My Boyfriend has cyber "girlfriends"

amunet07

I have lost 32 lbs, bought new clothes, new make up, and am using a fancy face creams to even my skin tone... all this and I'm still insecure!

My boyfriend Plays a video game called Second Life, last night he was "gesturing" (an action that you choose from the game where he spanked a girls butt and then she got on all fours sticking out her butt (that is when I noticed:noway: )... then he changed to his girl character and went shopping with her or another for lingeree and leather body suits...

Am I wierd that this makes me feel insecure??

WARNING TMI (we havent been able to have "relations" lately due to a medical issue I've been having and that has me wondering)

amunet07

I have lost 32 lbs, bought new clothes, new make up, and am using a fancy face creams to even my skin tone... all this and I'm still insecure!

My boyfriend Plays a video game called Second Life, last night he was "gesturing" (an action that you choose from the game where he spanked a girls butt and then she got on all fours sticking out her butt (that is when I noticed:noway: )... then he changed to his girl character and went shopping with her or another for lingeree and leather body suits...

Am I wierd that this makes me feel insecure??

WARNING TMI (we havent been able to have "relations" lately due to a medical issue I've been having and that has me wondering)

molsongirl

Are these "girls" actual women playing along, or are they characters he has created?

kerrilucko

if it bothers you it's not ok so you need to say something.

Also there is more than one way of... ahem... having relations. Not that that's gonna happen with him behaving like he is though

amunet07

They are actual girls he is talking too via the in game chat room or his Team Speak via microphone/head set.

songbyrdsweet

I agree that you should say something. He might not see it as a problem since it's 'virtual'---like if it's fake, you won't have a problem with it. But everyone has different boundaries. Maybe you should find another way to be physically intimate so neither of you feel neglected in any way.

Dave198lbs

your boyfriend acts like a girl and you are feeling insecure? seems he is the one with the issues,,,

amunet07

if it bothers you it's not ok so you need to say something.

Also there is more than one way of... ahem... having relations. Not that that's gonna happen with him behaving like he is though

Ya... too be honest... I've been kind of put off by this game thing and havent been in the mood to do him any favors. He usually is playing the game while I'm asleep and then sleeps while I'm at work anyway so that makes timing difficult.

amunet07

To be quite honest... if I didn't know better... I'd want to give him a taste of his own medicine... but I'm not quite that cyber savy and we can't be in the game at the same time or something crashes. ??? shrug

songbyrdsweet

To be quite honest... if I didn't know better... I'd want to give him a taste of his own medicine... but I'm not quite that cyber savy and we can't be in the game at the same time or something crashes. ??? shrug

I don't think it's worth all the trouble to sink to someone's level to make them feel as bad as they make you feel. IMO, it's easier to just share your feelings...that leaves room to grow and bond as a couple.

amunet07

your boyfriend acts like a girl and you are feeling insecure? seems he is the one with the issues,,,

Ya... lol... I wondering about that too Dave! good point. :laugh:

molsongirl

WHOA....I'd have issue with that as well, have you told him it bothers you? and this has nothing to do with your insecurities, if anything he's adding to them! If it bothers you, and it would DEFINITELY bother me, say something, a mans reaction tells all. If he gets defensive, you need to wonder why? he should be completely ok, deleting his game if that's what it takes to make you comfortable. You should be his priority not these little on line crotch crickets he's playing with. Just to make you feel better, they're probably 300 pounds, 65 years old, smell like day old cigarette smoke, and have one tooth flopping in the wind....seriously , talk to him. I had this little problem with my son, what is it with men and sex? for the first 16 years of their life they go without it, you think a couple weeks here and there for whatever reason would be bloody walk in the park, do they forget that they have hands?? worked for them in high school!!!GRRRR! :grumble: jeeez, everything today is pi*sing me off! :laugh:

molsongirl

if it bothers you it's not ok so you need to say something.

Also there is more than one way of... ahem... having relations. Not that that's gonna happen with him behaving like he is though

Ya... too be honest... I've been kind of put off by this game thing and havent been in the mood to do him any favors. He usually is playing the game while I'm asleep and then sleeps while I'm at work anyway so that makes timing difficult.

Who wants to even attempt to have "other" relations when he's off in lala land spanking his monkey with cyber *kitten*???? GRRRRRR...AGAIN!!

PrettyOscar

Sounds like BS to me! Anything that makes you feel insecure that he is doing should be stopped even if it is playing a game on the internet. I think if he's doing something that makes you feel bad it's disrespectful.

amunet07

WHOA....I'd have issue with that as well, have you told him it bothers you? and this has nothing to do with your insecurities, if anything he's adding to them! If it bothers you, and it would DEFINITELY bother me, say something, a mans reaction tells all. If he gets defensive, you need to wonder why? he should be completely ok, deleting his game if that's what it takes to make you comfortable. You should be his priority not these little on line crotch crickets he's playing with. Just to make you feel better, they're probably 300 pounds, 65 years old, smell like day old cigarette smoke, and have one tooth flopping in the wind....seriously , talk to him. I had this little problem with my son, what is it with men and sex? for the first 16 years of their life they go without it, you think a couple weeks here and there for whatever reason would be bloody walk in the park, do they forget that they have hands?? worked for them in high school!!!GRRRR! :grumble: jeeez, everything today is pi*sing me off! :laugh:

Girl! I love your attitude & personality...I love to read your posts. :drinker: :laugh:

MattySparky

I think it's just a game and if it makes you feel insecure in your relationship then maybe there is another problem that isn't being addressed between the two of you. Its just a harmless game right?

molsongirl

Sounds like BS to me! Anything that makes you feel insecure that he is doing should be stopped even if it is playing a game on the internet. I think if he's doing something that makes you feel bad it's disrespectful.

wow, that's exactly what I said, but way nicer! :happy: :laugh:

CassieNic

it could just be really girly men pretending to be girls talking to him.

amunet07

it could just be really girly men pretending to be girls talking to him.

That would be funny! lol :laugh:

Dave198lbs

it could just be really girly men pretending to be girls talking to him.

That would be funny! lol :laugh:

that would be freaky

amunet07

I think it's just a game and if it makes you feel insecure in your relationship then maybe there is another problem that isn't being addressed between the two of you. Its just a harmless game right?

I don't think it is harmless... I have a friend who discovered his wife talking dirty to guys on myspace... she eventually went as far as talking about meeting them... they are divorced now... that wasn't harmless.:mad:

sunflower8926

It is SO not okay.

I cannot believe the amount of women who tolerate any kind of porn addiction to compete with them in their marriage. These are not only "real" outside relationships, they are deviant outside relationships with women who have deviant sexual tendencies as well. Can you see this leading anywhere good? I sure can't.

If you really want to plumb the depths of your husband's behaviour, buy a program that monitors activity on your computer. Then you can see what he's doing when you're not around.

keiko

I think it's just a game and if it makes you feel insecure in your relationship then maybe there is another problem that isn't being addressed between the two of you. Its just a harmless game right?

I don't think it is harmless... I have a friend who discovered his wife talking dirty to guys on myspace... she eventually went as far as talking about meeting them... they are divorced now... that wasn't harmless.:mad:

Sadly this is happening more and more as people meet and form attachments through the internet. We always think it's harmless until it's gone to far.

For me, I'd have to talk with him and tell him how you feel. We all talk with guys on here. My DH talks with women on pogo when he's playing games. But he's playing chess, cribbage... Not games of a sexual nature. Yes I know what he's playing because I can look at his computer screen just like he can come on and look/read mine at anytime.

One thing we both have agreed on is to not put any hint of anything inappropiate in our marriage. We are both careful to think would I want my spouse to be doing this? We have talked about these things and agree that talking or doing things of a sexual nature even in virtual land is for us wrong and not want we want in our marriage.

I hope that if or when you talk to him you will be able to stay calm, not place blame. Just let him know your feelings. And I hope he is receptive to not only hearing them but understanding them.

ChubbyBunny

I agree with a lot of the others.
if it bothers you it needs to be brought up.

I wouldn't be comfortable with it.
It's a boundary issue for sure.

I have a buddy who's husband did the same thing on Myspace, thinks it's harmless up until the point of him and the chic deciding to meet up..... :huh:

michaelhe

You should not feel that you have to lose weight or do things to earn his love and attention. Do you want to always feel like you need to compete to continue your relationship?

Chances are that he is not just doing this because of how a recent issue is affecting your relationship. These online sites can be addicting. Some people can innocently play them while others cannot. It is impacting your relationship whether he wants to admit it or not (your post is proof of that) and he needs to honor you here or you should read the writing on the wall.

-Mike

chinadolly

WHOA....I'd have issue with that as well, have you told him it bothers you? and this has nothing to do with your insecurities, if anything he's adding to them! If it bothers you, and it would DEFINITELY bother me, say something, a mans reaction tells all. If he gets defensive, you need to wonder why? he should be completely ok, deleting his game if that's what it takes to make you comfortable. You should be his priority not these little on line crotch crickets he's playing with. Just to make you feel better, they're probably 300 pounds, 65 years old, smell like day old cigarette smoke, and have one tooth flopping in the wind....seriously , talk to him. I had this little problem with my son, what is it with men and sex? for the first 16 years of their life they go without it, you think a couple weeks here and there for whatever reason would be bloody walk in the park, do they forget that they have hands?? worked for them in high school!!!GRRRR! :grumble: jeeez, everything today is pi*sing me off! :laugh:

HAHAHAHAHA!....well said gf.....crotch crickets...lmao! I've never heard of those, but I know I don't want them!

Mommy2Girls

Bottom line - if it makes you uncomfortable in any way then you need to talk to him about it. And make sure that you don't let it discourage you in your weight loss journey. Feeling insecure is never a good feeling, especailly when it's within a relationship.

dothompson

[
Ya... too be honest... I've been kind of put off by this game thing and havent been in the mood to do him any favors. He usually is playing the game while I'm asleep and then sleeps while I'm at work anyway so that makes timing difficult.

You guys have some serious issues that are far too complex to solve here. If you want to save your relationship then I would recommend that you stop talking about this here or with girlfriends and take him to discuss it with a counelor, clergy or older advisors. The path you're on is not going to get you to a healthy strong relationship.

MyaPapaya75

I have lost 32 lbs, bought new clothes, new make up, and am using a fancy face creams to even my skin tone... all this and I'm still insecure!

My boyfriend Plays a video game called Second Life, last night he was "gesturing" (an action that you choose from the game where he spanked a girls butt and then she got on all fours sticking out her butt (that is when I noticed:noway: )... then he changed to his girl character and went shopping with her or another for lingeree and leather body suits...

Am I wierd that this makes me feel insecure??

WARNING TMI (we havent been able to have "relations" lately due to a medical issue I've been having and that has me wondering)

Im an avid SL player and not to bring you down or anything but nothing ever comes good from it for the most part everyone is so deceitful in that game and up to no good the problem is that it isnt a game its a virtual world where you can do anything you want with no consequence.....the spank animation is something that she wears on her avatar and is activated by him clicking her tush usually ...and her getting on all fours is usually activated by a collar most commonly worn by bdsm gorean roleplayers in SL....to call it a game would be very incorrect because these people spend countless hours basically living inside Second Life...I had to catch myself as well because I was spending 10+ hrs a day on Second Life neglecting my Real Life..I wish you luck all I can suggest is that you join the game with him...and see whats up

purrrr

i once had a bf who was virgin before me but he was into 'weird' cyber stuff, then he would look for other girls and after we broke up i learn he's gone into all sorta real crazy stuff like doing it at bizzare places like cemetaries, young, old women, men, animals and what not, you have no idea how much crap there might be in a seemingly innocent guy... i know i am very prejudiced but my best advice is to kick his sore butt asap before he has hurt you more than what he already has...

i'm sorry you are going through this :ohwell:

molsongirl

[
Ya... too be honest... I've been kind of put off by this game thing and havent been in the mood to do him any favors. He usually is playing the game while I'm asleep and then sleeps while I'm at work anyway so that makes timing difficult.

You guys have some serious issues that are far too complex to solve here. If you want to save your relationship then I would recommend that you stop talking about this here or with girlfriends and take him to discuss it with a counelor, clergy or older advisors. The path you're on is not going to get you to a healthy strong relationship.

thinking you're jumping to conclusions, you have her in a nutty professors office, "saving" her relationship, you have no clue how serious this is, she's not asking for marital counsel, just wether or not she's right in feeling the way she does....it's all about insecurities not wether she's happy with the clod. :noway: