I was to lose it the RIGHT way (for once!)

Twinsmama75

In my late teens I would run as a punishment to myself (weird, I know)...I would tell myself negative things to push myself forward. (looking back, at 125lbs & 5'7", I didn't need to lose anything).

In my late twenties, after the birth of my twins, I did WW with NO exercise and lost 45 lbs. I was underweight at that point, tired, and starving!!! After 2 more kids, and the suicides of my brother in law in 2008 and then my own dear brother this past August, I am back up to about 170 lbs. I'm trying to work through my brothers death without food as a comfort...which is a new thing for me, lol.

Now I'm 36 years old. I'm not having anymore children, so no more huge weight gains & post partum depression to screw me up. I have depression/anxiety in general and have my meds pretty sorted out at this point. I see a therapist, take my meds and for the first time in years......I'm exercising!!

I am trying something "new" for me. I want to lose weight because I love myself, because I want to live a long life, have energy to play with my kids, be able to get out of bed in the morning and improve my depression. I want to do it for positive reasons instead of a punishment to myself. I have to keep from getting obsessed and only eating 800 calories or something crazy like I have done in the past.

So, over the past few weeks I've worked up to 20 minutes on the elliptical...aiming for 30 mins/ 5-6 days a week. And 1500 calories & I'm eating back my exercise calories. I have lost several pounds...I just have to ignore the people who are dropping it faster b/c it makes me feel like my progress is slow...but for the first and hopefully last time in my life, I want to lose it the RIGHT way, so I can keep it off!

kandi514

I am new to MFP and to posting. I read your post and decided to respond because I want you to stay encouraged and I want to stay encouraged myself. I too have suffered from deppression in the past and was on meds as well as talk therapy. I don't do either anymore, but I do understand that the way you view yourself can have a tremedious effect on your mood. It takes me a while to loose weight too and mostly I don't eat enough calories. I find it hard to eat enough calories and eat things that I like and are easy to get. I try to limit the amount of red meat I eat and only eat lamb for the most part not more than once a month. I don't eat pork and try to limit breads, so that doesn't leave me many choices that I see but this time I am going to stick with things. I have done weight watchers, but I like knowing what calories I am eating as opposed to points. I do like the fact that I can eat as much non starch veggies as I want on WW without them counting. I am 5'5 and need to loose 70 pounds but I focus on loosing 1 to 2 pounds a week. I excersice but not like I should always something else to do. I like walking outside and do this with a co worker about 4 days a week weather permitting, but I may start going back to the gym and walking on the treadmill at an incline 5 days a week. Anyway, I wanted to tell you to stick with things and you will do it the right way for all the right reasons. I am going to try and do the same.