Discussion with the boyfriend

Katemarie34

Had a discussion with my boyfriend the other night, and we were talking about our dislikes with each other. He had mentioned that because of my past with relationships (and their non existent or really crappy families) that it takes me a little longer to feel comfortable in situations. I have a huge- really close family- but never had that with anyone else. They are one of those that some hug/some don't and are really really close too- but it's just sometimes weird. They're really close/clicky too almost and i'm just not that type of person. So I was wondering- in situations like that where i'm just really shy (which i'm assuming they're taking as *****y or somehow something different than what i'm meaning it to be) how do you open up more? Or become that more outgoing... Any suggestions? I didn't think it was an issue because I do the hugging/and messing around with the kids/and go out with them and stuff.... but I guess maybe i'm not coming accorss and doing as much as I seem to think i am. Thanks

EmCarroll1990

I don't know if there's much you can do, it's all about being comfortable. Give yourself more time and eventually you'll adjust to they way his family is, if not, then oh well. :P

Carl01

terrellc1

My thoughts, exactly!

Sh1tsRainbows

LOL oh Carl!!! unfortunately you have a point.. :drinker:

HeelsAndBoxingGloves

and carl for the win!

JDMPWR

Try to keep and open mind, I know it's hard but you can never overcome this problem without trying to.

cindy4mica

I come from a large, Italian family (when we get together, we're talking about 25 people). It's the norm to kiss/hug when we see each other, and when we say, "goodbye". In fact, if someone forgets, we remind them (family members, of course). I've had friends/boyfriends meet them for the first time and go, "Whoa. Affection overload." No one expected them to jump in and start kissing all over everyone. You do what YOU feel comfortable doing. Maybe once you warm up to them, you'll feel a little differently. And your bf should understand and support that. If you're not raised being that type of person, it's hard to be thrown into a situation like that and be expected to conform immediately. Just take it slow. There's nothing wrong with a warm smile and a friendly "hello". And if all else fails, go Carl's route. LOL

Katemarie34

I totally like Carol's idea!! Thank you everyone!! Yeah i thought I came from a family that was like that until meeting his- and we aren't even half of what they are lol I'm used to big families/loud families but not like this. So i'll just give it time- and hopefully he gives it time.

christine24t

It's hard with that, because families are close-knit and often don't like "intruders" even if the "intruder" makes someone happy. I think you just have to be friendly. Greet people first, try and remember their names, and get them to share stories.