Body image issues

morenita71

...almost 2 stone (26lbs) down since June last year. Improved gym attendance (3/4 x a week) - dropped two dress sizes - wearing UK size 10. But yesterday it struck me when I was in my body combat class and I was looking at the other people in the gym I realised that the women's bodies I liked most were not necessarily smaller than me - they just had nicer figures! (Or a figure I would prefer to have).

I am grateful for having a body that is healthy (my motivation for losing weight was primarily preventative health) and I know I shouldn't be too bothered by the shape of it but I have quite a thick waist, slim hips and large chest. If I'm feeling particularly harsh about myself I feel like a man in drag wearing fake comedy breasts!!! I do like small waist/large hipped figures because i personally think they look sexier or maybe I think I would feel sexier if I had a figure like that - who knows? My partner has always been incredibly appreciative of my body whatever size I've been so I hold him in no way responsible for feeling bad about myself.

I know there is no way I can change my overall figure but I suddenly felt quite annoyed at myself that I clearly have some self esteem issues about my body which haven't necessarily got better by losing weight. In fact in some ways it's got worse because I can't blame being overweight. (it's like people who have cosmetic surgery who never really deal with the underlying insecurity/self-esteem issues even when they get that perfect nose/breast/butt implants etc..) Plus because I've started wearing more fitted clothes I'm also uncomfortable sometimes about drawing attention to myself. It's all a bit more complicated psychologically than I had envisaged.

So I was wondering whether other people have experienced ambivalent feelings after losing weight. Or still felt insecure/low self-esteem even after losing their weight. Would like to hear if anyone's felt/feeling the same.

MrsOMG

Bah you're so not alone on this. I am a big old perpetual bag of insecurities. As are most. Well done for realising it and wanting to confront it.

I know exactly what you mean. I don't know what the solution is but what you've said reminds me of something I thought a little while ago when reading a magazine article about "real women" and embracing them. It featured pics of Kim Kardashian and that obscenely curvy girl from Mad Men as role models / ambassadors of "Real women".Ah yes because that's more obtainable and realistic body shape to achieve.

It's all imagery I think, the skinny look means disciplined, the curvy means womanly blah blah.

I'm thinking of banning myself from magazines.

I guess a positive step is to realise for all the hips you stare at enviously, there is a big hipped girl envious of your frame as that's the area she'll prob want to lose weight off the most. I would love to narrow then ratio between my waist and hips for starts!

jodieunited

im forever comparing myself =(
i actually have a small waist with big hips and seriously i hate my hips i wish i could just squeeze them smaller haha.
ive got an hourglass figure and i really dont like it, for me id much rather be petite.
Im also 5ft 11 and sometimes wish i was shorter because to me that seems more feminine.

jodieunited

I guess a positive step is to realise for all the hips you stare at enviously, there is a big hipped girl envious of your frame as that's the area she'll prob want to lose weight off the most. I would love to narrow then ratio between my waist and hips for starts!

me!!

amandavictoria80

I still have those feelings. A lot.
But I also have BDD (Body Dismorphic Disorder). So it's a battle day to day with image for me.

karagav

you are definitely not alone!!!
i have extreme issues with my short midsection....i remember one day i must've dwelled on it for hours, trying to look up ways to make my midsection appear longer, and the works.
i think these are just things we will have to accept one way or another because they're definitely not going away. but you're not the only one!!!

Troy67

I have body image/self esteem issues too. I usually think i am better looking than what i really am.

Haha!

Troy67

Morenita,
It is weird how our brains work in regards to weight, body image, etc.
When I was gaining weight all those years and getting to 336 pounds, I would always look in the mirror and say "I don't look that big".
Now that I am down to 171 pounds, people are telling me not to lose anymore, you are skinny, etc. But my brain is now focussing on every bit of flab that it can find. The doctor tells me it is mostly extra skin, etc. and I am probably a 32 inch waist without it (I can wear a 34 now) and to give it a good year to tone before worrying about it. But the brain keeps saying burn calories, lose weight, etc. Wish it would have told me that when I was at my heaviest. lol
Good luck to you in your journey and we are all here to root you on. Have a good night!

Troy

mjf0461

In all honesty I don't think there are to many women out there that are totally content with their body. Why? Because of what the society insteals in us growing up.
Me I am 5'10' and I wear 3-4" heels daily, so I am 6'2" easy. I am still overweight but I have lost 71 lbs so far. I still see myself weighing 267.5 lbs and I still see my thighs at 27.5" and hips almost hitting 50". I have a hourglass figure looking at my pics that really surprises me. Never realized that till someone on my sight pointed it out to me. I am appreciative of that. But I wish I could drop more inches off the hips and thighs. My thighs are still measureing at 23", but I am muscular as well. So I may not lose them I don't know.
We just have to learn to love what we have, do the best we can to keep it looking good and healthy..

stylistchik

I think everyone has issues like that. Did you ever see the movie Mean Girls with Lindsay Lohan where they're all picking on themselves in the mirror saying things like 'I have man shoulders" and "my skin is awful" and the main character says "I used to think there was just skinny and fat but apparently there's a whole bunch of things that can be wrong with your body!"

I don't think anyone appreciates the body they've been given because that's all they've ever had. I'm a hairdresser and people are the same way about their hair, they can't appreciate the good things because they're too focused on the bad. Chances are there's another girl in your class who wishes she had your chest, or your height, or your *kitten* because it's bigger/leaner/smaller than hers!

asmithson19

I hear ya!!

I also think its a case of 'we want what we can't have" which makes it even more super annoying!

I have a very 'broad' look and I hate it - I have the shoulders that look and feel a 1metre wide!

But... All I can say is when we have these feelings we need to find something about ourselves that we do like... and as they saying goes 'there is always someone who is worse off than us!'....

Take a look in the mirror guys and find the best bit and focus on that! ;-D

morenita71

thanks - good to know I'm not alone!

Scorpioangel

For a while there after I reached my goal weight I felt really good about myself but here lately I have been struggling with body issues. Sometimes I even feel like the old me. The other day I was in a contest and thought that all the other girls were thinner than me and more fit when in fact, they weren't. I have body dimorphic disorder and I guess it is never going to go away It sucks. I think that I am harder on myself than anyone else.