Lack of Family Support

FitnessGeek

Okay, this may be a little bit of a rant, but it's gotta happen.

I'll start by saying that every single person in my family is overweight: all 4 of my younger siblings, my mother, my dad, my grandparents. Every person in my family who has passed away within the last 20 years has died of heart disease or diabetes...every single one. My grandfather had a quadruple heart by-pass 3 years ago, and my 15 year old sister was just told that she has a heart problem caused by weight...at her age!

So why wouldn't my family want different for me?

I have never really been over-weight because I've always been very active and watch what I eat. I noticed this year that I had slowly put on 15lbs in 2008, and that I wanted to lose that weight and use this opportunity to get in the best shape of my life.

So, I go to visit my family and I mentioned this site and recommended it. I told them about my recent success in losing 12 lbs in 6 weeks and that this site has entirely removed the guess work from my daily routine...well they began to lecture me about how I'm too skinny, like a bean pole yada yada. They told me that measuring all my food isn't healthy behavior and that I am going to 'waste away to nothing'. Well, let me tell you, I am the one who sees myself naked everyday! I know what I do and do not look like, and there is no chance of me wasting away! I also know that I am going about this in the healthiest way possible. My goal isn't to look skinny, my goal is to be healthy. I only wish they could be happy for me, instead of giving me doubts about what I consider to be a good choice.

Has anybody else had a similar situation with their families or friends?

FitnessGeek

Okay, this may be a little bit of a rant, but it's gotta happen.

I'll start by saying that every single person in my family is overweight: all 4 of my younger siblings, my mother, my dad, my grandparents. Every person in my family who has passed away within the last 20 years has died of heart disease or diabetes...every single one. My grandfather had a quadruple heart by-pass 3 years ago, and my 15 year old sister was just told that she has a heart problem caused by weight...at her age!

So why wouldn't my family want different for me?

I have never really been over-weight because I've always been very active and watch what I eat. I noticed this year that I had slowly put on 15lbs in 2008, and that I wanted to lose that weight and use this opportunity to get in the best shape of my life.

So, I go to visit my family and I mentioned this site and recommended it. I told them about my recent success in losing 12 lbs in 6 weeks and that this site has entirely removed the guess work from my daily routine...well they began to lecture me about how I'm too skinny, like a bean pole yada yada. They told me that measuring all my food isn't healthy behavior and that I am going to 'waste away to nothing'. Well, let me tell you, I am the one who sees myself naked everyday! I know what I do and do not look like, and there is no chance of me wasting away! I also know that I am going about this in the healthiest way possible. My goal isn't to look skinny, my goal is to be healthy. I only wish they could be happy for me, instead of giving me doubts about what I consider to be a good choice.

Has anybody else had a similar situation with their families or friends?

brookefoley

Yes, I have the same situation in my own family. Sounds to me like they are jealous of your success. None of them are willing to do the work to get to where you are. It is not enough for you to just tell them about the website. They have to want to change for themselves.
It may be better for you to just lead by example and maybe they will come around. Try not to want them to validate your accomplishments, because I don't know if you will get them to say "hey you're doing great" when it makes them feel badly about themselves. You may have to just be satisfied and secure in the knowledge that you are benefiting your own health and maybe even saving your life in the process!

ivykivy

I think sometimes they see your desire to lose weight and mentioning the site as you attacking them personally. You say "let's get healthy and lose weight"; they hear "You are fat, people, lose some weight". So they attack you with the comments and food.

I just left everyone alone and they left me alone. Then after awhile they became supportive when they realized I wasn't going to cram the healthy eating/lose weight idea down their throats.

My cousin died a couple of weeks ago from a massive heart attack. He was over 500 pounds. I think that made everyone stop and think 'maybe we need to do something'. So now they are trying. My sister started walking, my mom is doing Richard Simmons.

Hopefully your family will come around soon.:flowerforyou:

eriny

me no support from family or friends till i found this site and now i myself im helping family now and funny the friends now not talking so much anymore

Rachael

I hope your family comes around soon. Sometimes family and friends are just afraid of you changing...as if by losing weight you somehow won't be the same person. If they don't come around, you've always got us. And I say, "Way to go, keep up the awesome work!"

cediyam

They are probably afraid of change. Keep doing what you're doing. They'll soon follow when they see how great you look.. and how fit and healthy you are as well. When you are going for a walk invite them. Even if they refuse keep inviting them. Make a fancy healthy filling meal for them. Let them know that you are not really depriving yourself of anything good. don't worry, they'll come around. One thing that helped my sister decide she needed to make changes ASAP was those shows they have on discovery health. Those freaked her out.

wilted6orchid

Yup, my whole family too. But, Hubby supports me and the healthy lifestyle.

Eriny, nice new avatar.:bigsmile::blushing: :laugh:

eriny

thank you sexy eriny :blushing:

Tari

Congratulations on the success you've had already. Looking at your chart and goal, it looks like you are not turning into a bean pole but are becoming a nice healthy weight. If all your family is use to being around heavier people and they have come to accept that as normal then compared to them you are skinny. The opposite happens when all one looks at is skinny models with no muscle, compared to that image, a person with good muscle tone and a healthy weight looks heavy. It's so important to remember someone's frame of reference.

Sometimes our family can be our worst critic!

To be sure you are on track, look at your body mass index, and at a chart that shows height, weight, body/bone size and age. By arming yourself with the facts you can keep their loving comments in perspective.

To ivykivy,
It is so sad that your cousin died, but it is comforting that his death has come as a wake up call to others.
I agree with what you said about others ocassionally taking your words and hearing something else.

Marla64

Misery loves company, I guess, eh? Don't worry about your family-- you're doing this for you. You can't do it for them, nor can you make them want to do it. We each have to come to this journey on our own.

Be happy and proud of your success.