My name is Natalie and I have a food addiction

Nattiejean57

Today I had a real "ah ha" moment.

I have been killing myself at they gym which was a huge change for me. I had gotten into the habit of working all day, coming home making super and then plopping my butt on the couch and not moving until I had to go to bed. This was a pattern I repeated for years and before I knew it 60 pounds had crept up on me. So I decided that was that I need a change and so like I said I having been doing some major cardio about 60-80min 5-6 times a week.

Now to the food part, I have lowering my portion sizes and eating less calories but I am eating crap. I need to be eating a high protein lower carb diet and there are days when a vegetable or fruit doesn't even enter my mouth. I am constantly thinking about eating food that isn't that great for me. Today I hit an all time low, I wanted something kinda junky for lunch but I didn't want my husband to find out I went to a fast food place so I went food shopping in a gas station. So I left with my chocolate chip cookie and my popcorn chicken and I felt pretty pleased with myself. I got int he car and took a bit of the chicken and it was awful! It was stale and tasted like pure fat but I still ate it and proceeded to finish the container. And what for????? It wasn't good, I didn't get any satisfaction from it (ok I won't lie the cookie was pretty good) I actually feel sluggish even though I work my *kitten* off at the gym so seriously what the hell is wrong with me?? And why would I feel like I need to hide what I am eating from my husband. So there I was chewing on gross chicken feeling ashamed that I am lying to my husband and that was my AH-HA moment, I have a problem.

I need to stop this unhealthy behavior. My goal is to eat cleaner and occasionally indulge in foods that are worth indulging in.

Does anyone else have the same struggles? If so how do you get over those struggles? Advice is appreciated!

cgrout78

I totally understand where you're coming from. That whole...I don't even know what I'm eating, I'm not really hungry and yet I'm stuffing my face.

I wish I had an answer for you, but I totally understand what you're saying.

keywestsunset

Yeah, I have cut my calories, but am not eating the right kinds of foods. Embarrassing to admit, but the only actual "real food" I ate today was cheerios with milk for breakfast. The rest of my calories have come from cheezits, goldfish, and cadbury mini eggs. Oh, and sweet potato chips. Gross!!! Granted, most of my days aren't this bad, but I can go days to weeks without having a piece of fruit. One of my most recent attempts to eat more healthfully is to have a serving of applesauce a day. Unfortunately, half the time I end up at the end of the day with it still in my lunch. ( I ate a bag of chips instead!)

Thank you for posting this. I just need to make more of an effort. My issue is when I look at the amount of calories I have to eat, I'm naturally going to grab a cookie instead of an apple. but I also know if I trade my junk for more healthy options, my calories will go a lot further.

Farfelue

Hello Nattiejean

This is the first time I dare post here. I'm not sure about it all...

I have a similar problem, although my junk is not KFC and the likes. I will demolish a packet of walkers extra crispy crisps (family size) or tesco's tortillas lightly salted, with a couple of glasses of wine, on the sofa, after dinner. Sometimes the kiddies chocolate bars also follow suit... very shameful.

WHY?? not because I'm hungry, not because it tastes that good.

I have been thinking a lot lately, doing a bit of introspection. I think I do it to HARM myself. I know it's bad for me, I know I don't particularly like it, I know I will wake up next morning and have low self-esteem as a result. But I do it still.

I think part of it is as you said : habit.
Second is : somehow, your brain tells you it's a treat, something nice, something to look forward to at the end of a busy day.

But it's all wrong.
I'm trying to get myself out of this spiral.
It's not food related, it's psychological and emotional.

I will crack it.
Contact me via the message board if you feel we can help each other.

PS. I have done my exercise for today, and sure enough, I have a glass of wine next to me. I will probably fall for that snack later on...

Amatxi

Nattiejean57

I think part of it is as you said : habit.
Second is : somehow, your brain tells you it's a treat, something nice, something to look forward to at the end of a busy day.

This part made me think of a quote I seen the other day "Don't reward yourself with food, your not a dog"

And I agree I thin I like to punish myself, I am so angry and disappointed with myself afterwards, it can ruin my whole day...very frustrating that is for sure

Nattiejean57

Thank you for posting this. I just need to make more of an effort. My issue is when I look at the amount of calories I have to eat, I'm naturally going to grab a cookie instead of an apple. but I also know if I trade my junk for more healthy options, my calories will go a lot further.

I am like this too and I try to remind myself that its about eating quality healthy foods that encourage a lifestyle change not just weight loss

Pollywog39

I used to eat whatever I wanted. Put a cookie in front of me, it was gone in seconds. Pizza? why, sure not. Cake? gimmeeee more. I bought crap and ate crap and drank sugary pop and just didn't give a ratz azz.

But then my doctor said, "you know, you're obese", and I talked to a nutritionist, and I started logging my food (on paper at first) and then on MFP................I started to feel better. I found I liked salads, and sparkling water is a good substitute for pop, and I can still eat cookies (just not the whole package.)

I am NOT a disciplined person. If you had told me 6 months ago that I would be in THIS place, doing THESE things, I'd have told you you're off your rocker. I hate to exercise.......but I like to walk. I hate to diet..........but I like to eat, and good food just TASTES better.

Stop dwelling............develop new habits.................don't make excuses, just move on when you do something stupid. And keep moving, keep going forward, keep on keepin' on!!! It's all you really have to do.

jenlb99

Holy crap, you sound like me!

I've spent the last two years working out like crazy -- 1 hour minimum a day, 6 days a week kickboxing (super intense). Three days a week, I'd double my workouts. Although I lost inches (and sizes), I've been stuck at my current weight and size for a solid year. The reason? MY FOOD!

I love to bake and cook... and eat. lol I don't have a fast food addiction, but I have comfort food addiction -- basically pub food and chocolate chip cookies. I've learned not to cut those things out; just to replace them with healthier options.

I love pizza, and I've had pizza every day this week for lunch (and dinner some nights), while still being under my caloric limit. I make my own sauce and spread it on those Mountain Bread Light Wraps from Costco (70 calories for each sheet). Throw some cheese and mixed veggies on there, and I'm set. Very tasty, and fairly low in carbs as well (though I'm not counting carbs; that is not realistic for me as I would go straight back to eating carbs after I lost the weight).

For cookies, I'm trying to find a good single-serving recipe. That way, I can bake and enjoy ONE cookie, and not gorge myself on the batter (..and the other cookies).

We all have our addictions, we just have to find a way to live with them and work around them. CLEARLY, you've been able to do that already -- congrats on the 63lb weight loss!! Just fine-tune it and keep going!

bankgirl09

I'm right there with you Natalie and I feel your pain. Today instead of eating lunch (I'm working from home today), I had a Little Debbie Oatmeal creme pie and 3 Reese peanut butter cup miniatures. BUT I did drink 8 oz of water with them. I keep telling myself NO MORE, but the will power just isn't there....but I had a scare on 12/30/11 and thought I was having a heart attack. Was hospitalized overnight. NO heart attack, but enough to scare me. I have two young children. I'm divorced..now I just keep telling myself how messed up their lives would be if something happened to me and they had to stay with the ex all the time.

I'm starting to walk (gotta start somewhere) and I'm trying to watch what I eat. I find that my work from home days are very challenging...so my plan is to just stop buying that crap!

Good luck to you!

ahjenny

I would really suggest looking into the paleo/primal diet. It's lower carb, but the main focus is on clean eating. I've been on it a couple of day and having been losing weight each day (only because I was eating a lot of crap and carbs, so I'm still adjusting). I have been feeling a lot better. It's a little more effort, but not by much. And if you have a crock pot, you can use that to make things even easier! Just a suggestion, as I've been where you are with eating crappy foods and not enjoying them, and getting all the bad consequences from it. Whatever you choose, good luck! Knowing you have a problem is nearly half the solution.

christinehetz80

My pattern was getting up eating a fast breakfast coming to work not eating at all, hitting the gym working out like crazy and then going home and literally just devouring food until bedtime. So yeah...I feel ya. It was horrible..I hated not getting any results, but it was like well seriously "How can I?" Plus I was eating HORRIBLE food. Believe it or not the answer for me has been eating more...all the time. I eat a breakfast, midmorning snack, lunch, midafternoon snack, dinner, after dinner...the difference is I know what I'm eating...I plan on it...its nutritious...it fuels my workouts...it isn't just cake and cookies (which were my big weakness). What has also very very very much helped has been focusing my workouts on a goal...and the goal isn't weight based. I have a goal of losing weight, but thats not why I work out anymore. I work out to get me thru my first 5k, then afterwards I start training for an 8k, then the 10k and my big ole whopper of 13.1. I'm excited about those future achievements...those are what keep me on track with my eating and exercising. I hope this makes sense and wasn't just rambling.

LoggingForLife

There is a book, Breaking free from compulsive eating by Geenen Roth. It's very old but it changed my life. She doesn't advocate dieting, per se. I follow many of her principals but I do track what I eat. She suggests paying attention to your body and feed it when you are hungry...to feed yourself from the "inside" and not according to a diet plan. I've listened to my body forever and it always steers me right to the nearest Dunkin Donuts. So I count calories.

I have also learned that I can't have both. I can't have the junk and have a healthy, fit and energetic body. They just don't go together. So I have to pick one. I have also learned that it is possible to be thin and be very unhappy. Being thin doesn't take away other life problems....but a therapist can help with that!

Showgirlbody

I am not really a snacker, I just like meals. Big meals where I feel full. I love take out. I have eaten a great breakfast and made my lunch for years now, but the dinner drive home was always terrible. It just takes a while to break the habit. Now that I'm making my own food, I feel better and I don't want to waste my workouts. I also tell myself that I can have a cheat meal or cheat day on the weekend after I weigh in if I really want it. Telling myself that I can have it actually makes it less tempting. You don't want to ban your favorite things, just find a way to work it in to a mostly healthy diet. 90/10. Eat good nutritious food, 90 percent of the time. Cook lightened versions of stuff you like where you can get more volume for the calories. Most say it takes 21 days to make a habit. So distract yourself from your addictive food for a bit until you are just used to eating your healthy stuff. I can't order pizza just yet, I know that is a trigger food where I will want to binge. I can eat fast food and feel like I don't need to do that again. Yesterday, a co-worker brought in homemade chocolate chip cookies. I realized that they weren't that good, so I just took a bite and threw the rest away (not in front of her). It didn't always happen like that, I would eat it anyway if it was gross. But now I just want to use them wisely, if I'm going to get something fattening and delicious, I want to savor it and it be all I hoped it would be. It would probably be more satisfying too since it lived up to the craving. One day at a time, change a meal or item little by little until you can't imagine not eating the healthy, filling light foods that don't make you feel like lead.