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  • visualsoul
    visualsoul Posts: 13
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    Sadly some people (even those who say they love us) are so mean and hurtful to us. You have got to create boundaries even with your husband, especially if he is not encouraging you to be a better you. It sounds to me that he has some insecurities and is fearful of how your self esteem IS going to skyrocket and he is not going to be able to handle it. I know you love him and I will not bash him, but you must love you before you can love anyone else. So keep on loving you and dropping those pounds:)
  • AnninStPaul
    AnninStPaul Posts: 1,372 Member
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    I have always had an unsuportive family. At 170 I was overweight but I was told by my parents to eat something because I look sick. Now I get "23 lbs, thats nothing, your still fat" UGH. I just never thought my husband would be unsuportive. It hurts. Hes 125 lbs 5 '8 and he eats MD every day for lunch. He eats more calories in 1 day then I do in a week. Part of the reason I gained so much weight was due to the unhealthy foods in our house.

    Um, tell him if he's not supportive, you have a way of losing 125 of worthless weight pretty quickly.

    I'd share that with the parents too...sorry, OP, you're in a tough place!
  • kammy92
    kammy92 Posts: 408 Member
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    Wow!!! If my husband said that I'd #$$%%&&&&&****##$%&*-&%$#!!!!!!!!!:mad:
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
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    Wow, that's tough. Maybe he'll finally see that you're serious about your weight loss and change his tune? If not, well... there might be bigger problems to deal with in the relationship. That's just extremely hard to deal with when you're with someone who basically kicks you when you're down and struggling to get up. *hugs* Hope it gets better...
  • tacticalhippie
    tacticalhippie Posts: 596 Member
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    Good Luck!

    My husband is very unsupportive as well.
    He comes from an obese family and has no concept of health.

    He does admit it's insecurity and jealousy now.

    Hope things get better!
  • brandyosu
    brandyosu Posts: 257 Member
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    Unfortunately, it sounds like he wants to keep you where you are. Perhaps he's afraid that if you lose the weight you will gain confidence and move on to someone else. People who tend to bully or put down others tend to do so to make themselves feel better because of their own insecurities. I'm sorry that you are in an unsupportive home situation. I hope that you can always at least come here and draw some support, inspiration and motivation from all the people who are proving just how successful you can be. And 23 pounds is nothing to scoff at. You are on your way. The only one that can stop you is YOU...just tune out the noise of those who would hold you back!
  • applebobbrush
    applebobbrush Posts: 235 Member
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    Tell him "you better hope I reach my goal, because you aren't getting any loving until I do"!
  • mammafrog
    mammafrog Posts: 176
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    I know how you feel. Last night I said I was going to do an hour straight on the treadmill (i am just getting started) and my husband laughed instead of encouraging me. Might I ad he sat on the couch in the same room and ate ice cream while I did my hour
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Wow that sucks, I'm sorry!! Have you been overweight throughout your whole relationship? Maybe he's afraid that you'll leave him when you lose weight. I don't know what advice I can give you, he's not being very supportive at all.
    23lbs lost since October is awesome!! You just keep it up, you're doing a great thing for your health!!
  • CoraGregoryCPA
    CoraGregoryCPA Posts: 1,087 Member
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    Yuck!

    But I would like to remind you not to call them "slip ups", they are choices. And we have choices to eat the yummy food that will throw us over the cals somedays.. it's ok.. It's OUR choices .. not slip ups.

    I hate that when people tell me, "But aren't you on a diet or watching yours cals or something". I say "yeah and this is included!"

    It's sad that people think you can't eat fun and yummy while losing a couple of lbs along the way. Good Luck to you and stay strong. It sounds like your husband is becoming jealous and a lot of men do worry that their wife will leave them once they are thin. Sounds like you need to have a heart to heart with him and remind him that you aren't going anywhere.. you just want to be healthier so you can be around longer!
  • netsirk12
    netsirk12 Posts: 220 Member
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    Wow that sucks, I'm sorry!! Have you been overweight throughout your whole relationship? Maybe he's afraid that you'll leave him when you lose weight. I don't know what advice I can give you, he's not being very supportive at all.
    23lbs lost since October is awesome!! You just keep it up, you're doing a great thing for your health!!
    [/quote}

    I was between 170 and 180 when we met. He always told me I looked great. I was still overweight then. His family is all thin and make comments as well. I love how he bashes my family for the coments that they make about my weight though last night he proved to be just as heartless as them. After explaining to him how hurt I was he apprently dosnt think i am seerious
  • trinajoy7
    trinajoy7 Posts: 16 Member
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    we believe in you, but most of all, believe in yourself. Don't let anyone, not even your husband, keep you from being the best you, you can be. He is insecure and afraid of losing you. Be encouraged.
  • LauraSmyth28
    LauraSmyth28 Posts: 399 Member
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    I think anyone who would be so unsupportive to their partner losing weight and getting healthy must be terrified their partner will leave them when they are thinner. Absolutley ridiculous, but why else would they not be happy for you?

    My best friend is in the same position as you OP. She has around 60lbs to lose, has lost 7lbs, and her boyfriend keeps saying "oh you'll never do it, just stay how you are". And he keeps ordering pizzas and chinese.

    What an *kitten*.

    My boyfriend, although he is not the best at many things, has supported me in this. And to be honest, I need his support. I hope you have someone else in your life that can keep you motivated. (((hugs)))
  • diver71_au
    diver71_au Posts: 424 Member
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    My wife keeps calling me "heo map" which is Viet for fat pig (supposedly a term of endearment). But then when I start trying to slim down she starts buy chocolate biscuits in bulk and leaving them where I can see them from my computer desk :(

    The only person that you need to lose weight for is you. If those around you don't appreciate what you are doing then spend more time with other people ... those that do understand and are supportive.
  • sjostrich
    sjostrich Posts: 117 Member
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    "No matter how slow you go, you are lapping everyone on the couch"

    Fabulous quote.

    All I can say is to make sure to tell your man how you're feeling and maybe talk him through why you're changing your lifestyle. As cliched as this may sound, communication is sooo vital. Don't let any misunderstandings fester.

    <3

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