how much we win even if we don't lose...
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purrrr
Posts: 1,073
Today, together with the spring I celebrate 2 months since I changed my life. I didn't start a thread because I want to share my excitement of how much weight I have lost in 2 months - my ticker is updated and everyone can see that anytime... 32 pounds is a big number as a whole or not so big if you compare to the total bulk of weight I have to lose. I weigh-in at 233.5 this morning, so I am still one huge heck of a woman, 2nd level obese and nowhere close to sexy, so it's not like I can flaunt my butt about it... However, what I really wanted to share is something that goes beyond the numbers and the looks, and that many of us probably fail to see because they are disappointed that the scale/tape measurer hasn't shown progress or it hasn't moved enough... Do we even realize how much we win even if we don't lose while pursuing a better lifestyle? I remember seeing Tami once commented that about halfway on her weight loss she stopped snoring and felt other small improvements to her overall health. I can so relate to that, I actually remember my last boyfriend complaining about me snoring in his head, which I almost thought was a joke because, you see, I've always been overweight and didn't snore but then I was obese and how come I snore? So, imagine, if you never even lost any weight or an inch or anything but that was the only single thing you achieved, how much this alone is - you no longer have to torture the person you love every damn night just because they have the (mis)fortune to sleep next to you.
So I started this thread because I wanted to share how much more than 32 pounds I have achieved in 2 months:
2 MONTHS AGO
I was one stiff bulk of fats that could hardly put her socks on. There was so much pudge everywhere that I just couldn't reach all the way to my feet and had to either raise my foot over the table and suffer to balance my body on one foot or reach in pain sidewards while seated. I'm not sure if you get the picture but man, was it embarrassing to have to do it in such a grotesque manner. Then, I would need to take something from under the bed... Which can typically be done by just crouching and reaching under... But the fat prevented me from crouching enough, so I had to fall on my knees instead to be able to reach under... and then I'd feel even more helpless because I can't even stand up - I'd grab some furniture for support but how do you support almost 300 pounds... OMG, I had never even imagined how much pain and discomfort are obese people going through on a daily basis!!!
NOW
Well, I don't even notice when I put my socks on because it's done the natural way this is supposed to be done... I move a lot every day since I have so much energy left (from eating 10 times less than before LOL) and I don't just crouch but I do squats, lunges, crunches, i dance, jump and bump all over the house and I don't even know why I wasn't excercising before or why did I get to the point where I deprived myself of the natural ability to do that.
2 MONTHS AGO
I was one sickly thing. I actually spent Christmas, New Year and my Birthday sick in bed and every time it was a different disease. I sure have been sick before but never so often before I became "extremely obese". Coincidence?!
NOW
I'm not yet in perfect health but I definitely feel better both mentally and physically and I know it's only going to improve from here.
2 MONTHS AGO
I was in a constant depression... or maybe rather apathy... I was denying my existence and I wouldn't even look in the mirror, let alone do something for my life....
NOW
I actually feel happy. For no particular reason whatsoever. Just happy that I am me right here, right now and doing something for myself that nobody else would do for me because I am the only one in charge of myself and yes, i AM in charge! I've also planned a ton of things for the near future and right now can't wait for some better weather here... I'm not even bothered by the fact that I won't look good enough this summer, it has been enough summers that I avoided swimwear, so whatever I look in August, that's what the world will have to accept at the beach...
2 MONTHS AGO
I ate. And ate. And Ate... OMG, all the friggin time. I never even learnt to cook because why spend an hour cooking when I can spend one extra hour stuffing my face. My day would be like this: I drag my fat *kitten* to the closest store, buy 2 big bags of ready food and random junk, then come back and eat eat eat until there's nothing left anymore. I couldn't even go to bed if I knew there's food in the house. I don't even know why I had a fridge since I never stored anything inside.
NOW
I am always within my calories and never had a binge during these 2 months. Not once. It's amazing how I eat times less and feel satisfied all the time. I never even needed all that food I ate before and I have hardly caught myself craving anything that I once used to eat. I now eat very clean and do my own healthy cooking. It has cost me 2 trays and 1 pot that I burnt and a lot of food that I had to throw away because it wasn't successful but gawd does the food taste different when it's prepared with your own love, fantasy and you know what exactly is inside (but not made at some ghostly factory somewhere in the world). I have read many people view it like they are deprived from foodstuff while on a diet. I actually think I was deprived from foodstuff before that because I never knew this variety of dishes and healthy food existed at all. I have found at least 30 kinds of spices that are now in my drawer, most of which were unknown to me (although I have probably consumed them in some form before) and they alone can be mixed in so many variants that I'd never feel bored with the same taste. I also found ways to prepare my own healthy sweet delights, so I don't even crave anything sweet because I have enough if I want to. I know I am lucky to have a lot of time on my hands, so I can cook 3 times a day but actually most things are so quick to prepare, it takes more time to go to the corner shop for a snack than fix them... It's rather a matter of determination to change your life than anything else.
This really became a long read but I wanted to show how much better I feel now and I hope it will help motivate someone who has almost given up because the scale hasn't moved yet for them (I see such threads often posted here). We are all put on the scale after we are born and babies weight different but they all need the same amount of love and care from their parents. You are now put on the scale and you weight different from what you want but your body needs the same amount of love and care and you have no excuses to go back to treating it wrong just because of some static number on the floor.
:flowerforyou:
So I started this thread because I wanted to share how much more than 32 pounds I have achieved in 2 months:
2 MONTHS AGO
I was one stiff bulk of fats that could hardly put her socks on. There was so much pudge everywhere that I just couldn't reach all the way to my feet and had to either raise my foot over the table and suffer to balance my body on one foot or reach in pain sidewards while seated. I'm not sure if you get the picture but man, was it embarrassing to have to do it in such a grotesque manner. Then, I would need to take something from under the bed... Which can typically be done by just crouching and reaching under... But the fat prevented me from crouching enough, so I had to fall on my knees instead to be able to reach under... and then I'd feel even more helpless because I can't even stand up - I'd grab some furniture for support but how do you support almost 300 pounds... OMG, I had never even imagined how much pain and discomfort are obese people going through on a daily basis!!!
NOW
Well, I don't even notice when I put my socks on because it's done the natural way this is supposed to be done... I move a lot every day since I have so much energy left (from eating 10 times less than before LOL) and I don't just crouch but I do squats, lunges, crunches, i dance, jump and bump all over the house and I don't even know why I wasn't excercising before or why did I get to the point where I deprived myself of the natural ability to do that.
2 MONTHS AGO
I was one sickly thing. I actually spent Christmas, New Year and my Birthday sick in bed and every time it was a different disease. I sure have been sick before but never so often before I became "extremely obese". Coincidence?!
NOW
I'm not yet in perfect health but I definitely feel better both mentally and physically and I know it's only going to improve from here.
2 MONTHS AGO
I was in a constant depression... or maybe rather apathy... I was denying my existence and I wouldn't even look in the mirror, let alone do something for my life....
NOW
I actually feel happy. For no particular reason whatsoever. Just happy that I am me right here, right now and doing something for myself that nobody else would do for me because I am the only one in charge of myself and yes, i AM in charge! I've also planned a ton of things for the near future and right now can't wait for some better weather here... I'm not even bothered by the fact that I won't look good enough this summer, it has been enough summers that I avoided swimwear, so whatever I look in August, that's what the world will have to accept at the beach...
2 MONTHS AGO
I ate. And ate. And Ate... OMG, all the friggin time. I never even learnt to cook because why spend an hour cooking when I can spend one extra hour stuffing my face. My day would be like this: I drag my fat *kitten* to the closest store, buy 2 big bags of ready food and random junk, then come back and eat eat eat until there's nothing left anymore. I couldn't even go to bed if I knew there's food in the house. I don't even know why I had a fridge since I never stored anything inside.
NOW
I am always within my calories and never had a binge during these 2 months. Not once. It's amazing how I eat times less and feel satisfied all the time. I never even needed all that food I ate before and I have hardly caught myself craving anything that I once used to eat. I now eat very clean and do my own healthy cooking. It has cost me 2 trays and 1 pot that I burnt and a lot of food that I had to throw away because it wasn't successful but gawd does the food taste different when it's prepared with your own love, fantasy and you know what exactly is inside (but not made at some ghostly factory somewhere in the world). I have read many people view it like they are deprived from foodstuff while on a diet. I actually think I was deprived from foodstuff before that because I never knew this variety of dishes and healthy food existed at all. I have found at least 30 kinds of spices that are now in my drawer, most of which were unknown to me (although I have probably consumed them in some form before) and they alone can be mixed in so many variants that I'd never feel bored with the same taste. I also found ways to prepare my own healthy sweet delights, so I don't even crave anything sweet because I have enough if I want to. I know I am lucky to have a lot of time on my hands, so I can cook 3 times a day but actually most things are so quick to prepare, it takes more time to go to the corner shop for a snack than fix them... It's rather a matter of determination to change your life than anything else.
This really became a long read but I wanted to show how much better I feel now and I hope it will help motivate someone who has almost given up because the scale hasn't moved yet for them (I see such threads often posted here). We are all put on the scale after we are born and babies weight different but they all need the same amount of love and care from their parents. You are now put on the scale and you weight different from what you want but your body needs the same amount of love and care and you have no excuses to go back to treating it wrong just because of some static number on the floor.
:flowerforyou:
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Replies
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Today, together with the spring I celebrate 2 months since I changed my life. I didn't start a thread because I want to share my excitement of how much weight I have lost in 2 months - my ticker is updated and everyone can see that anytime... 32 pounds is a big number as a whole or not so big if you compare to the total bulk of weight I have to lose. I weigh-in at 233.5 this morning, so I am still one huge heck of a woman, 2nd level obese and nowhere close to sexy, so it's not like I can flaunt my butt about it... However, what I really wanted to share is something that goes beyond the numbers and the looks, and that many of us probably fail to see because they are disappointed that the scale/tape measurer hasn't shown progress or it hasn't moved enough... Do we even realize how much we win even if we don't lose while pursuing a better lifestyle? I remember seeing Tami once commented that about halfway on her weight loss she stopped snoring and felt other small improvements to her overall health. I can so relate to that, I actually remember my last boyfriend complaining about me snoring in his head, which I almost thought was a joke because, you see, I've always been overweight and didn't snore but then I was obese and how come I snore? So, imagine, if you never even lost any weight or an inch or anything but that was the only single thing you achieved, how much this alone is - you no longer have to torture the person you love every damn night just because they have the (mis)fortune to sleep next to you.
So I started this thread because I wanted to share how much more than 32 pounds I have achieved in 2 months:
2 MONTHS AGO
I was one stiff bulk of fats that could hardly put her socks on. There was so much pudge everywhere that I just couldn't reach all the way to my feet and had to either raise my foot over the table and suffer to balance my body on one foot or reach in pain sidewards while seated. I'm not sure if you get the picture but man, was it embarrassing to have to do it in such a grotesque manner. Then, I would need to take something from under the bed... Which can typically be done by just crouching and reaching under... But the fat prevented me from crouching enough, so I had to fall on my knees instead to be able to reach under... and then I'd feel even more helpless because I can't even stand up - I'd grab some furniture for support but how do you support almost 300 pounds... OMG, I had never even imagined how much pain and discomfort are obese people going through on a daily basis!!!
NOW
Well, I don't even notice when I put my socks on because it's done the natural way this is supposed to be done... I move a lot every day since I have so much energy left (from eating 10 times less than before LOL) and I don't just crouch but I do squats, lunges, crunches, i dance, jump and bump all over the house and I don't even know why I wasn't excercising before or why did I get to the point where I deprived myself of the natural ability to do that.
2 MONTHS AGO
I was one sickly thing. I actually spent Christmas, New Year and my Birthday sick in bed and every time it was a different disease. I sure have been sick before but never so often before I became "extremely obese". Coincidence?!
NOW
I'm not yet in perfect health but I definitely feel better both mentally and physically and I know it's only going to improve from here.
2 MONTHS AGO
I was in a constant depression... or maybe rather apathy... I was denying my existence and I wouldn't even look in the mirror, let alone do something for my life....
NOW
I actually feel happy. For no particular reason whatsoever. Just happy that I am me right here, right now and doing something for myself that nobody else would do for me because I am the only one in charge of myself and yes, i AM in charge! I've also planned a ton of things for the near future and right now can't wait for some better weather here... I'm not even bothered by the fact that I won't look good enough this summer, it has been enough summers that I avoided swimwear, so whatever I look in August, that's what the world will have to accept at the beach...
2 MONTHS AGO
I ate. And ate. And Ate... OMG, all the friggin time. I never even learnt to cook because why spend an hour cooking when I can spend one extra hour stuffing my face. My day would be like this: I drag my fat *kitten* to the closest store, buy 2 big bags of ready food and random junk, then come back and eat eat eat until there's nothing left anymore. I couldn't even go to bed if I knew there's food in the house. I don't even know why I had a fridge since I never stored anything inside.
NOW
I am always within my calories and never had a binge during these 2 months. Not once. It's amazing how I eat times less and feel satisfied all the time. I never even needed all that food I ate before and I have hardly caught myself craving anything that I once used to eat. I now eat very clean and do my own healthy cooking. It has cost me 2 trays and 1 pot that I burnt and a lot of food that I had to throw away because it wasn't successful but gawd does the food taste different when it's prepared with your own love, fantasy and you know what exactly is inside (but not made at some ghostly factory somewhere in the world). I have read many people view it like they are deprived from foodstuff while on a diet. I actually think I was deprived from foodstuff before that because I never knew this variety of dishes and healthy food existed at all. I have found at least 30 kinds of spices that are now in my drawer, most of which were unknown to me (although I have probably consumed them in some form before) and they alone can be mixed in so many variants that I'd never feel bored with the same taste. I also found ways to prepare my own healthy sweet delights, so I don't even crave anything sweet because I have enough if I want to. I know I am lucky to have a lot of time on my hands, so I can cook 3 times a day but actually most things are so quick to prepare, it takes more time to go to the corner shop for a snack than fix them... It's rather a matter of determination to change your life than anything else.
This really became a long read but I wanted to show how much better I feel now and I hope it will help motivate someone who has almost given up because the scale hasn't moved yet for them (I see such threads often posted here). We are all put on the scale after we are born and babies weight different but they all need the same amount of love and care from their parents. You are now put on the scale and you weight different from what you want but your body needs the same amount of love and care and you have no excuses to go back to treating it wrong just because of some static number on the floor.
:flowerforyou:0 -
That is an amazing reflection. You should print this out and then print another sheet that says 2 months from now and make some goals. I can feel it too in myself so I get what you are saying. You are on such a good path!! Keep up the amazing work and cant wait to hear your next update
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wtg I can totally relate ..starting myself at 273 hard to do EVERYTHING and dont even think about painting your toes lol...I was so happy when I painted mine..no huff and puff from just taking a shower...Gawd I can totally relate..now I want to record myself to see if I still snore haha. WTG!!! Im sure there are many more good things to come!!:drinker:0
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Very good post my dear. And I am glad that you make the point that it is not all about the scale. It is about an improved life. I started my journey a little under four months ago and I feel the same way. Like you I have lost a good amount of weight. Started 11/16/2008 at 319lbs and as of today I am 247. But that hasnt been the differenct.
4 month ago- I was barley able to get my size 48 waist pants on and could barely squeeze in my 3XL shirt. I was ashamed that I had let myself get this big and worried about having to buy new clothes.
Today- My size 40 waist pants are getting to big on me and my old XL shirts fit comfortably. and I am EXCITED about having to buy new clothes.
4 months ago- I was ALWAYS tired. my sleep apnea was making my snoring unbareable for my wife and with all the driving I do for work I was constantly worried about falling asleep on the road.
Today-I always feel refreshed when I wake up and my wife says I barely make a peep at night. I enjoy the long rides and have no worries about falling asleep.
4 months ago- I could barely climb the stairs at work without feeling winded and exhausted.
Today- I ran three Miles.
4 months ago-My two sons had a father who was ALWAYS "to tired" to play.
Today- I am much more the father that I want to be.
It's good to take a look at the benefits beyond the scale. Thanks for making me think about and share this.
CHeers :drinker:0 -
This is so beautiful. I'm incredibly touched by this, and feel amazing to have been part of reading it. Thank you.0
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Thank you so much for appreciating my post, I totally needed to write this somewhere and I've never had a blog or something, this is about the only forum I ever visited and there are so many positive, motivational posts that have helped me in many ways, so I wish to be of help to others, as well. I really hate to see people give up when there's nothing to lose from living better, only so much to win. :flowerforyou:0
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Thank you for posting this. It is so true! I feel better than I have in a long, long while!
Even though I have a long way to go, I know I am on the right path.
Way to go Purrrr!!! Keep on going!! I know I am!!!:flowerforyou:0 -
Way to go. You know you and I sound very much alike. You can, if you haven't already read my full story on my profile. I used to have a hard time painting my toenails, putting my socks and shoes on and doing just about anything. I got on the scales on December 31, 2008, and weighed in at 292 pounds, the heaviest I have ever weighed in my whole life and way, way, way too much for someone who is 5'11/2", I about had a fit when I saw that, and I made up my mind right then and there that I was not going to weigh 300 pounds, and I no longer want to weigh 200 pounds. So, I joined this site December 31, 2008, but didn't start logging my food, exercising, etc, until January 1, 2009. I have not had any fried foods, any kinds of junk food or anything like that. I was a fast food junkie, I ate cheeseburgers and fries pretty much every day, I have not had one in almost 3 months.
you are such an inspiration to me. Keep on keeping on and we have come way too far to turn back now. You can do this girl, you have proved it. Thank you so much for posting this.:drinker:0 -
thanks girls and wtg for keeping on yourself regardless how fast or slow or hard it may be sometimes to fight the darn pudge
btw, mya, i have also been considering a record at night because i am curious to check if i still snore :laugh: it might take some longer for this problem to disappear, i have no idea at what point of my gaining weight it has started, it might just go away at the same point :blushing:0 -
:flowerforyou:
absolutely wonderful reflection! How wonderful for you!0 -
Thank you for sharing :flowerforyou: I could see myself in your story. I got to 235 and when I started here I was 220 I knew I had to change something because I was also tired and couldn't reach to tie my shoes with getting out of breath. So I knew something had to change and I was so happy my friend found this sight. This sight and people have changed my way of thinking and eating and excerciseing. Since I started here my asthma doctor took me off one of my meds. Because of the excercise it has helped my lungs and that in turn helped my breathing. So I am very grateful for all the support that I have gotten here. So Good luck to you and keep up the great work :drinker: :drinker:0
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Thank you so much for this post. It is nice to know there are others in the world going through what I am. You described so well the things that I have experienced and do experience.
I was even at a point where I did not feel I deserved to be loved because of my size. Luckily, my wonderful husband didn't see what I do. ( love is truly blind)
Now, I know that I can do this. I do not feel like I am suffering or doing without because, as you said, the variety is amazing.
Best wishes for your continued success on your weight loss journey / new way of living. You are truly doing this the right way.0 -
Thank for posting this wonderful message. I was just starting to get complacent about my weight loss. My food scale broke and for the past two days, I have been eyeballing it. I ended up taking a 1/2 day off from logging in my food. Your message made me remember why I am doing this. I'm back on track now and getting a scale 1st thing in the morning. I am determined to reach my goal. Thanks for your transparency.0
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