Stay strong, things will get better.0
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I'm sorry for your loss love. My heart goes out to you! XOXOXO0
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I am so very sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a very, very special person. So do you.0
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So sorry for your loss. It's hard to understand why bad things happen to good people.0
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This post put tears in my eyes.. gosh I'm so sorry to hear about that. He is an inspiration and I'm happy you had him in your life to be your guiding light. What a dramatic day this was and how scary to see that accident on your way to meet him in the hospital.
Very touching story. Keep your spirits high girl, he was in your life for a reason even if it was a short period of time.
*hugs*0 -
There are of course no words that will end the sadness for you.
I have no doubt that given his profession he was about life and would like you to go on with yours.
Let his dedication to helping others bring you the peace you need and to honor his memory.0 -
That was beautifully written and puts some much needed perspective in my day. Thank you.0
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Wow. Thank you for sharing that. You just made me cry.
I lost one of my best friends to cancer in March last year, so I really sympathise. How amazing you were able to help those women, though. You should be very proud of yourself.
+1 but in March 4 years ago. Still miss her.
Well done for remembering him in such a way. Take care.0 -
May Jarrett rest in peace. His smile made me smile.0
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I just wanted to add, he looks like he was a really lovely guy.0
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Thank you all for reading about Jarrett. It really does mean a lot to me.
I knew I could find support here.
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I want to tell you that it will get easier but the pain never really goes away. It does get easier though to handle it, and you will remember all the fun and good things about him. I am so sorry for your loss, but I was impressed that you stopped to help those women in the overturned SUV. It sounds like something your friend would have done, and you honnered his memory by stopping to help.
Big hugs to you!!!:flowerforyou:0 -
Wow. What a powerful story *wipes tears*...thank you for sharing. Jarrett was lucky to have such a wonderful friend in you. 0
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Heartbreaking and touching Ash. Jarrett must have been a very brave person. And lucky to have a friend like you. My heart goes out to you.0
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My heart breaks when I hear things like this. I am so sorry for your loss.0
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Just wanted to add my support in your difficult time....hope you find solace from your grief 0
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wow.....as I am reading your post I have tears falling down my face.
I am soooo sorry for your loss!! My goes out to you
Sounds like Jarrett was an amazing guy!
It's awesome that you stopped to help those women in the accident...
I bet Jarretts angel was there helping you every step of the way as he is today.
As time goes by it will get alittle easier but Jarrett will always be with you....stay strong & God bless you!!0 -
Aw man, I promised myself i wouldnt cry!
Hugs for you girl..you sound like an amazing friend and Jarrett was extremely lucky to have you :flowerforyou:0 -
OH MY GOSH that made me cry. What a sad but fabulous story. You are so very lucky to have such a wonderful person in your life. I know it's hard as he's gone, but focus on all the wonderful things you now have in your life because of him. He obviously made a huge impact on you. Blessings to you!0
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I am in tears at my desk in work
I can't imagine your pain and frustration
I almost lost my fiance 5 years ago, we were 19 and he had a heart attack one day, just dropped to the ground holding his chest and went unconscious. In the months previous, he had gone to hospital because he had been having chest pains, but they sent him away with 'indigestion' being the cause
He had emergency surgery to place a stent into his left main artery in his heart, and he died on the table. I cant remember much of that week, when I look back I just have flashes, it was like I was drunk the whole time. We were so young, yet we had been together so long (since we were 14)
Now he is on medication for life, he has had another heart attack, a mild one, but other than that he is good. He was in college studying sports and leisure management before he had the heart attack. He was in great health, was a great weight, perfect.
Life doesn't make any sense. Things happen for absolutely no reason. Some people like to think it's the mystery of the faith etc, or that it's God testing us. But I don't agree. I really do like to think, about most things in life, that everything happens for a reason. But there are certain things that I just can't find a reason for. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why can so many druggies, junkies, murderers, rapists, horrible people, why can they have kids and we can't? I have so many questions but i've just come to the conclusion that life is random, things happen and that's all.
I'm so sorry about your friend. My heart aches for you. I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain. Sending you a hug x 0 -
Wow. All I can say is thank you for sharing and {{{warm Fuzzies}}} during this hard time.0
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Thank you for sharing this story. I am sorry you've had to endure all of this and I hope you are able to continuing growing and coping through your loss. His memory lives on forever through you. Hugs.0
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Made me cry. You have an angel watching over you. Glad the lessons he taught you helped shape the person you are today...he sounds like a truly lovely person. (hugs)0
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So sorry for your loss. The good ones leave us far too soon.0
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My heart goes out to you Ash and thanks for sharing your story, I'm in tears still. Anniversaries and birthdays are always a bit harder, but hold onto those memories and stories (extra medium t) they will help ease the pain of missing him.0
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Just reading this heart-felt story made me bawl my eyes out. It's tough to mourn! Losing a friend or someone that is so close is always really difficult. Unfortunately we can never find out why we lose such great people too soon sometimes, but I like to think of it as someone I can always inspire to be that will constantly be watching over me.
I recently lost my Pop-Pop. I know he wasn't young like your wonderful friend, but he was extremely young at heart and strived to live as long as possible. I was so close to him and losing him has really torn me apart.
I pray that you find peace and comfort! Grieving is always hard, but like your friend would tell you, you're not alone. We are all here to help you. Keep your chin up!0 -
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So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story, it made me cry. I lost my mother to cancer 8 years ago and you never recover from the loss of a loved one. People say time will heal you...but it does not. Time just helps you learn to live with it. The pain is always there, the emptiness our loved ones leave can never be replaced.
He was lucky to have you as a best friend. Remember that now he is your guardian angel...although you cant see him or hear him, he is there with you guiding you every step of the way. Just as he would when he was here.
Sending you a big hug!
Karina0
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