Parents who have younger kids! HELP!

Options
Ralstonk2
Ralstonk2 Posts: 345 Member
in Chit-Chat
Anybody out there have younger kids now or your kids are older and had to deal with bad behavior? My son is 4 1/2. Daughter is 2. He whines doing the "ehh ehh ehh" crap that I CAN'T stand, throwing himself on the floor and kicking while whining and hitting. Does anybody have any tips or advice they can give me? Please. I'm desperate! I'm going to make a behavior chart for both of my kids to chart their good and bad behavior with stickers. Anything that worked for you or know something that does work? HELP! TIA!
«1

Replies

  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
    Options
    Straight Jacket??

    I am joking.

    Good luck, sister!! Hopefully something that he will grow out of soon?
  • Ralstonk2
    Ralstonk2 Posts: 345 Member
    Options
    LOL Yeah no kidding! It's been like this for a year now! Just not getting better!
  • pretty_ribbons
    pretty_ribbons Posts: 154 Member
    Options
    i count to 3 very firmly if the bad behaviour doesn't stop, i smack them on the bottom, and it works and i dont ever have to smack them because i never get to 3
  • dadoffo
    dadoffo Posts: 422 Member
    Options
    When my 4 year old acts up and starts crying, I tell her to go to her room and do it there because I don't want to see it. She stops. It's all about getting attention and when they see that they are not getting it they will stop. At least that's what I experienced with my kids. I have a 12 (b), 8 (g), 7(b) and 4 (g).
  • therealangd
    therealangd Posts: 1,861 Member
    Options
    He's looking for attention. You know the saying Negative attention is better than no attention at all.
  • mleoni092708
    mleoni092708 Posts: 629 Member
    Options
    Yep, mine is 3. She gets the 1-2-3 and then gets put in her room with the door closed for a few minutes to "work it out". When she's calm, I open the door and explain why she's in trouble, ask her if she understands, then let her back out with the understanding that if she does it again, it's back to time out. If I open the door and she flips out again, door gets closed. Seems to be working but she sure does like to test us.
  • dadoffo
    dadoffo Posts: 422 Member
    Options
    Yep, mine is 3. She gets the 1-2-3 and then gets put in her room with the door closed for a few minutes to "work it out". When she's calm, I open the door and explain why she's in trouble, ask her if she understands, then let her back out with the understanding that if she does it again, it's back to time out. If I open the door and she flips out again, door gets closed. Seems to be working but she sure does like to test us.

    Pushing the bounderies are in their nature. Sometimes it's cute but most of the time I have to pull my hair in frustration.
  • anhancock10
    anhancock10 Posts: 148 Member
    Options
    I worked at a daycare for 3 years and time outs work so well but usually not for the parents haha. Since they are used to getting away with stuff with you it usually doesnt work, We would sit a kid down and sit down next to them and talk to them like you would an adult " you cannot do that because it hurts our friends" If they continue to whine say " i will not talk to you until your ready to talk " and make them sit there until they are done having the tantrum. If that doesnt work i use the corner for my 7 yr old...all i have to do is threaten it now and she is good :) Kids do not like to stand and stare at the wall! if that doesnt work then....um i have no idea i am a semi strict parent and my kids only act crazy in my home around me....everyone else in public thinks they are soooo good...im like well come home with me sometime and you will see the real them haha!!
  • mmmichelle8486
    mmmichelle8486 Posts: 269 Member
    Options
    I worked at a daycare for 3 years and time outs work so well but usually not for the parents haha. Since they are used to getting away with stuff with you it usually doesnt work, We would sit a kid down and sit down next to them and talk to them like you would an adult " you cannot do that because it hurts our friends" If they continue to whine say " i will not talk to you until your ready to talk " and make them sit there until they are done having the tantrum. If that doesnt work i use the corner for my 7 yr old...all i have to do is threaten it now and she is good :) Kids do not like to stand and stare at the wall! if that doesnt work then....um i have no idea i am a semi strict parent and my kids only act crazy in my home around me....everyone else in public thinks they are soooo good...im like well come home with me sometime and you will see the real them haha!!


    Oh yes. I always get "Wow, they are SO well behaved, you're so lucky"

    Yeah okay. I have 3 year old twin boys and a 2 year old daughter.... you think they are always like this?? In their home environment where they are comfortable, their true colors show!
  • SeaSiren1
    SeaSiren1 Posts: 242 Member
    Options
    For all of my children, tantrums = ignore. They don't like to be ignored since they wanted attention. The behavior seemed to pass quickly.
  • brigg9
    brigg9 Posts: 104 Member
    Options
    When my five year old starts acting inappropriately like that, I tell her in a firm voice that her attitude isn't called for, and she'll go in the time-out chair if she doesn't stop. Then I start counting. If I get to three, which sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, then she goes in the chair for four minutes. I re-explain why she is getting a time out, and proceed to *not* give her attention for the duration of her time out. At that point *nobody* is allowed to give her attention, and she's not allowed to have toys in the chair. If she continues to scream/cry/irritate, etc, I let her know she'll stay there another four minutes until she's quiet and calms down.

    Needless to say, she doesn't like getting time outs. She doesn't like being ignored for those few minutes. I think the boredom is the worst of it for her, but it definitely gets her to shape up.

    When the time out is over, I re-explain why she got a time out and why her behavior was inappropriate. We hug, I have her apologize, and then she's allowed to continue playing again.

    No spanking or yelling needs to be involved, she knows I'm the boss, and her attitude usually shapes up after she's had a chance to settle down.
  • grapenutSF
    grapenutSF Posts: 648 Member
    Options
    I took a free webinar from this woman-- she's very knowledgeable: http://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/
  • TripleJ3
    TripleJ3 Posts: 945 Member
    Options
    Usually I walk away, maybe tell them I will not do whatever its is they are wanting until they can ask in the correct way (by now they know what that means) My walking away and not putting up with their behavior usually works. Sometimes they do end up in their rooms.

    My daughters are 8,6 and 2. Recently I just had a talk with my 6 year old about the more she behaves badly about whatever it is she's wanting, the more and more we will not be willing to listen or do. Luckily my girls are pretty well behaved, the youngest is probably the first one to ever go through a "terrible two" type phase.

    But my girls know I mean business. I don't argue with a child. I say this is what will happen if you continue and I almost always follow through. In a few situations I have allowed them to redeem themselves. They get no excuses. I don't care what their age, theres no get out of jail card because they are "younger". They each have an expectation on how to behave and while they are in my home I will be sure that they will continue to behave this way.

    I am not a spanker although there have been times I wanted to! I just didn't see how it would be effective in my type of parenting. I teach them not to hit, they have heard me say over and over that you don't hit someone you love (I came from a violent home so this is an important lesson for me to instill in them) I am not judging those who do spank, but like I said how can I tell my kids not to hit, we don't hit those we love but turn around and hit them? They just would't take me very seriously.

    All kids are different and some are harder than others. Be firm and follow through and start while they are young. No begging or being wishy washy. Yes, being a parent is work and not always fun. It may take you half the day to get them them so stay in their room and to stop coming out, especially if this is a new thing in your house. Also taking something away then explaining how they can earn it back seems to work to.

    Good Luck!

    Also to add, I run a daycare in my home and sitting out of an activity works on those kids also. I do have some that are more work, but don't let them monopolize my attention since that is usually what they are after.
  • LauraSmyth28
    LauraSmyth28 Posts: 399 Member
    Options
    My kids are 7 and 2. I have always ignored tantrums. If you give them attention it makes the tantrums more regular and last longer as it's attention they are craving. Reward good behaviour. Give attention and praise for 'ordinary' good behaviour (like eating dinner, playing well with sibling etc..).

    I also used time out with my 7 year old when he was younger, and will be using it again with the 2 year old when he's old enough to get it.

    One warning for bad behaviour and then time out (bottom step of the stairs in this house but I don't like to call it the naughty step).

    They DO grow out of it, I promise xx
  • carrie_eggo
    carrie_eggo Posts: 1,396 Member
    Options
    I ignore tantrums OR I put them in time-out......

    I currently have 4 three year olds screaming and running around my living room. I'll trade ya.
  • Ralstonk2
    Ralstonk2 Posts: 345 Member
    Options
    i count to 3 very firmly if the bad behaviour doesn't stop, i smack them on the bottom, and it works and i dont ever have to smack them because i never get to 3

    Oh yeah I used to do that a long time ago, he laughs and then starts counting with me! That does NOT work for mine! Glad it works for you though.
  • pretty_ribbons
    pretty_ribbons Posts: 154 Member
    Options
    i count to 3 very firmly if the bad behaviour doesn't stop, i smack them on the bottom, and it works and i dont ever have to smack them because i never get to 3

    Oh yeah I used to do that a long time ago, he laughs and then starts counting with me! That does NOT work for mine! Glad it works for you though.

    oh dear! then try ignoring him completely, or putting him somewhere he doesnt want to be, my son had such a bad tantrum once and threw a pack of rice crispies on the floor, it spilt everywhere, then he continued to scream like a lunatic so i put him outside and closed the front door! only for a few minutes and i knew he was safe, he was so shocked he forgot about his tantrum
  • Munque
    Munque Posts: 123
    Options
    So glad my kids have outgrown that. I have 15 (b) 14(g) 11 (b) 11(g) 10(g) & 8 (g). I always sent them to their rooms with tantrums, and they could come out and talk when they were ready to act like humans again. Every once in a while I'll get a good tantrum from one or two of them, but I don't understand whiney *kitten*, so they get over it pretty quickly if they actually need something.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
    Options
    I walk away, before I start laughing.
  • jenniet04
    jenniet04 Posts: 1,054 Member
    Options
    When my 4 year old acts up and starts crying, I tell her to go to her room and do it there because I don't want to see it. She stops. It's all about getting attention and when they see that they are not getting it they will stop. At least that's what I experienced with my kids. I have a 12 (b), 8 (g), 7(b) and 4 (g).

    ^^^ This!!! We don't tolerate whining and if they are going to do it, they get sent to their rooms. If they don't go on their own, I pick them up and place them in there and tell them that they can come out when they are done.

Categories