Funny, "slightly" inappropriate, jokes.

EmCarroll1990

I shall start:

I, P. Niss, hereby request a raise in salary on the following terms:

- I do physical labour
- I work at great depths
- I work in high temperatures
- I work in a damp environment
- I plunge head first into everything I do
- I do not get weekends or public holidays off
- My work exposes me to contagious diseases
- I work in a dark work place that has poor ventilation

Sincerely,
P. Niss

The Response:

Dear P. Niss,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request under the following reasons:

- You are unable to work double shifts
- You do not work 8 hours straight
- You will retire well before you are 65
- You fall asleep after brief work periods
- You do not always follow the orders of the management team
- You do not stay in your designated work area and are often seen visiting other locations
- You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
- You leave the work place rather messy at the end of your shift
- You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as; wearing the required protective clothing
- You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed an assinged task
- And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerly,
V. Gine


:laugh:

EmCarroll1990

And another:

Did you hear about the boy who was born with no eyelids? They had to fly him to some country in Asia to get this miracle surgery where they took skin from his... boy part... and sewed it so it worked as an eyelid.

He's okay, he'll just be a little c*ck-eyed.